la tímida aurora de tus células (2/3)
✶❊✶
It’s a quiet Saturday, afternoon according to the clock in the hallway. He knocks on Lu Han’s room, but there’s no answer. Minseok wonders if he’s working today too. He still manages to get lost sometimes, but after a quick look at the hologram, he remembers exactly where Lu Han’s office is located. He takes the elevator to the topmost level, making a left at the exit. He passes by a group of people, they're probably on their way to go eat. They wave at him when Minseok slips past them, but he's too distracted to do anything except nod. The small office Lu Han was given is at the very end of the hall.
Minseok stops at the door when he sees it's open slightly. He peeks inside, and sure enough, Lu Han is sitting at a workbench, hunched over, head low. Minseok knocks lightly, laughing a little when he sees Lu Han jump in surprise.
"Stalking?" Lu Han relaxes when he sees Minseok, "I didn't expect this from you. Does this make me the pretty love interest or?"
Minseok just rolls his eyes, pushing inside. Lu Han has taken recently to teasing him more. He doesn't exactly hate it if he's being honest. The lighting is dimmed, because of the little heated bulbs set up on the worktable. There are glass vials too, measuring utensils, and goggles. Minseok forgets that Lu Han's own field involves a lot of biochemistry too. His own involves math, but it's always the same set of formulas, differing data and answers all situational. He takes a seat next to Lu Han, watching him write down numbers, placing what seems to be a thermometer into a container with dirt.
"I'm checking oxygen levels," his answer comes to Minseok's unspoken curiosity.
"Ahh," Minseok replies distracted. Lu Han's movements are precise, small but sure. There's concentration causing his eyebrows to furrow, and there are little indentions in his nose. Minseok files this observation away. He's fascinated.
"You kind of look like this too," Lu Han says finally putting his things down, "when you're working, your face crinkles up."
Minseok touches his face, fingers trying to feel for any premature wrinkles.
"Don't worry," Lu Han pokes his cheek with an ungloved hand, "it's pretty cute. I mean I guess, if you're into the sparkly love interest thing--" Lu Han finishes awkwardly, turning away. He even forces a cough.
Minseok lets his laughter fill the room, and Lu Han turns back to him. He's laughing too, entire body reacting to his facial expressions. He's not exactly pretty when he laughs, but it's contagious and it fills Minseok with warmth.
"When I was little," He's hiccuping from laughter, "I would always play around in my backyard, well kind of, see we didn't have anywhere to live so I would spend a lot of time collecting 'space dirt', I got in trouble for selling it at school. At least they didn't take away the money I had made. It was like ten bucks."
Minseok grins, "So you were a con artist as a kid?"
"Barely," Lu Han's words are a half yawn, "my dad lost his job after the company went bankrupt, and even though I was like what," he pauses counting his fingers, "Ten? I wanted to help out." His eyes are a little glazed over with remembering, voice the tiniest bit wet.
"Did you guys--" Minseok tentatively follows up with a question. Lu Han has never talked about his feelings. Things that creep close to who he is, where he comes from besides the satisfactory preamble to an introduction. It isn't hard to guess how Lu Han feels most of the time, but it is difficult to know what's behind all of it. Minseok isn't that talkative either, but with Lu Han, it feels like he's opened up. A lot more than he's used to, but always at his own pace. Maybe Lu Han was waiting for Minseok to push him a little.
"Did we get better?" Lu Han looks at him directly, profile outlined in the dimness, hands in his pockets. He's retreating a little, back into himself. He tilts his head back, as if the ceiling might hold the answers. Or maybe it's the universal, asking the heavens for a helping hand. Past the Earth's atmosphere, no blue sky in sight-- it's just eternal darkness. It's hard to imagine gods even exist. A god willing. A god that is good.
"Yes," Lu Han breathes, "but my parents are back in Beijing. Living the in the lap of luxury. A real Christmas miracle, you know?"
And there's a strange bitterness to his words.
"But I'm living," Lu Han's voice returns to it's previous lightness, "living. I try to understand, but it's hard when I can't talk to them, I guess."
Minseok nods by default, but he can only try to sympathize. He gets along with his parents, and they've always shown him support. The difference has, and probably will always be, is that him and Lu Han have fundamentally different lived experiences.
But that's part of the human experience. Right?
Lu Han starts putting thing away, Minseok watches him, scampering back and forth, fussing with everything.
