Tim Drake: Heterosexual Teen with Borderline Asexual Tendencies?
So there's some major hoopla going on over at Tumblr after Red Robin #23.
A lot of talk about fangirl's tendency to view Tim as gay vs. Fabian Nicieza's plan to throw several women in Tim's direction all at once and make him something of an accidental player (and a straight one at that).
There have been many, many excellent jokes about this, and I have, for the most part, been LoLing about it. But this sort of thing also inevitably makes one think a little bit too. So without further adieu...
Some theories on Tim Drake and his love-life/virginity/intimacy issues...
1. I don't think it's just girls, and I don't think it's just sex. I think it's attention period. Kids tend to reflect the touchy-feeliness of their families. People from hugging families hug, etc. Now look at Tim's family. Tim's constantly-absent set of parents. Tim, as a general rule, is not used to hugs. Or kisses. Or having his cheeks pinched. Or being loved to the point where he is a priority. And by "used to" I mean he's not used to having these things done to him. These things make him the focus of attention. They make this stalking, hide-in-the-alley-with-his-camera, selfless sort of person into a priority, something more important than something else. Tim's not used to that. He's used to his parents' business trips coming first. He's used to the mission coming first. He's used to the team coming first. He's used to anything and everything coming first... except, of course, for Damian. (But that's a whole 'nother set of issues there.)
Even when Tim Drake-Wayne is in front of the cameras, giving press conferences, it's not really about *him*. It's about the mission, the company, the scandal, etc. Even when his father died, Tim went to the Titans and he didn't tell them squat. He didn't seek the pity/sympathy/kind words/hugs/attention... the team had to find out. It's not that Tim doesn't want attention. (He waited years for his father to see him for who he was; He welcomed the recognition of his talents from Dick and Bruce.)... he just doesn't expect to get it and therefore doesn't seek it, and is often surprised and a bit clueless regarding what to do, exactly, when he gets it. HIs tendency toward denial doesn't help him either. Even knowing through previous experiences that someone would care about his issues, sometimes Tim's habit of denial may keep him from truly recognizing the fact.
2. Tim tends to be a lot more comfortable when he is the one initiating something. But he's only going to initiate something if he knows it will be welcome. Like in Young Justice, shortly after Cassie started leading the team, when he's the one who brings up the fact that "Hey, leaders hug!" and he gives Cassie a much-needed leader-hug. Or at the Lazarus Pit... Dick may have been the one to suggest hugging it out, but Tim didn't initially let him do the hugging. Tim weighed his options, and then gave in and opened himself up for hugging. Or even that recent adorable and famous Kon hug--Tim started it. And he knew it was Kon, so though it might be surprising, it wouldn't be unwelcome. Tim also initiates Bruce hugs. Bruce may not be a big hugger, but Tim knows Bruce is not going to push him away. So they are rare and special moments where Tim is the catalyst.
But kissing and making out... you never know exactly what the other person's going to be okay with doing. Especially if you don't know them very well. And even if Tim does know someone well, he's going to over-think things. (He's Tim.) Also, Tim's serious about his relationships, romantic and otherwise, even though he screws them up sometimes by not knowing exactly where he stands. He's not really a casual person, just unschooled in the ways of close relationships that have nothing to do with fighting side-by-side. (As noted in the messy nature of his civilian friendships.) He's not gonna start anything with someone he hasn't known for a long time, and even then...
3. So this is possibly one of the crazy paradoxes that keeps Tim's virtue intact. He's not comfortable having a lot of physical/sexual pressure exerted on him, but he never assumes he can take any liberties. So he'd be more comfortable if he were the one to start sexual contact, but he's never about to start hardly any sexual contact. Voila. Perpetual purity. (And this is without really examining whatever moral views he may or may not have on the matter.)
4. Tim doesn't do peer pressure much. And even if he did, no one's really teasing him about his "manliness" or some such. The most he endures is Steph's little "boy virgin" crack from when they were dating. Fandom may raise a big stink about it, but when's the last time anybody in the actual comics criticized Tim for not dating someone? Or for being a virgin? Like it was something bad? And if they did, what are the chances that Tim would take that critique seriously? Tim may not be dating much, but he is very much living a full life. He has a dysfunctional but supportive family, he finally has his friends back and is seeing them as much as he can, and he is out every night saving lives. Romance is not even #10 on his priority list. Hasn't been since the 90's.
So even if DC decided to randomly throw the yaoi fanbase a bone, and decided to have Tim suddenly come out as bi, or even gay, after years of awkward straightness, and then have a bunch of guys suddenly throwing themselves at him Fabnick style... would Tim really act any differently? Would he suddenly stop being awkward and hesitant and transform into this cool, confident, and consistently laid guy?
Personally?
I kinda doubt it.
But I do freely admit that I am biassed. I like these personality quirks of his. I find them unique and appealing and they create the kinds of crazy conundrums and situations that entertain me from month to month. Tim, as I perceive him, is straight but rather awkward around the individuals that attract him. He does not require sexual attraction to obsess over something or someone--be it a case, his best friend, or his brother. On the contrary, his strongest and deepest relationships tend to be friendly and familial in nature, bred from pure admiration and shared combat as well as long history.
