excuse me while my head and it's thoughts make me throw up my heart
it's such a shitty feeling, to have everyone against you, to be lied to by what you think are friends, and to be untrusted by that one person you care about the most, it hurts to be denied and avoided and pushed aside. i just want things to be normal for once. what am i doing wrong, i feel like i'm always the only one trying ever and it doesn't make sense to me why i don't just give it up. i always say "things will get better, it's just a shitty time right now" but shit never gets better, it gets ignored for a while, but nothing ever changes. i feel so lifeless, so unwanted i feel like i don't belong around these people. like i'm clueless and i'm suposed to know what to do next, but instead i sit here and wait for someone to tell me, i'm lost and confused and people just look down at me like i'm a fucking idiot instead of trying to help. god, i'm so sick of people in general. i just wish they would all leave me alone or just shut the fuck up. sometimes i wish I would shut the fuck up. jesus i'm even annoyed with myself.