Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
BFF & I watched Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom today. Review with spoilers & ending ahead:
-If you've seen any JWFK trailers, you know the main plot: The volcano on Isla Nubar has become active. The dinosaurs need to be rescued before the island is destroyed.
-The beginning of the movie is really slow. Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) gets suckered into "help us retrieve the dinosaurs" by Eli, a caring guy you guess in two seconds is a sneaky bad guy. Claire then has to convince Owen (Chris Pratt) to join her.
-There are a lot of characters & subplots that were wasted, randomly dropped or did not add to the movie: Jeff Goldblum, James Cromwell, BD Wong, the Mosasaurus, Franklin, Zia, Iris, the Maisie reveal, how people co-existed with the surviving dinosaurs at the end.
-JWFK is a strange mix of Jumanji, Get Out, Night At The Museum, The Land Before Time, The Floor Is Lava, the flying shark from Doctor Who & every super hero movie you've regretted seeing in the past ten years.
-There seemed to be more effort into making this movie toyetic than anything else. I see now why there was so much JWFK merchandise in stores months in advance, ahead of any poor reviews.
-The best acting in the movie came from Ted Levine, who played a jerky military guy that pulls teeth from each captured dinosaur (which was sad & difficult to watch, even though it's fake animals).
-You should not pay extra for the 3D version. For real, learn from our mistake. The 3D effects added more to the trailer for Wreck It Ralph 2 than JWFK. What a ripoff.
-There was a lot of extra loud stomping every time they wanted to indicate "a large dinosaur is about to pop out." Our audience found it a bit annoying.
*These were the saddest parts of the movie:
-Thinking Blue had been impaled to death. Holy shit, our theatre did not like that.
-Blue getting shot
-Blue in chains & a muzzle, getting a bullet removed from her
-A goat being eaten
-Dinosaurs getting teeth pulled
-Owen convincing Claire to let the dinosaurs die
-The left behind dinosaurs succumbing to the volcano
If you have a rainy afternoon to kill or a free ticket, JWFK is an okay time waster. I wouldn't go if you're expecting something like the first Jurassic Park, or even the previous Jurassic World. I would give this movie a C rating.
-If you've seen any JWFK trailers, you know the main plot: The volcano on Isla Nubar has become active. The dinosaurs need to be rescued before the island is destroyed.
-The beginning of the movie is really slow. Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) gets suckered into "help us retrieve the dinosaurs" by Eli, a caring guy you guess in two seconds is a sneaky bad guy. Claire then has to convince Owen (Chris Pratt) to join her.
-There are a lot of characters & subplots that were wasted, randomly dropped or did not add to the movie: Jeff Goldblum, James Cromwell, BD Wong, the Mosasaurus, Franklin, Zia, Iris, the Maisie reveal, how people co-existed with the surviving dinosaurs at the end.
-JWFK is a strange mix of Jumanji, Get Out, Night At The Museum, The Land Before Time, The Floor Is Lava, the flying shark from Doctor Who & every super hero movie you've regretted seeing in the past ten years.
-There seemed to be more effort into making this movie toyetic than anything else. I see now why there was so much JWFK merchandise in stores months in advance, ahead of any poor reviews.
-The best acting in the movie came from Ted Levine, who played a jerky military guy that pulls teeth from each captured dinosaur (which was sad & difficult to watch, even though it's fake animals).
-You should not pay extra for the 3D version. For real, learn from our mistake. The 3D effects added more to the trailer for Wreck It Ralph 2 than JWFK. What a ripoff.
-There was a lot of extra loud stomping every time they wanted to indicate "a large dinosaur is about to pop out." Our audience found it a bit annoying.
*These were the saddest parts of the movie:
-Thinking Blue had been impaled to death. Holy shit, our theatre did not like that.
-Blue getting shot
-Blue in chains & a muzzle, getting a bullet removed from her
-A goat being eaten
-Dinosaurs getting teeth pulled
-Owen convincing Claire to let the dinosaurs die
-The left behind dinosaurs succumbing to the volcano
If you have a rainy afternoon to kill or a free ticket, JWFK is an okay time waster. I wouldn't go if you're expecting something like the first Jurassic Park, or even the previous Jurassic World. I would give this movie a C rating.