My First Harry Potter Fanfic on LJ
A/N: All the strange words Luna uses are real words, with meanings at the bottom.
Nothing ever happens like you expect it to.
I’ve known that since I was very small. All children have beliefs and expectations that never come to pass. I expected my peers would see all the things me and my mother could see, but mentioning the creatures that were so precious to me seemed to only get weird stares and people backing away slowly.
Everyone who knew the basic facts and had been around the main players in this war had some idea how it would pan out. Hermione and Ron were the first to be paired up, because arguing all the time simply has to be a sure sign of sexual attraction. Then, when the matchmaker saw that Harry was left as a third wheel, so to speak, they paired him up with Ron’s little sister. I personally cannot see the reasoning behind it, most people have more ‘older brother’ feelings towards their best mates little sister, which is precisely how Harry feels, some of the time I think. Also, as someone who has hated the fame thrust upon him by the wizarding world, why would he date a girl who had a crush on him since before she knew him? No, it was quite clear to me that if Harry ever found someone, they would have been sensible enough to see past the image the media had created to the person inside, which is exactly what happened.
I can’t say that Harry and Severus aren’t a strange pair. Now, at the one year anniversary of the defeat of Voldemort, you wouldn’t think they had anything to do with each other; they just happened to be sitting on a sofa next to each other, talking to different people, seemingly not even acknowledging each other’s presence.
But then you look again, and see that in the twenty or so centimetre gap between them, their hands are just touching. Not caressing, or holding hands (neither of them are very touchy-feely) but touching, taking comfort that the other is most definitely there.
No-one really has any idea how they got together either. Perhaps they bonded over talks over hobbledehoy, but most people would have thought that if Harry ever tried that, Severus would think he’d gone completely barking mad and tried to ‘put him out of his misery’ with a snickersnee, of which there are many in the potions classroom, and probably many more, much bigger ones in Severus’s private lab.
I’m not sure that even Harry and Severus are clear on the details of what happened, only that on Nut-Crack-Night in his sixth year, Harry didn’t come back from detention and arrived at the breakfast table with a slight limp. I, of course, immediately realised his problem and gave him a catalogue I happened to have on me at the time, and told him of the company’s privacy policy, and how, if he wanted, the packages could be delivered later in the day (not breakfast).
Their relationship was never announced, there were never any sudden confessions of love at the breakfast table, and word got out so slowly that the prophet never saw an opportune moment to announce it, and therefore never did. The sneaky bastards.
At the moment, Harry is in the middle of a conversation with Ginny Weasley, who Pansy Parkinson seems desperate to engage with in cataglottism. Ginny probably won’t last very long. Ginny and Pansy were probably another big surprise for the person playing matchmaker, but not for anyone paying proper attention. It was pretty obvious to most that Ginny was looking in the same direction as her brothers, and not at her brother’s friends. However, even if one was bi, I think that having all the males you know being close friends with one if not two of your brothers would be quite a turn-off, for fear of hurting the boy’s and therefore your brother’s feelings. And even if the matchmaker was aware that Ginny had her own eyes (and she would look wherever she damned well please) they probably wouldn’t have paired her up with Pansy Parkinson, the Slytherin exhibitionist. However, the proof is in the pudding, and I’m standing by the doorway looking at Pansy, who is proving herself to be quite the gynotikolobomassophile, which is causing Ginny to show signs of apodysophilia and I’m certain she has no idea what Harry is saying. Not that he’s noticed, because Ginny and Pansy’s relationship is the complete opposite of Harry and Severus’s, the girls seem to either be obsessed with putting on a show for everyone, or so wrapped up in each other that they just forget there are other people in the world other than themselves, something I myself occasionally do. However, we are now all so used to Ginny and Pansy’s antics, that Harry probably doesn’t realise that Ginny has no idea what they’ve been talking about and probably doesn’t care, the poor jobbernowl.
Severus, on the other hand, seems to be having more luck with the art of loquence, his conversation partners being Fred and George Weasley. The two of them were (I think) expected to finally end up with two of the girls from the Gryffindoor Quiddich team, but I think, that after sharing their entire lives together, it was always doubtful that would ever happen, they’re too close, too close for even a partner to be more important than the other twin, whoever it was would have just got sick of being second best and left. But they seem happy. Sometimes they bring someone with them to get-togethers, never the same person in a row though, and they never specify which twin the person is dating. Most of the sensible, rational thinking people have guessed that they share.
Speaking of sensible, rational thinking people, here comes the sensible and rational king and queen. Hermione Lupin and her husband have arrived. I personally, never thought of Hermione as sensible and rational, she seemed quite excessive and shrill to me, and it is very hard calming her down once she’s got upset over completely irrational things. I think she suffers from bibliomania and ergomania to tell you the truth. However, Remus does seem to be able to calm her, and be a voice of reason when no-one else can. It most likely comes from her idiotic idea that people who are older always know more, which she seems to have mostly grown out of now, but leaving Remus as one of the most respected people in her eyes. It’s not her fault, he’s one of the most respected people in most people’s eyes.