"So why this?" Minseok finally asks. They've never talked about this, and Minseok wants to know. He also likes the way Lu Han's voice sounds. When he's talking without any care for who might listen. He always makes Minseok feel like they're the only ones existing in that instant.
"I don't know," Lu Han laughs, suddenly shy, "I think the Atlantis was sent to space when I was about five. We were still in China at the time."
Minseok tries to not smile, "Me too."
"Yeah?"
"Mhm," Minseok smiles to himself. He doesn't exactly believe in things like destiny, but he does think coincidences happen in the oddest ways. He just doesn't like the idea of being tied to a path, not having a choice in what he wants to do. He thinks it's silly, almost.
“I’m glad then,” Lu Han quietly answers.
✶❊✶
Minseok is sitting by himself in one of the dining areas, but he isn’t having a very good day. He had woken up too late, missed a class, and now there’s a sour feeling settled into his stomach. It’s ominous, the kind that meant he was going to get in trouble as a kid. Leo and Sojin are oddly missing, their company would’ve been comforting. Lu Han is no where to be seen.
Max makes his way over to him, taking the seat next to Minseok’s. He’s all smiles, one of the seniors in his department--handsome if Minseok wants to admit it. Minseok has talked to Lu Han about him, the respect and admiration. It’s hard to keep out of his voice. Their interactions are limited to Minseok sitting in on the lectures he sometimes gives.
"If you like him so much, why don't you talk to him?" Lu Han had suggested. Advice with too much bite.
Minseok had felt it, and after Lu Han had begun to open up, it’s easier to read his intentions. The smiles, always loud and open laughter--easy to see the tiredness in his eyes too.
"Hey, is it okay if I sit here?" He asks now, already taking the spot. Minseok holds his breath almost too nervous. And Max talks, a lot. He's the kind of person who asks questions to further his own praises. Its a little mind numbing, but Minseok can't even get a word in. Tiresome.
He thinks about leaving, but Lu Han shows up then.
"Hey," He says sitting right across from Minseok. He's sweating, wrist swollen.
"I'm Max," he says introducing himself, not really waiting for Minseok to do so.
"Lu Han," Lu Han returns in lieu of introduction, giving Max his hand.
"Is your wrist okay?" Minseok is already reaching over, placing his fingers over the swollen limb. He sees the wince.
"Bees."
Minseok’s glad Lu Han isn't allergic. He make them head back to Lu Han's room after he notices the discomfort. A quick apology to Max, who waves them off with a smirk.
"I don't think bees like you."
"But you like me," he says, turning shining eyes on Minseok. He's adamant about not looking at the sun directly, but Lu Han always has to be the exception. He sneaks a look back at Lu Han, but he's looking down at Minseok applying the ice to his wrist. His hair is really soft looking today. He must've showered that morning. Lu Han asks him about his day, but he doesn't push when he realizes Minseok's mood.
"Let's do something tonight."
Minseok finds himself agreeing. Stomach still twisting.
Life on the ship has become the most natural thing to exist in. It had been relatively easy to adjust, but it’s also easy to miss the smallest of things. Minseok can't open a window when he's feeling particularly claustrophobic, he misses fall bike rides, taking the bus, and sometimes he misses people too. That in and of itself is hard, but he manages with the occasional skype calls.
Other times he wants to take an emergency pod and launch himself deeper in space. Absolute deafening silence, absolute quietness--alone.
But that feeling is rare, passing, because it only happens when he finds sleep slipping away.
The management team of the ship hosts different events. They try to simulate things from Earth for when everyone is done with work or classes. It's something to create a sense of normalcy. If he steps away and thinks about it, Minseok finds the entire thing extremely surreal. There are also things like movie showings and festivals. Minseok has gone to so many because of Lu Han. He isn't social, but he seems to get easily restless.
"Ready?" He's standing outside of Lu Han's door. He had decided to dress up nicer than usual by wearing black jeans and a cardigan over a tshirt. Minseok's hair has also grown out, so he's taken to pulling it up in on top of his head. Sojin calls him an apple head when he does it. She's almost like an older sister a lot of times.
"Cute," Lu Han says as soon as he steps out of his room, flicking the little nub on Minseok's head. He's also dressed better than usual, but his hair still falls across his eyes a little bit. Minseok catches a whiff of aftershave.
