One last moment, in great detail
For days, I've wrestled with my brain cells on how to write this. I shouldn't have bothered. I've got the perfect ending for the 30 Days Meme and it fits the theme that is meant for closure. All because of the events from today.
I quit my day job in the call center.
It's going to be official tomorrow when I hand in my resignation letter to my team leader. I've known it for a while now. It explains my reluctance to go back to the office, put on my headset and talk incessantly to Australian customers for the next eight hours. I'm dying inside. I'm always tired, cranky and yearning for a simpler life. Maybe my dual life as a working student is catching up on me.
Aside from the emotional toll that it's taking out of my soul, I've spent more time in the hospital for check-ups with a specialist because of my recurring throat problem that's causing me to lose my only source of income: my voice. The doctors are always telling me to rest my vocal chords, sit still and quit my job if I want to have a complete recovery. I didn't want to believe it until I suffered quite terribly for two weeks because of a swollen neck. I'm completely convinced that my passion for talking has gotten out of control.
To put things into perspective, I left because of my health. Health is wealth. I would rather resign to recover than to push my body to it's limits. I have a feeling that it won't be too pretty. Surgery, anyone?
I'm going to look into the bright side. I think that God really knows what He's doing with our lives. Everything is always perfectly placed. I've got to trust Him now that He's holding my schedule. Kevin mentioned that he thinks that it's God's way of telling me to slow down and take a deep breath. I'm running myself to the ground. Maybe I should take the time to smell the roses. The bottom line is that I've got to quit being over-productive. It's going to kill me one of these days.
In another note, timing is everything. I've got two months left before the semester ends so it's enough time to be lazy and to enjoy my last days as a student. By October, God willing, I'll be receiving my diploma. I'll be getting the passport to the working world. I'll be on my way to my super-bright future! Maybe He's just telling me to focus my energies into my studies to avoid failing it. He's got a good point there. I'm planning to spend my remaining months in reading books, writing reviews and getting to know my family. I've got so much potential and so many dreams. I'm not going to let a little incident like this defeat me!
I don't think that the magnitude of my resignation has hit me completely but it will come. I'll probably cry, moan and mourn the loss of my monthly salary but that's it. What makes me sad is the fact that I'm going to say goodbye to some of the most awesome friends I've ever met. There's Pavielle and Julie who took me in when I thought that our work was mindless slavery because I didn't have anyone to talk to. (I love Pavs and Julie because we spent three hours in a doughnut shop today just talking. I've got to hand it to them. They know just how to get me!) There's Maine, Yves, Mike and Gilbert who cheered me up during training and taught me that I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. And there are so many great people in the company whose advice, small talk and daily presence taught me to value what I have. I'll always be grateful to my company because I've learned so much. I'll always want to come back. For now, I'm going to say a quick goodbye. It's for the best.
There are times when I loathe the word "goodbye". I don't want things to end. It makes me sad and happy. It's a most bittersweet feeling inside my chest. But I have to because there is nothing permanent in this world except change. You have to go with the flow. I have to swallow my discomfort and smile. There are more things to explore and there are more people to discover! Goodbye will always elicit a mixture of bitterness and sweetness to every meeting and parting.
My team manager once said something that stuck to me. "If you leave Teletech, please make sure that when I ask you if you're doing okay... You can say that you're in a happy place and you don't regret your decision in leaving our company." (He's a pragmatist.) I will definitely make sure of that. I don't want to disappoint.
As I walk out the doors of my company, I look around with a large smile. There is something great in goodbye.