565: Life Changes...
And hasn't that been the story of my life this past semester? I am sorry, LJ, I have been very in-and-out (and not in teh good way) recently... it's partly 'cause so much shit has been going down, and part of the reason is my utter lack of focus. This leads me to my most recent bit of news.
I'm transferring to Sac State.
You may find yourself asking things such as: but what aboot that liberal arts college you go to?! Aren't you pretty much half-done? Weren't you gonna go to France? Didn't you go down there because you *didn't* want to go to Sac State?
All very legitimate questions, LJers, allow me to explain: I have just come to the realization that I'm not really happy down here and I never really was. Sure, I met some awesome people, school was even going alright for a while, there was the newspaper and my Lesbian Husband. I was learning French... not Italian, like I wanted, but it was going alright.
Then I went back to Sac for a summer, and a Christmas break, and a Spring break, 'cause I missed it so much... and this only accerbated how much I wanted to be *there* and not *here*. The fact that I can't get by without a car down here, but I can in Sac didn't help my bitterness...
Also: discovered sex, and that's always distracting. But the above missing of my hometown also contributed to my realization that this place isn't inspiring me, and this semester I have found it impossible to focus on my academics.
ALSO also: I'm not really getting what I want, academically, either, which makes it unforgivable. English is a bust; and French is great and all, but I want more than just that... Italian, say. Maybe some more linguistics, definitely translation. Sac State can offer me that *and* the midtown scene I love and unbearably miss. And Sacramento inspires me. Maybe I could actually write again...
I'm ambivalent, at best, aboot my future here. Going back to Sac... that's an exciting prospect, and even if it ends up blowing, heck, I'll just go to Portland. XP
I've stagnated here, and it's not going in a direction I feel passionate aboot anymore. SoCal and Whittier are all fine and dandy... but I just feel like it's not where I want to be.
So, starting this fall, that's what I'll be doing and where I'll be. And it brings a smile to my face. :)