He presses his lips together, teeth cutting in slightly to the inside of his cheek. Sweaty palms.
It feels almost like a date.
He almost expects Lu Han to hold his hand, but the other only gently pushes him forward. Warm hand settling at the dip of his back.
This is surreal too.
The festival is in full swing when they finally get there. It almost reminds Minseok of one of the campus fairs they do back at home. There are tables set up everywhere with food, drinking games, and people showing off their research. Minseok looks around, it could honestly be a carnival for kids if it wasn't for the adult themed games involving alcohol. And lack of children on the spaceship. He looks down when Lu Han nudges him, realizing parts of the floor are completely transparent. Class open to the void beneath. Lu Han never fails to steady him.
"What is this festival for anyways?" Minseok asks, looking for a sign signifying what's being celebrated.
"I'm offended you don't know," Lu Han says, "the agriculture department is doing this. RIght now the northern hemisphere is experiencing the autumnal equinox. Which means harvesting."
Minseok can't believe he's forgotten, "Whoops," he says meekly.
"That means you're buying me food," Lu Han’s tone full of disdain.
They end up at a corn dog stand, and Minseok begins to visibly salivate over the smell. It smells delicious, and it reminds him of going to the fair with his parents when he was a kid.
"Too bad you don't look at me that way," Lu Han pretends to pout, teasing Minseok at the same time, "you're honestly going to cause a flood if you don't close your mouth."
But his stomach growling really takes the bite out of his words. Minseok buys them corn dogs and takes care to wipe the mustard from Lu Han's chin when he drips it everywhere. They've gotten a lot more comfortable around one another. Minseok barely notices their proximity anymore, but sometimes the heat radiating off of Lu Han is startlingly hot hot hot.
"You're eyes are really pretty," Lu Han says suddenly, "Um, don't take this the wrong way but--" He takes another bite from his corndog, semi-ferocious in his chewing, "they're kinda like the same color as Mercury in the light right now." His mouth has too much food in it, and Minseok watches him wince when he swallows.
"So space dirt," Minseok deadpans, wondering if his face is red. Can anyone hear them?
"But prettier--"
"You're bad at this," Minseok says suddenly. It's almost as if everything has been building up to this exact moment, and they both are just now trying to make sense of their friendship. It's kind of embarrassing. What's probably more amusing is how casually it's going. If the burning of Lu Han's ears can be counted as such.
"I am," Lu Han says, "but I can only get more embarassing from here on out." He's pressing the sides of his face with his free hand.
They go around to the other attractions set up, standing closer than usual, than right before they had eaten. Minseok ends up talking to someone about the cluster of stars he had found a month or so ago. He still doesn't know what to call it. Lu Han shows him a collection of flowers that look vaguely like someone had crossed orchids and venus flytraps together, the petals almost metallic. Lu Han buys him one. They're from crossing flowers found on Mars a few years ago, he explain a little later.
They end the night together, Minseok having had more fun than he'd thought. They pass by the observation area again, the one Lu Han had shown him the very first night, but there's a couple sitting there. One of them has their head resting on the other's shoulder. Minseok begins pulling Lu Han away, it feels like they're intruding.
The moment is achingly intimate.
"Wait," Lu Han whispers, "look, over there."
Minseok begins to protest, but he looks to where Lu Han is pointing to the corner of the window. It's probably the position that the ship is currently orbiting, but there's something bright off in the distance. It's strangely nostalgic, a dim muted red, almost a soft salmon around the edges. Hazy space dust haloing it lightly.
Lu Han's hand brushes against his own, side presses in closer.
Gold dust seems to be covering everything in a thin film.
This moment is a slow burn, melting into his memory.
He begins to search for the cloud Lu Han had shown him every chance he gets. He puts in coordinate after coordinate trying to locate it. Minseok even makes it a point to go to a different observation room, checking on the telescopes there. Leo bumps into him, and when Minseok asks, he begins to stumble with his words. Minseok is able to put two and two together--that couple last night must’ve been Leo and Sojin. They’re always together, and Leo remembers seeing the same thing. He doesn’t pry for details, because his biggest concern is the space cloud. Not even a trace, no matter where he looks.
It’s nowhere to be found.
It’s as if it had been just a figment of their imagination.