And these are the very people he is most comfortable embracing.
And there endeth my two cents.
A lot of talk about fangirl's tendency to view Tim as gay vs. Fabian Nicieza's plan to throw several women in Tim's direction all at once and make him something of an accidental player (and a straight one at that).
There have been many, many excellent jokes about this, and I have, for the most part, been LoLing about it. But this sort of thing also inevitably makes one think a little bit too. So without further adieu...
Some theories on Tim Drake and his love-life/virginity/intimacy issues...
1. I don't think it's just girls, and I don't think it's just sex. I think it's attention period. Kids tend to reflect the touchy-feeliness of their families. People from hugging families hug, etc. Now look at Tim's family. Tim's constantly-absent set of parents. Tim, as a general rule, is not used to hugs. Or kisses. Or having his cheeks pinched. Or being loved to the point where he is a priority. And by "used to" I mean he's not used to having these things done to him. These things make him the focus of attention. They make this stalking, hide-in-the-alley-with-his-camera, selfless sort of person into a priority, something more important than something else. Tim's not used to that. He's used to his parents' business trips coming first. He's used to the mission coming first. He's used to the team coming first. He's used to anything and everything coming first... except, of course, for Damian. (But that's a whole 'nother set of issues there.)
Even when Tim Drake-Wayne is in front of the cameras, giving press conferences, it's not really about *him*. It's about the mission, the company, the scandal, etc. Even when his father died, Tim went to the Titans and he didn't tell them squat. He didn't seek the pity/sympathy/kind words/hugs/attention... the team had to find out. It's not that Tim doesn't want attention. (He waited years for his father to see him for who he was; He welcomed the recognition of his talents from Dick and Bruce.)... he just doesn't expect to get it and therefore doesn't seek it, and is often surprised and a bit clueless regarding what to do, exactly, when he gets it. HIs tendency toward denial doesn't help him either. Even knowing through previous experiences that someone would care about his issues, sometimes Tim's habit of denial may keep him from truly recognizing the fact.
2. Tim tends to be a lot more comfortable when he is the one initiating something. But he's only going to initiate something if he knows it will be welcome. Like in Young Justice, shortly after Cassie started leading the team, when he's the one who brings up the fact that "Hey, leaders hug!" and he gives Cassie a much-needed leader-hug. Or at the Lazarus Pit... Dick may have been the one to suggest hugging it out, but Tim didn't initially let him do the hugging. Tim weighed his options, and then gave in and opened himself up for hugging. Or even that recent adorable and famous Kon hug--Tim started it. And he knew it was Kon, so though it might be surprising, it wouldn't be unwelcome. Tim also initiates Bruce hugs. Bruce may not be a big hugger, but Tim knows Bruce is not going to push him away. So they are rare and special moments where Tim is the catalyst.
But kissing and making out... you never know exactly what the other person's going to be okay with doing. Especially if you don't know them very well. And even if Tim does know someone well, he's going to over-think things. (He's Tim.) Also, Tim's serious about his relationships, romantic and otherwise, even though he screws them up sometimes by not knowing exactly where he stands. He's not really a casual person, just unschooled in the ways of close relationships that have nothing to do with fighting side-by-side. (As noted in the messy nature of his civilian friendships.) He's not gonna start anything with someone he hasn't known for a long time, and even then...
3. So this is possibly one of the crazy paradoxes that keeps Tim's virtue intact. He's not comfortable having a lot of physical/sexual pressure exerted on him, but he never assumes he can take any liberties. So he'd be more comfortable if he were the one to start sexual contact, but he's never about to start hardly any sexual contact. Voila. Perpetual purity. (And this is without really examining whatever moral views he may or may not have on the matter.)
4. Tim doesn't do peer pressure much. And even if he did, no one's really teasing him about his "manliness" or some such. The most he endures is Steph's little "boy virgin" crack from when they were dating. Fandom may raise a big stink about it, but when's the last time anybody in the actual comics criticized Tim for not dating someone? Or for being a virgin? Like it was something bad? And if they did, what are the chances that Tim would take that critique seriously? Tim may not be dating much, but he is very much living a full life. He has a dysfunctional but supportive family, he finally has his friends back and is seeing them as much as he can, and he is out every night saving lives. Romance is not even #10 on his priority list. Hasn't been since the 90's.
So even if DC decided to randomly throw the yaoi fanbase a bone, and decided to have Tim suddenly come out as bi, or even gay, after years of awkward straightness, and then have a bunch of guys suddenly throwing themselves at him Fabnick style... would Tim really act any differently? Would he suddenly stop being awkward and hesitant and transform into this cool, confident, and consistently laid guy?
Personally?
I kinda doubt it.
But I do freely admit that I am biassed. I like these personality quirks of his. I find them unique and appealing and they create the kinds of crazy conundrums and situations that entertain me from month to month. Tim, as I perceive him, is straight but rather awkward around the individuals that attract him. He does not require sexual attraction to obsess over something or someone--be it a case, his best friend, or his brother. On the contrary, his strongest and deepest relationships tend to be friendly and familial in nature, bred from pure admiration and shared combat as well as long history.
And these are the very people he is most comfortable embracing.
And there endeth my two cents.