I've Got Your Picture, I'm Coming With You Part 17
As always, I don't own anyone, none of this is real, blah blah blah, you know the drill.
“I want you to lock us in a room together.” Alex had holed up in the back lounge, but not necessarily by choice. The rest of the guys were still pissed about what had gone down the day before and had kind of banished him there by giving him the silent treatment. Matt had emerged from his bunk, for about 5 minutes after a LOT of persuasion from, well, basically the whole bus. He’d eaten, quickly, and then dived back into his bunk with his Mickey, blanket and his Disney DVDs. That was his safe place for now, and I’ll be damned if someone is going to take that away from him by force.
“No.”
“But... but you said, you said you were going to help....”
“I did, and I will. But I’m not doing that. That won’t help.”
“But... but it has in the past...”
“You haven’t shattered someone as thoroughly as you did Matt yesterday though.” Alex cringed. “I’m not trying to be mean Alex, but if you were Matt, would you seriously want that? I know you want him to hear you out, I get that, but it has to be on his terms. You had your chance and you blew it. You have to let him have a choice in this. I won’t lock him in a room with you. I won’t do it. No one on this bus will. You’ll have to find another way to make him listen to you, but you have to understand that it might be days before he will look at you again, let alone speak to you. And that’s his choice. His right. After what you did, he has every right to never speak to you again, but we both know Matt. He’ll speak to you, even if it’s just to tell you what he thinks. The thing is, it’s going to take time. How much, I don’t know, but it’ll take time. And if you force this, force him to talk before he’s ready, you might break it permanently. You have to let him come to you.” Alex hadn’t looked at me that whole time, he was looking at the carpet, and from what I could see of his face, he was close to tears.
“But I love him.”
“Alex... Alexander.” He wouldn’t look at me, so I walked over to him. I put my hand under his chin and gently tipped his head up so I could look into his eyes. “You really do, don’t you?” I wiped to tears that were slowly making their way down his cheeks. “Time. That’s all. Give it time. Promise me that? That you won’t push him until he’s ready?” He nodded, I nodded back and kissed him on the forehead, the way a mother does to a child who’s skinned a knee. Pulling away, I said “The crew will take a little convincing, but they’ll come around. They’ll be fine by the end of the night I’m sure. I’m gonna go check on Jack, okay? He said he wasn’t feeling well.” He nodded again, as I was turning to face the door. “Matt.” Matt was standing in the doorway, Mickey tucked under one arm, blanket half wrapped around him with the other. He could have passed for a three year old, waking up in the middle of the night, after a nightmare, looking for his mother, if he only had his thumb in his mouth. I had no idea he was even there, let alone for how long. He wasn’t looking at me, but at Alex, who was looking back at him with eyes the size of saucers, and tears dripping down both cheeks.
“Alex.” Matt sounded just as heartbroken as the day before. “I...” he cut off there, with, what looked like, no intention of finishing.
“I didn’t mean it.” I stepped back, to give them a clear eye line. I should have left. They both acted like I wasn’t in the room, but it was almost like watching a car crash. You know you shouldn’t watch, but yet you do, you’re transfixed because you have this insane, morbid curiosity about what’s about to happen.
“That you loved me?” Matt seemed confused.
“Everything mean and hurtful I said to you yesterday, I didn’t mean it. Jack was my safety blanket. He was what I used to hide behind. If the world saw Jalex, then they stopped looking any deeper. They stopped looking for who I was truly in love with.”
“And that is?”
“You. It always has been. It’s complicated and messy, and it’ll take a lifetime and a half to prove to you, but I’d really like to try, if you’d let me?” I held my breath at this point. This was make or break. I could see some of the other guys, about 2 feet behind Matt in the bunk hallway. We were all waiting to see what Matt would say.
“I... I don’t know Alex. I honestly don’t.”
“What... what do I have to do to prove this to you? Anything, name it, I’ll do it, just please, please Matt, give me a chance to show you I’m not lying. I love you.” Alex looked like this was slowly killing him, and Matt looked conflicted.
“Come here.” Alex was an inch away from Matt in an instant. “You love me?” Alex nodded. “How do you know?”
“I know because I lose my breath standing this close to you. I know because I smile when I wake up next to you and you’re still sleeping. I know because when I see a Mickey Mouse toy now, I wonder if you own it, rather than mocking you. I know because you make my heart race when you sing to me when I can’t sleep. I know because I know.” Matt chewed on his lip ring, and left us all hanging on the edge of this cliff.
“You love me?”
“I love you. I love you. I love you. I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face if that’ll make you believe me. I love you, James Matthew Flyzik. I love you. I love your lip ring. I love the frowny face you make when fan girls get too close. I love your Mickey Mouse obsession. I love when you sing. I love everything about you. I love you. I’m in love with you.” Clearly that was the right wording to use, because in the next instant Matt’s hand was on the back of Alex’s neck, not wrapped in his blanket anymore.
“You love me?” Alex nodded. “You’re in love with me?”
“I love you. I’m in love with you. I’ll prove it to you, even if it takes the rest of our lives. I’ll prove it. I love you. I’m in love with you.” Matt chewed on his lip ring again, then nodded at an unanswered question.
“You love me.” Fact this time, not a question.
“I love you.” Matt nodded again, then pulled Alex in and kissed him. He wasn’t broken anymore, and neither was Alex.
Am I forgiven now, Amanda?
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