(no subject)
'...i just dont want us to not be in each others lives.i wanna be there to see you graduate,everything.even if its your wedding,i want to be there.your my best friend.i know somebody will make you happy the way you deserve,they will.but i wanna be there as your best friend.i know we'll never be in a relationship again,it was a two way thing...'
i cried.so hard.and mourned over it,really.and asked hesterically 'its just so sad...how can two people just fall outaa love.it makes me feel like i cant trust anything,even myself.'
id still take a bullet for him,is the point.when it comes down to it,ive never felt so...finally...at peace.we care,as friends.as deep ass running blood,love.not in any other way.we know this is what it is,we do not work.we will never again.ever.it was all soooo fucking much.and he said 'it was the worst fucking time in my life to have you.'that he cares about himself too much right now,that the whole time he just needed to work on making himself happy.oh,agreed.i didnt...but i grew.i know,and told him,i know exactly what i dont want now.you taught me that ill never loose so much self control ever again.and now...weve never agreed more.its like,pure,best friends.no jealousy now,noooo pressure,no thinking.just being there,enjoying each other company,as people.
im happy.very.content,smooth sailing.no fences,no resentment.just nothing bad in the people in my life right now,who we are to each other.chris and i do not mesh as a couple,everything is burnt to the ground,and come back around with it.we've fallen out of love,and we're ok.we've never been so honest and rational.so,peaceful.but ill always love him,for who he is deep inside,that only i know.
i cried.so hard.and mourned over it,really.and asked hesterically 'its just so sad...how can two people just fall outaa love.it makes me feel like i cant trust anything,even myself.'
id still take a bullet for him,is the point.when it comes down to it,ive never felt so...finally...at peace.we care,as friends.as deep ass running blood,love.not in any other way.we know this is what it is,we do not work.we will never again.ever.it was all soooo fucking much.and he said 'it was the worst fucking time in my life to have you.'that he cares about himself too much right now,that the whole time he just needed to work on making himself happy.oh,agreed.i didnt...but i grew.i know,and told him,i know exactly what i dont want now.you taught me that ill never loose so much self control ever again.and now...weve never agreed more.its like,pure,best friends.no jealousy now,noooo pressure,no thinking.just being there,enjoying each other company,as people.
im happy.very.content,smooth sailing.no fences,no resentment.just nothing bad in the people in my life right now,who we are to each other.chris and i do not mesh as a couple,everything is burnt to the ground,and come back around with it.we've fallen out of love,and we're ok.we've never been so honest and rational.so,peaceful.but ill always love him,for who he is deep inside,that only i know.