Mag-Ingat Ka Sa... Kulam: A Horror Film Gone So Bad, It's Scary
Mag-Ingat Ka Sa... Kulam
(Regal Films, 2008)
Direction | Jun Lana
Cast | Judy Ann Santos, Dennis Trillo, TJ Trinidad, Ces Quesada, Sharlene San Pedro, Irma Adlawan, Kris Bernal, Mart Escudero
Your first clue that the film you are about to watch is bad is when the opening credits roll and it is over-scored. The title flashes. Fades out. Lead star's name appears, then her leading man's name replaces it. And so on. Virtually, nothing has started to happen. NOTHING. But then, you really are bothered by the clashing music of a creepy cathedral organ, pulses of very low bass, echoes of thunder, high-pitched Grace Nono-ish tribal chanting, and whatever sounds conceived by paranormal happenings. There's no organization. It is as if all forms of music come together for an Annual Horror Symphony Convention, playing under the baton of a conductor who is either heavilly drugged or deaf.
And that is just the topmost tip of the iceberg. There is really nothing in it that says, this is a film graded A by the Cinema Evaluation Board. IT ISN'T EVEN ABOUT FREAKIN' KULAM!!!
Mag-Ingat Ka Sa... Kulam is nothing but one of those Regal Shockers you've seen in the 90s, rehashed, then updated with a bleak concept of local witchcraft, and given an awful time-lapsing CG clouds. This, perhaps, belongs to the new movement of horror films called, Regal Chakers.
Asian Horrors of recent years have developed distinct characterisitcs and have proven its popularity with Hollywood remaking some of them. But joining this new wave of filmmaking does not mean putting the same white lady with long black hair in your film. That to differentiate her from Sadako, make yours wear a rebonded wig and blue contact lenses. Sadako and her clones are so tired! And if it weren't enough, borrow scare tactics from Shutter. Put your ghost not in a photo but in a video. For a change? COME ON! What a bright idea. Whoever thought of that must be kidding bigtime.
Asian Horror is subtlety and style. It is not shock-and-awe one after another. And definitely not hard-locked doors that magically open in a ghost chase. Asian Horror is rich, local culture. It is not a cabinet of porcelain dolls nor a book that mimics Harry Potter's Marauder's Map. Asian Horror is vengeance and wrath. It is not a twisted twin sister who doesn't know what she wants nor a suicidal business partner who crazily holds on to a promise made by an amnesiac.
If there is one thing Mag-Ingat Ka Sa Kulam has achieved, it would be that the film is scary. Scary that this crap of a film is still being made and by the same old crap of a producer.
To end this is a very memorable line from the movie. Dennis Trillo to Juday: Mira, anong ginawa mo sa bodega? Alam mo bang dun nakatago ang mga gamit na galing pa from various generations? ---VARIOUS GENERATIONS?!?!?!
rating:
1 out of 10
heart failure!