Now if only I can continue to believe it!!!
I think i have finally come to a point where it's not about missing him. As it stands it's more about missing someone. I look at the empty seat on the couch, (or the seat that would be empty if my cats hadn't been more than willing to fill it), or the empty side of the bed (same scenario, just switch out cats for dog) and for the first time I don't dream wistfully that he was there to fill it. . . now i just wish it wasn't empty. I don't plan on jumping into anything anytime soon so I know that I will again learn to sleep in the middle of the bed (providing i can kick the dog to the floor). I will stretch across the couch. I will stay up late, get up early, leave my make-up out and watch all the chick flicks I want without having to hear the "come to bed" or "do we have to watch this?" etc. I will no longer be confronted with coming home after a long day and finding the aforementioned bed hog still a snooze with a glistening trail leading from his mouth to my newly washed pillow cases. I will walk away from this with the knowledge that when someone's habits and tendencies drive you to the point of insanity, love just isn't enough. I wont find the person I once was, because I'm not her anymore. I am a more enlightened version of her. One who, next time, will refuse to settle out of fear of being alone. I deserve all that I dream of and will find it. Man that felt good!!