✶❊✶
Minseok is spending more and more time by himself. Everyone is busier lately, and he ends up wandering around more than anything else. He's been collecting data on his star clusters, cataloguing each one based on calculated size and brightness, that are located there. He took an image of them to see if he could see anything in it. If it reminds him of anything.
He's drawing a blank.
He puts the printed image in a folder, and Minseok ends up reorganizing his entire office. The private observation room isn't that big anyway, but cleaning serves as useful busy work. His laptop pings suddenly, someone has sent him a message. He never gets any, unless it's from the department head or sometimes Leo sends him pictures of hamsters. They're always captioned as “found this picture of you”. He isn’t as offended as he is amused. Lu Han had put him up to it anyway.
Minseok is surprised to see its from Lu Han himself. Usually if they have anything to say, they wait to say it in person. He opens the message and is met with a confusing set of words.
today we went to one of the serious observation decks. it was amazing. I wish you'd been there
Minseok doesn't know how to respond, except, lets go sometime together
Lu Han replies immediately. maybe, but if you're here, you'll easily outshine everything else. You're stellar
Minseok closes his laptop and continues cleaning. He can't suffer from shock. Lu Han is really embarrassing.
In Minseok's lecture on Friday he can't concentrate. They're discussing supernovae and their connection to black holes popping up recently, but there's an insistent message begging to be read on his laptop. He doesn't want to open it, knowing it's from Lu Han.
He clicks. He’s curious.
They've been holding true to form. He sends little things. Small messages ranging from truly embarrassing to cute and thoughtful.
Minseok hates it.
you're ethereal, a pretty existence.
His chest is full of thick wadded cotton.
Lu Han comes over a week later, they haven't had a chance to really hang out in what seems to be forever. Minseok knows it’s only really been a couple of weeks.
"I hate your messages," Minseok's smile is a clear indication that his words mean the exact opposite.
Lu Han's eyes trail the contours or his face, "You remind me of the sun you know."
Minseok's eyebrow quirks. His chest hammering.
"I can't seem to look away," He finishes.
Minseok's doesn't know the exact moment it happened, but he's found himself reaching for Lu Han. It wasn't planned, and it was definitely before all of this, but Lu Han.
Lu Han's eyes, they sparkle, Minseok is aching--there are stars here.
But Lu Han swears that Minseok's being encompasses galaxies beyond reach.
It’s the worst way to make someone fall head fast into something unexpected.
✶❊✶
Lu Han kisses Minseok first, outside of their rooms. It's been six months since they’ve stepped on solid ground. It’s been so long. Minseok reacts quickly, pressing Lu Han against the door to his room. Minseok tastes dinner on his tongue, but he doesn't hold back, sliding his hands up the other's sides. Lu Han manages to open the door, reaching his arm behind him to turn the doorknob. He lets them stumble inside, not breaking contact. Minseok's room is usually where they hang out, because Lu Han invites himself over all too much.
Except today, because today is out of the ordinary.
Lu Han's room is a different story, they rarely come in here together. He pulls Minseok inside, pressing him against the inside of his door.Lu Han kisses down his neck with a fervor so intense, Minseok is waiting to catch on fire.
"Lu Han," Minseok gasps out when he feels a thigh between his legs. The pressure feels good, but he places a hand on Lu Han's chest.
"Sorry," Lu Han says, eyes glazed over as he pulls away. His mouth is swollen, pink. Minseok pulls him in for another kiss, a swipe of his tongue on the other's bottom lip. He lazily pushes his tongue inside, brushing along teeth, sucking on Lu Han's bottom lip before pulling away. It's red.
Lu Han brushes his hand along his nose, thumbs fluttering over cheekbones.
"You act as if I could break any second."
Lu Han laughs lightly at the words, ducking in to nose into Minseok's neck. He shivers when Lu Han's lips brush along his Adam's apple, pulling his head gently back to allow him easier access.
"I think I'm in love with you," Lu Han says. His hands continue to map out every part of Minseok's face, stopping every now and then to kiss a different part. Lips tracing over the dips and valleys. He’s memorizing him, committing Minseok to memory.
Butterfly kisses on his eyelids have Minseok aching. He feels like his body is going to crack.
"You're gorgeous," Lu Han kisses right under his earlobe, "stunning, beautiful," he's mumbling at the corner of his mouth now.
Minseok's breathless.
"You're cosmic, Minseok Kim," Lu Han is kissing his knuckles, "I swear, I feel like you might slip away from me."