Ron however (Hermione’s ‘soul mate’) ended up with a slightly less . . . out there choice of partner. Those two were never really going to cause much of stir, but that is essentially what Ron probably wanted deep down (really . . . deep . . . down). However, he did get quite excited when he realised that an older girl was interested in him. Angelina Johnson, who, when she graduated before Ron (causing many dramatic and ‘much needed’ snogging sessions whenever they came across each other in the hall, for two weeks before she left. Two very long weeks,) became chaser for Chudley Cannons, was proposed to about a month later and they are due to be married in about two months. (Mrs Weasley has been warned to stay away from everyone involved in decoration, dresses, place settings, weather charms . . . basically anyone whose job involves anything artistic.)
Sirius Black, after seven years in school jokingly flirting with her, realised, half way through the second coming of Voldemort, that he actually was in love with her, and started chasing her in earnest. Of course, there was very little difference in how he acted around her after his revelation, so it was another month before he went complaining to Moony about how his charms had worn off, before he was finally pointed in the right direction (acting like a sane adult).
Even now, if you didn’t know them, you’d think he was still chasing her, what with the frequent innuendos that have the whole room groaning and the mock-despair when she simply rolled her eyes and continued ignoring him. Even so, as with the rest of the couples, Minerva and Sirius do truly love each other. (Despite him still insisting on calling her ‘Minnie’)
And as for me? Well . . .
“Ahh, there you are darling, would you like a lemon drop?”
GLOSSARY
Hobbledehoy - A clumsy or awkward youth. *
Snickersnee - A large knife.
Nut-Crack-Night - Halloween.
Cataglottism - Kissing with the tongue.
Gynotikolobomassophile - One who nibbles on women’s earlobes.
Apodysophilia - The feverish desire to take one’s clothes off. (Sounds like the bland sort of explanation Dumbledoor would give before offering a lemon drop. Btw, ‘Dumbledoor’ is a type of bee.)
Jobbernowl - A stupid person, a blockhead.
Loquence - speech.
Bibliomania - Craze for books or reading.
Ergomania - Excessive desire to work, workaholism.
*technically this could mean two things,
a. A clumsy / awkward person (youth)
b. A clumsy / awkward period in one’s life (youth)
OMG look at all the incomprehensible tags!! Its going to ruin my tag page. Damn you HP fandom and your shortenings. Damn you!
Nothing ever happens like you expect it to.
I’ve known that since I was very small. All children have beliefs and expectations that never come to pass. I expected my peers would see all the things me and my mother could see, but mentioning the creatures that were so precious to me seemed to only get weird stares and people backing away slowly.
Everyone who knew the basic facts and had been around the main players in this war had some idea how it would pan out. Hermione and Ron were the first to be paired up, because arguing all the time simply has to be a sure sign of sexual attraction. Then, when the matchmaker saw that Harry was left as a third wheel, so to speak, they paired him up with Ron’s little sister. I personally cannot see the reasoning behind it, most people have more ‘older brother’ feelings towards their best mates little sister, which is precisely how Harry feels, some of the time I think. Also, as someone who has hated the fame thrust upon him by the wizarding world, why would he date a girl who had a crush on him since before she knew him? No, it was quite clear to me that if Harry ever found someone, they would have been sensible enough to see past the image the media had created to the person inside, which is exactly what happened.
I can’t say that Harry and Severus aren’t a strange pair. Now, at the one year anniversary of the defeat of Voldemort, you wouldn’t think they had anything to do with each other; they just happened to be sitting on a sofa next to each other, talking to different people, seemingly not even acknowledging each other’s presence.
But then you look again, and see that in the twenty or so centimetre gap between them, their hands are just touching. Not caressing, or holding hands (neither of them are very touchy-feely) but touching, taking comfort that the other is most definitely there.
No-one really has any idea how they got together either. Perhaps they bonded over talks over hobbledehoy, but most people would have thought that if Harry ever tried that, Severus would think he’d gone completely barking mad and tried to ‘put him out of his misery’ with a snickersnee, of which there are many in the potions classroom, and probably many more, much bigger ones in Severus’s private lab.
I’m not sure that even Harry and Severus are clear on the details of what happened, only that on Nut-Crack-Night in his sixth year, Harry didn’t come back from detention and arrived at the breakfast table with a slight limp. I, of course, immediately realised his problem and gave him a catalogue I happened to have on me at the time, and told him of the company’s privacy policy, and how, if he wanted, the packages could be delivered later in the day (not breakfast).
Their relationship was never announced, there were never any sudden confessions of love at the breakfast table, and word got out so slowly that the prophet never saw an opportune moment to announce it, and therefore never did. The sneaky bastards.
