215: Early Sunday morning
Isabel woke sometime in the wee hours of the morning, blinking in confusion that turned into a smile when she realised where she was.
She disentangled herself from Jack - who grumbled a protest, but relaxed when she whispered that it was okay - and carefully guided him down, tucking a pillow under his head and pulling the blanket over him. As she left the room, she flicked off the light and closed the door quietly behind her, leaving him in darkness.
And he dreamed...
The middle of a desert - maybe not the middle, but close enough to it that there was no sign of anything but desert - and he was alone, bare feet burning on the hot sand.
A shadow passed over him and he looked up to find…nothing.
Sighing deeply, he shook his head in resignation. "This is another dream, isn't it?" he asked the empty air.
"It is."
The voice came from behind him and it did not sound happy. Jack whirled and came face to muzzle with a blue eyed rabbit in a long black coat. " You again."
"Me, yes." It twitched its nose once, paws tightening around the long stick it held. "I'm always me. But who are you?"
Jack grinned, remembering their first encounter. "I thought names weren't important?"
He barely managed to duck out of the way as the rabbit swung its stick at him.
"Whoa! What was that for?" he asked as he scrambled backwards, away from the crazy rabbit.
It bared its teeth. "Because you're wasting this, Jack who might not be Jack."
If anyone had told Jack he'd be afraid of a rabbit, he'd have laughed. But this rabbit -- taller than he was and glaring at him out of cold blue eyes, echoing thoughts he'd barely acknowledged having -- killed any urge to laughter.
He swallowed once and looked away.
"I thought so," the rabbit said, sounding satisfied. "You know it yourself. You'll never grow into it at this rate."
Suddenly he was clad in the coat his older self had left him, only it was huge, the arms dangling down to the ground, the end trailing out behind him; he was draped in cloth, he was swimming in it. "It didn't used to be this big."
"No. It didn't." The rabbit twitched its nose and sighed, ears flat back against its head. "You have learned -- hard lessons -- but that doesn't mean you can wallow in them."
"Hey, I don't wallow!"
"No?" Jack hadn't known rabbits even had eyebrows, much less ones that could be arched pointedly. "Shall we see?"
There was a paw on his head and he was flat on his back, watching the memories roll out of him. Swirling through the air like ripples of heat.
... fighting with Jarod, hurt and using Parker as a weapon, then Cedric and Sam, and he should never have doubted either of them... the dance, and things were simple, black and white and shades of grey resolving into shocking pink... sing ing and drinking and singing some more... and just them, all of them, swirling past, smiles and laughter and he didn't have to think, he could just be...
"It's not enough to merely be. You have to do." The rabbit held up a hand, and they paused, hovering above him. "These. These are good."
... Parker, and holding her together while she bent but never broke... himself and taking his leave of them...choices made and le ss on s lear ned and practiced... family that was and family that was n't...
It dropped its hand and the memories flowed once more, wreathing both of them in a mist of images. "And you see here?" The images froze.
... Sam going into danger... disappearing in a flash of light...
"What would you have done, had she depended on you?"
"But she came back safe--" The rabbit glared at him and he subsided.
"And this--"
Jack knew what was coming.
... Isabel, and lashing out at her, abandoning her, biting at Sam, sniping with no reason, hiding in a bottle...
"They did depend on you, looked to you for aid and support. And you let them down. You wallowed."
He had to look away. " They got over it," he muttered, but there was no heat in it.
The rabbit nodded once. "I understand," it said gently as they faded, leaving Jack staring up into the blinding sun. "And you've not done badly, but you need to learn." It leaned over him, something like compassion on its face. "Time passes, whether you're with it or not. Everything changes. The life you want to live will not forgive easily, and you need to be ready."
"I know."
"Good." It turned to leave, taking on the silvery shimmer of the air around them.
"Can I ask a question?"
It turned back, one ear held high, head cocked as it waited.
Jack grinned and asked, "Why a rabbit?"
The rabbit grinned back. "Why not?"
And Jack was awake, gasping for breath as he sat up. The first hint of pre-dawn light was sneaking in from behind the curtain, and he shivered in the morning's chill. Shivered again before getting up, pulling on a sweater, and padding over to set the kettle to boil. He leaned on the edge of the bar fridge, watching the steam curl into the air as the water neared boiling.
Several minutes later, cup of coffee in hand, he pulled open the curtains and returned to bed.
He didn't sleep, though.
Instead he sat, drinking coffee and thinking while he watched the sun rise. And when it was something approaching a reasonable hour, he made a phone call.