And there's almost a bittersweetness to those words. Something not quite forgotten. Lu Han's eyes are crystal clear, every word, every touch.
Genuine sincerity.
Minseok wraps his arms around Lu Han's neck, closing the space between them. They're nose to nose. He feels suddenly too vulnerable, much more scared than he was when they'd boarded the shuttle. Except he can't go back now, there aren't any take backs. Minseok presses on.
"I think I might be in love--"
Lu Han crushes him into a hug. Chest against chest. They're both shaking, and Minseok's back is beginning to hurt where he's pressed into the door.
“Do you wanna spend the night in here today?” Lu Han tentatively asks, “I mean--”
Minseok nods, disappearing to his room to get ready for bed. He makes a move to set up on the floor when he’s back, but Lu Han ends up lying down next to him.
Minseok turns to his side, eyes tracing the faint silhouette of Lu Han’s form. His eyes are still adjusting to the darkness. Minseok leans in anyway, pressing his lips to Lu Han’s. The other’s quiet sigh makes him press in a little more. Lu Han drapes his arm over his waist, touch light.
“Good night,” Lu Han whispers into his hair. Minseok hums in response, fitting perfectly under Lu Han’s chin.
Lu Han is in Minseok’s office, a few pictures spread out before him. He's marking them up with a red marker, looking at them intently, but he loses concentration when he looks up. Only to lock eyes with Minseok.
“Sorry,” he says meekly, rubbing at his neck, “I should’ve messaged you before--”
Minseok shakes his head, placing a few notebooks onto his desk. He doesn't mind if Lu Han is the one here. But Minseok nudges him out of his chair and sits down.
“I just took my final,” he sighs, “you ever forget this is technically an exchange program? We’re in school.”
Lu Han nods, coming up behind him. His hands find their way to Minseok’s shoulders, gently massaging into the tense muscle. Minseok rolls his head, groaning at how nice it feels to have his fingers smoothing the knots out.
He kisses the top of Minseok’s head, “I can make you feel better,” he whispers. It’s kind of filthy the way his words lick around the edges of his hazy tiredness.
“Yeah?” MInseok leans his head back, looking up at Lu Han, “Can you?”
“Maybe,” Lu Han says, “I dunno,” his smile is coy, placing a lone kiss right on Minseok’s adam’s apple. “So that star cluster of yours, can I see it?”
Minseok is too excited to fully feel the whiplash, or the ache, because he jumps out of his chair to get his folder. He pulls out his neatly made charts, pictures, and spreads them out before Lu Han.
"Can I trace over this?" He asks, but Lu Han is already tearing out a sheet of paper from his notebook. Minseok gives him the okay, and Lu Han lays the sheet of paper over the picture. He begins to quickly start connecting the dots together. The major ones stand out the brightest beneath the translucent paper. Minseok watches the lines begin to take shape. Lu Han had looked at the picture thoughtfully when Minseok had shown it to him the other day, but he hadn't expected any actual interest to come out of it. He's glad Lu Han had taken kept thinking about it, because there's a knot beginning to form in his stomach. It's anticipation. He can't wait to see what it's supposed to be.
"So," Lu Han says, "there are these little flowers," he slips the paper off, juxtaposing the images next to each other. "They're called starbursts."
"I like that," Minseok says looking at the image, "It looks just like my stars!"
"Yeah," Lu Han says suddenly shy, "I--I had been organizing some books in the library, and I--I saw those and they reminded me of you--"
They're quiet.
Minseok shivers suddenly.
"Have you thought about what you'll do when we get back?" Minseok finds himself suddenly asking.
"Well," Lu Han looks away, "I've--I'm not sure."
"Me neither."
There's a heaviness to their words.
"We don't go to the same university," Minseok has his back turned as he says this. He isn't very good at the talking and looking Lu Han in the eyes thing.
"I'll be done in a few months," Lu Han offers, "I've thought about it a little, and I don't know if I can move to space permanently."
"Mhm," he hums, "I'll be done too. But I've actually, um, I've considered the job offer. I just don't really think it's for me."
Lu Han cocks his head to the side.
