现在我对日本人非常讨厌
In Japan I made quite a few connections. In my small town of Niigata I bonded with the entire community and befriended a plethora of people that included councilmen, the mayor, and the head of the PTA. I had my "connections" in Niigata, and in addition to that they became more than fellow acquaintances--they became family to me. It is no surprise that I didn't want our deep friendship to end with my farewell at the train station, so I wrote down e-mail addresses, jotted down mailing addresses and kept telephone numbers. I wanted to keep in touch no matter what the method, because these people are like my second family to me.
I often e-mail my acquaintances in Japan. One girl, for example, used to take me out for dinner every week and she would help with my Japanese. I went to her wedding. We celebrated our birthdays together. She felt like the one "true" friend I made in Nou.
I haven't talked to her for a year and her husband informed me that she had some illness. I became worried and decided to write her an email to "catch up" as well as confirm what type of illness she had.
My e-mail was about three paragraphs, which may be a bit long to some but after one year of silence I thought it would be a nice update entailing my life as well as ask about hers. I told her about my current situation and asked about her health, how life in Tokyo is, how her mother and brother is, what she is doing in Tokyo, does she go back to Nou often, and what has been up to in the last year. All quite valid and typical questions (in my opinion).
I opened my inbox to this email:
"Mary, my health is fine. Nothing serious, so please don't worry. It's too bad about you and Japan. Please take care of your health, too."
.............
......................
............................
....................................wtf.
Not only that, but "please take care of your health, too" is a nice translation. She merely said 体を気をつけてください, which is basically the platitude line that all Japanese people use at the end of their e-mails (i.e. has no real meaning, it's like saying 'best regards.')
I wanted to throw my computer and scream. You may be thinking: "My god Mary has such a terrible temper! She wrote a short e-mail, so what?"
This isn't the first time a Japanese 'friend' has written me a 2 sentence e-mail. In fact, this is probably the tenth time. Out of the hundreds of Japanese friends I have, do you know how many I keep in touch with? How many contact me once a month, once every half year, or heaven forbid even once a year?
ONE. ONE OUT OF THE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF JAPANESE PEOPLE I'VE HELPED, MET, AND BROUGHT INTO MY LIFE.
When I e-mail or inquire about how they are doing, all I get is this polite garbage that answers about zero of my questions that I inquired for. I want to know what they're doing, how they're doing and just about Japan overall. If you're only going to e-mail me one a year, can't you be a bit decent and make it one paragraph long? A two sentence reply to a three paragraph e-mail is just plain rude. If I ask you a question, fucking answer it.
Oh it fires me up just even typing about it. This only confirms all the awful stereotypes I keep spouting off about Japan. I truly connected with people in that country. The families in Niigata are like the relatives I never had, and the time I spent with them is the treasure of my life. The Japanese friends I made in Nagano, at the University of Utah, in Niigata, Tokyo... do they ever try to keep in touch with me? I don't even ask them to write me e-mails or send me letters, all I ask is for them to make a half-decent response when I make the first move to contact them--but I guess that is just too much to ask of such ice cold people.
I have been writing Japanese resume one after the other, preparing e-mails and sending them off to big companies in China, writing Japanese essays.... When I need someone to help me correct a grammar mistake or look over my resume, I have no one to contact. I have no good Japanese friend within my reach that I would feel comfortable asking for help. It's ridiculous. I majored in Japanese and lived over there for two years and what do I have to show for it, huh? What do I have to show for it?
A girl who betrayed me, used me for my English, took my boyfriend, a handful of friends that respond to me with 2 sentence platitudes, and an entire country of acquaintances that don't give a fuck about me?
Wonderful.
I have to ask my Chinese friends that can speak Japanese to review my Japanese letters. How sad is that? If I have a Chinese question, if I need help writing a resume or sending off a business letter in Chinese, I easily have ten people that would help me in a heartbeat.