At the moment, Harry is in the middle of a conversation with Ginny Weasley, who Pansy Parkinson seems desperate to engage with in cataglottism. Ginny probably won’t last very long. Ginny and Pansy were probably another big surprise for the person playing matchmaker, but not for anyone paying proper attention. It was pretty obvious to most that Ginny was looking in the same direction as her brothers, and not at her brother’s friends. However, even if one was bi, I think that having all the males you know being close friends with one if not two of your brothers would be quite a turn-off, for fear of hurting the boy’s and therefore your brother’s feelings. And even if the matchmaker was aware that Ginny had her own eyes (and she would look wherever she damned well please) they probably wouldn’t have paired her up with Pansy Parkinson, the Slytherin exhibitionist. However, the proof is in the pudding, and I’m standing by the doorway looking at Pansy, who is proving herself to be quite the gynotikolobomassophile, which is causing Ginny to show signs of apodysophilia and I’m certain she has no idea what Harry is saying. Not that he’s noticed, because Ginny and Pansy’s relationship is the complete opposite of Harry and Severus’s, the girls seem to either be obsessed with putting on a show for everyone, or so wrapped up in each other that they just forget there are other people in the world other than themselves, something I myself occasionally do. However, we are now all so used to Ginny and Pansy’s antics, that Harry probably doesn’t realise that Ginny has no idea what they’ve been talking about and probably doesn’t care, the poor jobbernowl.
Severus, on the other hand, seems to be having more luck with the art of loquence, his conversation partners being Fred and George Weasley. The two of them were (I think) expected to finally end up with two of the girls from the Gryffindoor Quiddich team, but I think, that after sharing their entire lives together, it was always doubtful that would ever happen, they’re too close, too close for even a partner to be more important than the other twin, whoever it was would have just got sick of being second best and left. But they seem happy. Sometimes they bring someone with them to get-togethers, never the same person in a row though, and they never specify which twin the person is dating. Most of the sensible, rational thinking people have guessed that they share.
Speaking of sensible, rational thinking people, here comes the sensible and rational king and queen. Hermione Lupin and her husband have arrived. I personally, never thought of Hermione as sensible and rational, she seemed quite excessive and shrill to me, and it is very hard calming her down once she’s got upset over completely irrational things. I think she suffers from bibliomania and ergomania to tell you the truth. However, Remus does seem to be able to calm her, and be a voice of reason when no-one else can. It most likely comes from her idiotic idea that people who are older always know more, which she seems to have mostly grown out of now, but leaving Remus as one of the most respected people in her eyes. It’s not her fault, he’s one of the most respected people in most people’s eyes.
Ron however (Hermione’s ‘soul mate’) ended up with a slightly less . . . out there choice of partner. Those two were never really going to cause much of stir, but that is essentially what Ron probably wanted deep down (really . . . deep . . . down). However, he did get quite excited when he realised that an older girl was interested in him. Angelina Johnson, who, when she graduated before Ron (causing many dramatic and ‘much needed’ snogging sessions whenever they came across each other in the hall, for two weeks before she left. Two very long weeks,) became chaser for Chudley Cannons, was proposed to about a month later and they are due to be married in about two months. (Mrs Weasley has been warned to stay away from everyone involved in decoration, dresses, place settings, weather charms . . . basically anyone whose job involves anything artistic.)
Sirius Black, after seven years in school jokingly flirting with her, realised, half way through the second coming of Voldemort, that he actually was in love with her, and started chasing her in earnest. Of course, there was very little difference in how he acted around her after his revelation, so it was another month before he went complaining to Moony about how his charms had worn off, before he was finally pointed in the right direction (acting like a sane adult).
Even now, if you didn’t know them, you’d think he was still chasing her, what with the frequent innuendos that have the whole room groaning and the mock-despair when she simply rolled her eyes and continued ignoring him. Even so, as with the rest of the couples, Minerva and Sirius do truly love each other. (Despite him still insisting on calling her ‘Minnie’)
And as for me? Well . . .
“Ahh, there you are darling, would you like a lemon drop?”
GLOSSARY
Hobbledehoy - A clumsy or awkward youth. *
Snickersnee - A large knife.
Nut-Crack-Night - Halloween.
Cataglottism - Kissing with the tongue.
Gynotikolobomassophile - One who nibbles on women’s earlobes.
Apodysophilia - The feverish desire to take one’s clothes off. (Sounds like the bland sort of explanation Dumbledoor would give before offering a lemon drop. Btw, ‘Dumbledoor’ is a type of bee.)
Jobbernowl - A stupid person, a blockhead.
Loquence - speech.
Bibliomania - Craze for books or reading.
Ergomania - Excessive desire to work, workaholism.
*technically this could mean two things,
a. A clumsy / awkward person (youth)
b. A clumsy / awkward period in one’s life (youth)
OMG look at all the incomprehensible tags!! Its going to ruin my tag page. Damn you HP fandom and your shortenings. Damn you!