[ooc: Isabel modded with permission.]
She disentangled herself from Jack - who grumbled a protest, but relaxed when she whispered that it was okay - and carefully guided him down, tucking a pillow under his head and pulling the blanket over him. As she left the room, she flicked off the light and closed the door quietly behind her, leaving him in darkness.
And he dreamed...
The middle of a desert - maybe not the middle, but close enough to it that there was no sign of anything but desert - and he was alone, bare feet burning on the hot sand.
A shadow passed over him and he looked up to find…nothing.
Sighing deeply, he shook his head in resignation. "This is another dream, isn't it?" he asked the empty air.
"It is."
The voice came from behind him and it did not sound happy. Jack whirled and came face to muzzle with a blue eyed rabbit in a long black coat. " You again."
"Me, yes." It twitched its nose once, paws tightening around the long stick it held. "I'm always me. But who are you?"
Jack grinned, remembering their first encounter. "I thought names weren't important?"
He barely managed to duck out of the way as the rabbit swung its stick at him.
"Whoa! What was that for?" he asked as he scrambled backwards, away from the crazy rabbit.
It bared its teeth. "Because you're wasting this, Jack who might not be Jack."
If anyone had told Jack he'd be afraid of a rabbit, he'd have laughed. But this rabbit -- taller than he was and glaring at him out of cold blue eyes, echoing thoughts he'd barely acknowledged having -- killed any urge to laughter.
He swallowed once and looked away.
"I thought so," the rabbit said, sounding satisfied. "You know it yourself. You'll never grow into it at this rate."
Suddenly he was clad in the coat his older self had left him, only it was huge, the arms dangling down to the ground, the end trailing out behind him; he was draped in cloth, he was swimming in it. "It didn't used to be this big."
"No. It didn't." The rabbit twitched its nose and sighed, ears flat back against its head. "You have learned -- hard lessons -- but that doesn't mean you can wallow in them."
"Hey, I don't wallow!"
"No?" Jack hadn't known rabbits even had eyebrows, much less ones that could be arched pointedly. "Shall we see?"
There was a paw on his head and he was flat on his back, watching the memories roll out of him. Swirling through the air like ripples of heat.
... fighting with Jarod, hurt and using Parker as a weapon, then Cedric and Sam, and he should never have doubted either of them... the dance, and things were simple, black and white and shades of grey resolving into shocking pink... sing ing and drinking and singing some more... and just them, all of them, swirling past, smiles and laughter and he didn't have to think, he could just be...
"It's not enough to merely be. You have to do." The rabbit held up a hand, and they paused, hovering above him. "These. These are good."
... Parker, and holding her together while she bent but never broke... himself and taking his leave of them...choices made and le ss on s lear ned and practiced... family that was and family that was n't...
It dropped its hand and the memories flowed once more, wreathing both of them in a mist of images. "And you see here?" The images froze.
... Sam going into danger... disappearing in a flash of light...
"What would you have done, had she depended on you?"
"But she came back safe--" The rabbit glared at him and he subsided.
"And this--"
Jack knew what was coming.
... Isabel, and lashing out at her, abandoning her, biting at Sam, sniping with no reason, hiding in a bottle...
"They did depend on you, looked to you for aid and support. And you let them down. You wallowed."
He had to look away. " They got over it," he muttered, but there was no heat in it.
The rabbit nodded once. "I understand," it said gently as they faded, leaving Jack staring up into the blinding sun. "And you've not done badly, but you need to learn." It leaned over him, something like compassion on its face. "Time passes, whether you're with it or not. Everything changes. The life you want to live will not forgive easily, and you need to be ready."
"I know."
"Good." It turned to leave, taking on the silvery shimmer of the air around them.
"Can I ask a question?"
It turned back, one ear held high, head cocked as it waited.
Jack grinned and asked, "Why a rabbit?"
The rabbit grinned back. "Why not?"
And Jack was awake, gasping for breath as he sat up. The first hint of pre-dawn light was sneaking in from behind the curtain, and he shivered in the morning's chill. Shivered again before getting up, pulling on a sweater, and padding over to set the kettle to boil. He leaned on the edge of the bar fridge, watching the steam curl into the air as the water neared boiling.
Several minutes later, cup of coffee in hand, he pulled open the curtains and returned to bed.
He didn't sleep, though.
Instead he sat, drinking coffee and thinking while he watched the sun rise. And when it was something approaching a reasonable hour, he made a phone call.
[ooc: Isabel modded with permission.]