Stay...
Twice in a single day Wesley had asked me if I had wanted him to stay, and twice I had replied with the answer I thought we both wanted to hear. After downstairs, and Charles, I had been so frightened of anything ever remotely resembling alone that the words had come tumbling out with a force I thought I had forgotten. And then, in the part after
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I tried to look away, but of course Cordy's eyes caught mine in that way she has, the one that always got the guys the melt, and then they would pretty much do whatever she wanted. Even when they didn't know what was happened. But I watched...I saw. It was a weapon she used as well as any other, and now it was directed at me. I finally managed to break away, not answering, and focusing my attention on my eggs.
A part of me totally wanted to tell Cprdy everything right then and there, but at the same time I was afraid of how the works might hurt...might physically hurt coming back up, scratching and pulling all the way.
And...when did I get this afraid. It really wasn't very fair of me, especially to them, and even more especially when I still had so much. We were all back, only this time it felt like it was without the benefit of a childhood. When we learn how to deal with all those hurts and scrapes and tears, and how to face the strength of our own emotions.
"We've been spending a lot of time together. And I'll echo your 'not really sure', I'm not either."
"Yes, well...at least there's time to be had. I guess sonner or later we should get around to being grateful, no matter what's happened so far."
And what will probally happen later.
"Do you like....I mean it it nice?"
Talking. Beacuse it's Cordy and because I can't help myself.
"He's the only man I've ever been with who dyes his hair more often than I do."
I nod, finally pushing away my plate entirely. This time it's my eyes that catch Cordy's own. "As long as you don't mind," I idley play with the fork before placing that down too.
"He makes...me makes all the hard edges softer. A little more liveable. I think I might already need him a bit more than is fair."
And there, we were both confessing things without really confessing at all, and speaking on what we both already knew.
"Your turn."
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