They smile when they lock gazes, a half kind of recklessness that doesn't belong in this instant. This isn't the time, not in the quiet, in this stop motion, stuttering. Minseok picks up all of the papers, quickly placing them back into the folder on his desk. A few days ago, they had been rounded up, all of the students who were there for the program. They'd been brought into an imposing room, and Minseok had been upset it was so cold. That annoyance had dissolved when they'd been told they would all be promised permanent spots if they so chose this as their career paths.
Minseok had thought he could do it, but he doesn't think he actually could. He misses the small things, the little mundane things that come with living on Earth. He thinks about the friends he's made here too, Sojin and Leo, but they seem to be intent on coming back. Extra training would be necessary.
Minseok reaches out to Lu Han.
Smoothly, that's how everything seems to fit for them.
"I need to take these to my department head," Minseok finally breaks the moment. He feels like he's been sitting in the same position for a really long time. "I think it should be good. Do you want to get half of the credit? You did think of a name. I have all of the data and stuff ready--"
Lu Han stands up, pulling him in by the waist, "This is your baby, I only helped you name it. I could hardly call that getting any credit, besides," Lu Han backs up, sitting into the chair, Minseok in his lap. This is singlehandedly the last thing Minseok wants to remember doing in this office. Lu Han is pressing his nose into Minseok's back, snuffling. It tickles, and Minseok can't stop squirming until he feels Lu Han's unmistakable erection poking under his thigh. He wriggles a little bit, hearing Lu Han muffle a groan into his back.
"You're really pathetic," Minseok teases, "getting hard. Here of all places."
"It's your fault," Lu Han whines, "you have to fix this."
Minseok twists so that his ass is pressing directly where it has Lu Han whimpering.
"You're so mean."
But Lu Han waddles out of his office half an hour later with dirty underwear, and Minseok feels a little bad. He’ll have to go back to his room and change too. Minseok can make it up to him another time, because this is pretty new for them as it is. They skirt around the subject of their future, they stop when things get a little too heavy.
Minseok stops it, he isn't completely ready to let things go further. This is just a catapulting head first into the complete unknown. Lu Han is gentle with him, understanding.
Minseok doesn't think he's in love in anymore.
He knows, he knows.
He heads over to his department head’s office, paperwork in his arms.
✶❊✶
His body is weightless, unhinged. Arms reach towards him, scrambling to find something to grasp. He should be worried, panicked--the voice yelling is repeating the same few words over and over. He has no understanding, just unfeeling, unknowing.
Nothing.
Minseok feels something hit his head, he sleepily opens his eyes only to quickly take hold of the bar above him. He's not in his bed, and his foggy mind is able to actually register what i happening. This had been a warning, they were told it could happen at any time. The shock is what they would have to overcome, and it would be the greatest obstacle they'd have to deal with, especially if they happened to be alone.
There simulations of what to do in an emergency where there wasn't any gravity, but two weeks of training were hardly enough. They’ve been here for nine months now, and it had been easy to let their guard down. The thing that had hit Minseok’s head is the metal bar attached to the ceiling. They're in all of the rooms, the same way that all of the furniture is attached firmly to the ground. They're all precautions.
There's an emergency alarm going off, it's piercing in the same way the fire alarms are meant to be. Minseok is calm, even if they're experiencing zero gravity this very second. He hears Lu Han yelling his name, but it's high pitched. Minseok's stomach clenches, they're advised to stay in their immediate areas, but Minseok can't. He has to try to go to Lu Han. He has to.
He tentatively lets go of the bar and immediately grabs it again, thankfully the ceilings aren't too high. He tries again, moving along the wall, pushing against the ceiling. It's slow moving, but better than he had hoped. Minseok faces the biggest challenge when he makes it to the doorway. There's a another bar in the middle of the hallway, but it's just out of reach. The hall itself is wider than he recalled too. He sucks in a breath and lets himself be carried to the top, but he grabs onto the bar before he can lose his and end up further down the hall.
Lu Han's door is thankfully open, so he repeats the process, if it wasn't for the weightlessness, he would've slammed hard into the wall.
"Lu Han?"
He's huddled far into the corner of his room, but there's dark red wetness sliding down his face.
"Lu Han?" Minseok's own voice panicked shaking with the question, "Lu, are you?"
He doesn't move, but Minseok keeps rushing forward, until he's right where Lu Han is huddled.
"I'm okay, okay, okay--" Lu Han is dazed. Minseok brushes his bangs away, the blood is already starting to dry, but he wipes it away best as he can with his tshirt. He takes Lu Han's face in both of his hands, but sees the wound is just a small cut right above Lu Han's eyebrow.