I was so incredibly frustrated when I read that e-mail today, because it wasn't the first time. It makes me feel that all the kindness I received in that country was just an act of duty, some responsibility that they had to carry out as Japanese citizens rather than as a person who truly cared about me.
I still think about Miho's smile, but all the wickedness in her heart.
I'm done with that country.
I'm done.
I often e-mail my acquaintances in Japan. One girl, for example, used to take me out for dinner every week and she would help with my Japanese. I went to her wedding. We celebrated our birthdays together. She felt like the one "true" friend I made in Nou.
I haven't talked to her for a year and her husband informed me that she had some illness. I became worried and decided to write her an email to "catch up" as well as confirm what type of illness she had.
My e-mail was about three paragraphs, which may be a bit long to some but after one year of silence I thought it would be a nice update entailing my life as well as ask about hers. I told her about my current situation and asked about her health, how life in Tokyo is, how her mother and brother is, what she is doing in Tokyo, does she go back to Nou often, and what has been up to in the last year. All quite valid and typical questions (in my opinion).
I opened my inbox to this email:
"Mary, my health is fine. Nothing serious, so please don't worry. It's too bad about you and Japan. Please take care of your health, too."
.............
......................
............................
....................................wtf.
Not only that, but "please take care of your health, too" is a nice translation. She merely said 体を気をつけてください, which is basically the platitude line that all Japanese people use at the end of their e-mails (i.e. has no real meaning, it's like saying 'best regards.')
I wanted to throw my computer and scream. You may be thinking: "My god Mary has such a terrible temper! She wrote a short e-mail, so what?"
This isn't the first time a Japanese 'friend' has written me a 2 sentence e-mail. In fact, this is probably the tenth time. Out of the hundreds of Japanese friends I have, do you know how many I keep in touch with? How many contact me once a month, once every half year, or heaven forbid even once a year?
ONE. ONE OUT OF THE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF JAPANESE PEOPLE I'VE HELPED, MET, AND BROUGHT INTO MY LIFE.
When I e-mail or inquire about how they are doing, all I get is this polite garbage that answers about zero of my questions that I inquired for. I want to know what they're doing, how they're doing and just about Japan overall. If you're only going to e-mail me one a year, can't you be a bit decent and make it one paragraph long? A two sentence reply to a three paragraph e-mail is just plain rude. If I ask you a question, fucking answer it.
Oh it fires me up just even typing about it. This only confirms all the awful stereotypes I keep spouting off about Japan. I truly connected with people in that country. The families in Niigata are like the relatives I never had, and the time I spent with them is the treasure of my life. The Japanese friends I made in Nagano, at the University of Utah, in Niigata, Tokyo... do they ever try to keep in touch with me? I don't even ask them to write me e-mails or send me letters, all I ask is for them to make a half-decent response when I make the first move to contact them--but I guess that is just too much to ask of such ice cold people.
I have been writing Japanese resume one after the other, preparing e-mails and sending them off to big companies in China, writing Japanese essays.... When I need someone to help me correct a grammar mistake or look over my resume, I have no one to contact. I have no good Japanese friend within my reach that I would feel comfortable asking for help. It's ridiculous. I majored in Japanese and lived over there for two years and what do I have to show for it, huh? What do I have to show for it?
A girl who betrayed me, used me for my English, took my boyfriend, a handful of friends that respond to me with 2 sentence platitudes, and an entire country of acquaintances that don't give a fuck about me?
Wonderful.
I have to ask my Chinese friends that can speak Japanese to review my Japanese letters. How sad is that? If I have a Chinese question, if I need help writing a resume or sending off a business letter in Chinese, I easily have ten people that would help me in a heartbeat.
I was so incredibly frustrated when I read that e-mail today, because it wasn't the first time. It makes me feel that all the kindness I received in that country was just an act of duty, some responsibility that they had to carry out as Japanese citizens rather than as a person who truly cared about me.
I still think about Miho's smile, but all the wickedness in her heart.
I'm done with that country.
I'm done.