So this is where I am and here's to where I'm going.
I saw a psychiatrist on Friday. He was a very nice man who didn't tell me much of what I didn't know, but hearing my own thoughts repeated back to me by Someone Who Should Know What They're Doing was very helpful. I will not be going back to school next semester. I absolutely need that time to just work and live a life unclouded by the failure my schooling brings. He also made some great suggestions for when I come back to school, including taking much greater advantage of the independent study system here, since I obviously hate classes so.
The money thing is clearing up again. There isn't quite an end in sight yet, but it's getting there, closer.
The diet thing kind of died at launch. I'll keep trying. I'll walk more.
I talked to my mother today, about stress and not going back to school and life. She did not freak out at me, like last time I said I didn't want to go back to school. She was understanding, if hesitant. I think my mother has figured out that freaking out only stressed and paralyzed me more. Sometimes I forget how smart and wonderful my mother is. I want so much for her to be happy. I wish she had a better older daughter than me. Maybe Kaitlin can make her proud.
FAST workshops went very well, in my opinion. I am looking forward to poking at my play again and seeing how I can improve it more. Maybe it's time for full rewrite number three. Here's to seeing if this play really is cursed or not. Speaking of, I need to contact my directors and the people who volunteered to run the directors. FAST is getting so big so fast, with so many people. Oh my oh my.
For the first time in a long time, I feel relief. I have been holding on to this ball of stress and fear, and it's shut me off from so many people. And while the future right now is so uncertain, I feel like, at least, it might be better than where I am now. I have hope.
The money thing is clearing up again. There isn't quite an end in sight yet, but it's getting there, closer.
The diet thing kind of died at launch. I'll keep trying. I'll walk more.
I talked to my mother today, about stress and not going back to school and life. She did not freak out at me, like last time I said I didn't want to go back to school. She was understanding, if hesitant. I think my mother has figured out that freaking out only stressed and paralyzed me more. Sometimes I forget how smart and wonderful my mother is. I want so much for her to be happy. I wish she had a better older daughter than me. Maybe Kaitlin can make her proud.
FAST workshops went very well, in my opinion. I am looking forward to poking at my play again and seeing how I can improve it more. Maybe it's time for full rewrite number three. Here's to seeing if this play really is cursed or not. Speaking of, I need to contact my directors and the people who volunteered to run the directors. FAST is getting so big so fast, with so many people. Oh my oh my.
For the first time in a long time, I feel relief. I have been holding on to this ball of stress and fear, and it's shut me off from so many people. And while the future right now is so uncertain, I feel like, at least, it might be better than where I am now. I have hope.