by the time you come home, i'm already stoned.
so things are a little bit better. i'm not..totally depressed, i'm just kinda blahed out right now.
i need a hug.
and possibly someone to make out with, haha.
i'm still really tired though. i just want to make it through these last 4 or weeks alive. and alyssa's mom keeps telling me that i need to enjoy what i have left of high school, and tht i'm going to regret it. and i know that i probably will, but what can i do? i have to work.
and i'm still really lonely. i don't think i've been lonely in a long time. i mean...i wasn't lonely after art left me until like..a week ago. and for no particular reason other than the fact that i can't run to him anymore to comfort me when i'm trying to deal with all this shit. siiiigh. one day it will all make sense, and i'll look back on this and be proud of what i accomplished, and what i managed to do and yadda yadda, but it just doesn't feel that way right now. right now it just feels lonely.
anywho.
i actually got to talk to jae today, and that was nice. i keep meaning to call him, but i'm always just too tired, too busy, or some other random thing will pop up. and i feel bad. but it'll be alright. he's going to come to our after prom party and it'll be the first time we've hung out in got knows how long.
you know what else i realized? VILLAGE FAIR IS COMING UP!
YAAAAAYYY!
haha, okay i know it's lame, but it's tradition. i don't even know when it is...like prom weekend i think. which is LAME. but whatever. hopefully i'll find some time to go.
also, must go to pop show, and spring show, and the talent show, and every other obnoxious senior THING that i can do, so i don' feel that all was wasted on work.
there's this poster hanging outside our door at breadeaux, advertising this ballet, sinserella, or something. and i really want to go. but i can't. i forget what i'm doing when it's being performed, but i know i can't. i just want to go see a ballet so bad.
geez.
but hey, something went right! alyssa's mom made dessert! all is not lost!
i need a hug.
and possibly someone to make out with, haha.
i'm still really tired though. i just want to make it through these last 4 or weeks alive. and alyssa's mom keeps telling me that i need to enjoy what i have left of high school, and tht i'm going to regret it. and i know that i probably will, but what can i do? i have to work.
and i'm still really lonely. i don't think i've been lonely in a long time. i mean...i wasn't lonely after art left me until like..a week ago. and for no particular reason other than the fact that i can't run to him anymore to comfort me when i'm trying to deal with all this shit. siiiigh. one day it will all make sense, and i'll look back on this and be proud of what i accomplished, and what i managed to do and yadda yadda, but it just doesn't feel that way right now. right now it just feels lonely.
anywho.
i actually got to talk to jae today, and that was nice. i keep meaning to call him, but i'm always just too tired, too busy, or some other random thing will pop up. and i feel bad. but it'll be alright. he's going to come to our after prom party and it'll be the first time we've hung out in got knows how long.
you know what else i realized? VILLAGE FAIR IS COMING UP!
YAAAAAYYY!
haha, okay i know it's lame, but it's tradition. i don't even know when it is...like prom weekend i think. which is LAME. but whatever. hopefully i'll find some time to go.
also, must go to pop show, and spring show, and the talent show, and every other obnoxious senior THING that i can do, so i don' feel that all was wasted on work.
there's this poster hanging outside our door at breadeaux, advertising this ballet, sinserella, or something. and i really want to go. but i can't. i forget what i'm doing when it's being performed, but i know i can't. i just want to go see a ballet so bad.
geez.
but hey, something went right! alyssa's mom made dessert! all is not lost!