"I panicked--I--" He says shaking, "I hit my head, I'm a fucking id--"
Minseok takes Lu Han's hands into both of his, holding him, not saying anything. He lets Lu Han talk, but he's more so dissolved into babbling. Minseok lets him continue, because right under the layer of this episode, Lu Han is reacting to something else. It's been building up, Minseok can tell. And he's not the only one. Everyone just seems to let it manifest in a different way. They're either explosions, or episodes that seem to fizzle and pop without even shaking.
"I just--" Lu Han begins to say, but there's an announcement being made over the speakers. They both listen intently to what's being said, the alarm has already been turned off.
They're going to turn the gravity back on little by little, so as to not to cause more injuries, or for people to go into further shock. They've already managed to fix the generator that had been turned off due to a power surge.
Most people had been sleeping, so a lot of them had gone into shock. Minseok pulls Lu Han to him, and he pulls them both down closer to Lu Han's bed.
"Sorry," Lu Han says a little bit later, they're both sitting up now, a nest of covers cushioning them. The gravity has come back completely. Minseok just shakes his head, threading their fingers together, he looks at how they fit nicely. Lu Han's bracelets brushing at his own skin.
"I was sleeping really well too," he lets out a shaky laugh, "I think maybe I just need to go home."
"Well," Minseok says, he knew, but he's happy Lu Han recognizes it. "Let's get you to the nurse first."
Lu Han looks up, fingering at the now dried blood on his face, "I hit it on the corner of the bed. Real smooth, huh?"
"Does is hurt?" Minseok's concern coloring his words.
"If I says yes, will you kiss it for me?" He cheekily asks, offering himself to Minseok.
Minseok shakes his head, hiding a smile. He holds onto Lu Han tightly until they make it to the designated nurse for their floor. There's a short line outside, most people having also suffered from minor bumps and cuts. They keep Lu Han overnight, along with a few other people to check for concussions. Minseok is sent back to his room, a minor bruise on his shin is nothing really.
He goes back to his room, but Minseok finds that no matter what, he can't sleep. He tosses and turns, until he finally sits up in bed. Minseok finds himself taking the elevator down, and he goes to sit in the open observation area. He still refers to it as that, despite it just being a lobby area to socialize. He picks up the couch cushions and sets the neatly back onto the couch. Lu Han kissed him here the first time the officially went on a date. That meant them going to one of the auditoriums to watch a movie that had come out in the States a few months ago. It was awful, and they had left early, defaulting to a game of soccer.
Minseok had taken a seat, and next thing he knew--Lu Han was kissing him, soft, fingers curled into his hair.
Minseok still hasn't been able to find that space cloud they had seen, months ago, but he searches for it out of habit.
He finds his eyelids growing heavier, and he goes back to his room.
Lu Han's recovery goes smoothly, and they spend the next week cleaning and reorganizing. It's mostly Minseok putting nervous energy to use.
He submitted his paperwork to the head of his department, but he'd completely forgotten it would have to go under review. A minor detail in the grand scheme of things. He's been nervous the entire week, and he'd only remembered when Max had mentioned it to him. Leo and Sojin are in the honeymoon phase of their whatever it is, but it's cute. Leo also smiles a lot more, frequently too. They don't talk as much though, their own work taking up all of their time. It's alright, because Minseok is happy to see them when they can, soccer matches traded for quick coffee breaks. It’s good too.
Minseok wakes up with the awful nervous feeling in his stomach again, but it turns out to be a premonition for good news. His research was approved. His Starburst cluster of stars is going to be officially added into the database. Minseok is thrilled. He knew his calculations had been perfected to the smallest of details, and he had also spent a distressing amount of time reading the guidelines. He was positive it would get approval, but there's always room for self doubt. His news is shared with just as much enthusiasm from the people in classes, but the message that pings when he's sitting in his office--that holds the weight of the entire world.
you did it. my pretty little star, proud of you
He colors at the choice of words. He messages back a quick, who talks like that
He only gets a little heart in return, and Minseok hates to admit how much it means to him. He’s weak at the knees for Lu Han. He would think himself pathetic, but Lu Han makes his chest expand. It’s as if every single part of him has committed. To this--to them.
✶❊✶
Part III