mars venus
Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk
One of the major points of Gray’s book is the difference in the way men and women react under stress. He believes that many men become focused and withdrawn, retreating to their “cave” where they can find a solution to the problem. Women, on the other hand, deal with stress by talking about the problem. Talk, for women, creates intimacy.
This difference leads to the the dynamic of the man retreating as the woman constantly tries to grow closer. As a result,this becomes a huge source of unnecessary tension in a relationship.
When the two begin to understand and accept each other’s differences, this tension will be released. Women will see that when a man goes into his cave, it is not a sign that he doesn’t love her. He’s just dealing with stress. Men will realize that when a woman is talking about her problems, it is not because he is failing her in some way, but that she just needs that release and will soon be back to normal when she feels she’s been heard.