Easter Holidays Summer Up.
Lecture Plans: don't even get me started. I SUCK. But maybe, just maybe, I'm getting just a tiny, tiny bit better.
Free Days: So, I made my holidays slightly longer by not arriving at school for thursday's and friday's classes, which gave me the possibility of leaving at sunday instead of the wednsday. Once again: I SUCK.
FanFiction: I made some progres with my bigbang challenge, but it's not big enough to be proud of. And now that I come back to the uni, I doubt I'm gonna have much time. And as much as I appraciate the cheerleading I'm getting from some of you (esp, r_a_j_ka) I'm not sure I'm gonna make it this year.
The challenge for wonderboys didn't move ahead at all so go figure.
I haven't finished a thing on those holidays. Sorry. I didn't even read that many fics, actually.
Things To Watch: The list of the movies waiting to watch didn't get shorter by even one position. Actually it got longer for one, 'cause I took one horror movie from my mum.
As for tv-shows, I finished watching Leverage and got femaleshinigami addicted to it and I'm working on corrupting natinio with it as well. I love this show, really. It even made me love Christian Kane XD
Also I started watching Gilmore Girls and got quite surprised since I was expecting something simmilar to One Tree Hill... Boy, was I surprised! I actually got pretty much obsessed with this show and you're gonna get larger post on it from me, because as riddiculous as it sounds specific fictional characters dragged me through some tough times in my life and right now the dragging is done at least partly by Lorelaine Gilmore, so there.
Oh, and femaleshinigami gave me another anime to watch, but it has too long name for me to remember XD It starts with Kuro... And it go by that shortened name for me. It's pretty cool, although of course messed up and weird and psychocotic like all animes I've ever been made to watch. I actually plan to watch it to its end, I just got distracted with Gilmore Girls.
Time Spent At Home: was awesome. I actually feel almost as bad as just before my first leaving for uni. I mean, there are different reasons, but I still feel crappy. And for the last time, it's not because I was wrong about leaving or about my decision to study elsewhere. It's just that here I can be myself. There are three or so people around here with whom I really don't have to bother to watch for myself. It doesn't mean I'm not myself at the uni. I;m always my crappy self, it's just that here, with those people (not with everyone here after all!) I can be myself and don't feel the constant judging, disapproving, ridiculing eyes on me. And the thought that I have to come to that hell full of people who don't understand me and look at me like on some gross enterteinment on the freak show... it's just awful for me right now. And I'll have to suffer through next two months, including the exams, which I may be too stupid to pass. That sucks. And makes me sad and make my avoiding personality beg to jump out of the train in the middle of the ride or at least get out on the wrong stop and just get lost. Somewhere between the hell of living the life I hate and hating failing at trying to life I may slightly like. Yeah, somewhere there would be a cool place to get lost.
*sigh* Okay, anyway, I missed you guys. I missed writing what's on my stupid mind right now. And yeah, I may be in the middle of the inside monologue of getting a grip, but I'm not sure it'll work. So, really, all the comments about everything that will be all right are not welcome right now. I appraciate the thought, but lets face it, if I won't move my ass, it won't be all right. It'll be passable, okay and mediocre at best. And to hell with that.
Free Days: So, I made my holidays slightly longer by not arriving at school for thursday's and friday's classes, which gave me the possibility of leaving at sunday instead of the wednsday. Once again: I SUCK.
FanFiction: I made some progres with my bigbang challenge, but it's not big enough to be proud of. And now that I come back to the uni, I doubt I'm gonna have much time. And as much as I appraciate the cheerleading I'm getting from some of you (esp, r_a_j_ka) I'm not sure I'm gonna make it this year.
The challenge for wonderboys didn't move ahead at all so go figure.
I haven't finished a thing on those holidays. Sorry. I didn't even read that many fics, actually.
Things To Watch: The list of the movies waiting to watch didn't get shorter by even one position. Actually it got longer for one, 'cause I took one horror movie from my mum.
As for tv-shows, I finished watching Leverage and got femaleshinigami addicted to it and I'm working on corrupting natinio with it as well. I love this show, really. It even made me love Christian Kane XD
Also I started watching Gilmore Girls and got quite surprised since I was expecting something simmilar to One Tree Hill... Boy, was I surprised! I actually got pretty much obsessed with this show and you're gonna get larger post on it from me, because as riddiculous as it sounds specific fictional characters dragged me through some tough times in my life and right now the dragging is done at least partly by Lorelaine Gilmore, so there.
Oh, and femaleshinigami gave me another anime to watch, but it has too long name for me to remember XD It starts with Kuro... And it go by that shortened name for me. It's pretty cool, although of course messed up and weird and psychocotic like all animes I've ever been made to watch. I actually plan to watch it to its end, I just got distracted with Gilmore Girls.
Time Spent At Home: was awesome. I actually feel almost as bad as just before my first leaving for uni. I mean, there are different reasons, but I still feel crappy. And for the last time, it's not because I was wrong about leaving or about my decision to study elsewhere. It's just that here I can be myself. There are three or so people around here with whom I really don't have to bother to watch for myself. It doesn't mean I'm not myself at the uni. I;m always my crappy self, it's just that here, with those people (not with everyone here after all!) I can be myself and don't feel the constant judging, disapproving, ridiculing eyes on me. And the thought that I have to come to that hell full of people who don't understand me and look at me like on some gross enterteinment on the freak show... it's just awful for me right now. And I'll have to suffer through next two months, including the exams, which I may be too stupid to pass. That sucks. And makes me sad and make my avoiding personality beg to jump out of the train in the middle of the ride or at least get out on the wrong stop and just get lost. Somewhere between the hell of living the life I hate and hating failing at trying to life I may slightly like. Yeah, somewhere there would be a cool place to get lost.
*sigh* Okay, anyway, I missed you guys. I missed writing what's on my stupid mind right now. And yeah, I may be in the middle of the inside monologue of getting a grip, but I'm not sure it'll work. So, really, all the comments about everything that will be all right are not welcome right now. I appraciate the thought, but lets face it, if I won't move my ass, it won't be all right. It'll be passable, okay and mediocre at best. And to hell with that.