The Chain [tag]
Some time later
As the group sat around and drank coffee in Central Perk, Phoebe suddenly asked, “You know what I miss?”
"Getting the morning paper every day?" Monica wondered. "American Idol?"
"Ooh, getting new fashion and celebrity gossip magazines every month," was Rachel's guess.
"What about new documentaries at the IMAX theater?" Ross asked. "Or the Internet?"
"How about the days when we used to sit around and not talk about what we miss?" Chandler said.
"Look," Joey argued, "the only thing worth missing more than anything else from before is a meatball sub. No question."
“Why would I ever miss that?” Phoebe asked. “I'm a vegetarian. Which actually worked out really well for me."
"Yeah, it sure did," Joey grumbled as he leaned back in his seat next to Rachel, then seeming like he'd already forgotten about his loss.
"And I'm glad you're all sharing, I really am," Phoebe went on, "but I believe we were talking about what I miss the most.”
“So, what do you miss, Pheebs?” Rachel asked.
After being lost in thought for a moment, Phoebe said, “Aw, I forgot what it was!”
Carol came in through the front door, saying hello to everyone, and handed Rachel a letter.
“Who’s it from?” Rachel asked.
Carol shrugged. “I just got it from a group that came over from Long Island. One of them said it was from a friend of yours. Some guy named Charlie? I don't know." She headed over to the counter to get herself a cup of coffee.
“Oh, Charlie!” Rachel said, grinning as she opened the letter. “She says 'hi,' and she’s coming here in a week. She… Oh, no.” Rachel covered her mouth with her hand. “She still hasn’t found Benji.”
The group looked appropriately despondent. That is, until Ross said, “So you think that means she’s ready to start dating again?”
Everyone else groaned.
“Come on, Ross,” Phoebe said. “You could be a little more sensitive about it. When she gets here, ask her if she’s into threesomes!”
“You’re not gonna have a problem with that, are you?” Rachel asked Joey quietly.
He grinned. “Not if you are,” he said, and leaned in for a kiss.
“Okay, that’s still weird to watch, by the way,” Monica said.
“Yeah,” Chandler said. “You know, if you really think about it, we make one awful group of friends.”
Just then, the front door slammed open, and Frank stumbled in, panting and gasping out, “Pheebs, Pheebs! Zombies. They're coming!”
“That’s what I miss!” Phoebe said.
Monica looked at her in alarm, then asked Frank, “How far are they from here?"
“About two blocks away, but they’ll get here in about…” Frank paused to calculate for a moment. “Ten minutes."
"Ten minutes?" Rachel said, looking disappointed. "Wow, they really aren't what they used to be these days."
"I wouldn't underestimate this group," Frank said. "All the kids got, like, half of them already, but the rest are still going strong. And there are a buttload of ‘em. Think you all can handle it?”
Phoebe laughed. “Please.” Without batting an eye, she and her friends reached under their chairs for their weapons and started loading them with cartridges, shells, and bullets.
“Wait,” Chandler said as they started to get up, and everyone paused. “Let’s think about this for a moment. There aren't that many of them left, and they probably know, on some level, that they don’t have the upper hand anymore. Maybe they’re here for, y’know, a truce or something. Maybe... Maybe they even want to be friends.”
After a lengthy pause in which the group considered that possibility, they shook their heads, and, in unison, said:
“Nah.”
Then they all got up and went outside to fight the oncoming army of ugly naked zombies.