Fic: The Game
Author: 
andibeth82
Rating: G
Fandom: LOST
Characters: James/Juliet
Spoilers: None really - a few instances in seasons 3 and 4.
Word Count: 1,545
Note: James and Juliet play chess...and talk about the past.
He’s sitting in the living room and has just reached his favorite part in his favorite book when her voice breaks the quiet.
“What the hell is this?!”
There’s the thud of her shoes being thrown by the door, the sound of her jumpsuit hitting the ground, and then she’s standing before him. Juliet’s face is a mask of annoyance, still tinged with dirt from the motor pool and he smiles. Even when she’s an angry grease-stained monkey, he can’t help but find her adorable.
“Are you responsible for that thing in the kitchen?” Her voice is short.
“If by ‘thing’ you mean chess board then yes.” He lowers his eyes back to his book, and she blows out a frustrated breath in response.
“Dammit, James! I told you, we can’t touch our sub fund if we want to get out of here before the purge happens.”
“Relax, Blondie. We got years til then and I ain’t gonna touch our money. This was a gift from one of the new recruits. Apparently they’re tryin’ to get in good with security.” His grin widens. “Told them I already got myself a woman, though.”
She arches an eyebrow, the annoyed look sliding off her face and he smirks, because he knows she can’t stay mad at him especially if there’s no real reason for the anger.
“And you think this is something we’re going to use?” Her voice drips with doubtfulness, and he shrugs.
“Hell, never know. Thought we could use a little somethin’ to pass the time. Maybe one day we’re gonna be out of books. Maybe one day we’ll need to hide from Horace’s barbeques.”
She breaks into a smile, shaking her head. “Do you even know how to play chess, James?”
He snorts. “Course I do. Just cause you were too busy leadin’ book clubs while I was takin’ championships down on the beach don’t mean I know nothin’.”
“Mmmhmm.” She runs a hand through her hair. “Funny. I don’t seem to remember any of those stories.”
James narrows his eyes. “Alright. I get it. You think I can’t play chess. But can you?”
Juliet sighs. “You really want to challenge that? I had a long day, James. I could use a victory.”
“Well, sorry to say that victory won’t be at the chess board.” He gets up and strides away, his voice becoming slightly distant as he moves through the house. “But if you’re good, you may get a consolation prize later.”
She rolls her eyes at his words and follows him into the kitchen, where he’s sitting at the table setting up pieces on the black and white checkered board, an open can of Dharma beer by his elbow.
“This is a chess game, not a drinking game,” she reminds him as she sits down and grabs a few extra knights.
“And there ain’t no rule that says you can’t drink and play,” he counters, taking a sip from the can. He passes it to her and she finds herself accepting against better judgment. Juliet knows that she never would’ve called herself a beer drinker before she came to the Island, but apparently there are a lot of things she would never have called herself. Like James’ girlfriend, for instance.
“Your move.”
She stares at the board for a few moments, then moves a chess piece to an open spot and leans back in her chair.
“What were you like? You know…before.”
James looks up sharply. “Why are you askin’ me? You got my damn file.”
“You can’t get everything from a file,” she responds easily, leaning forward. Her voice softens. “James, we’ve been living together for almost a year…why can’t I ask you about your past?”
“Cause everythin’ you need to know about my past is wrapped up in your nice little folder and we don’t need to be discussin’ anythin’ else,” he retorts. Juliet falls silent as she waits for him to make a move on the chess board, debating on whether to follow through with her next words.
“Did you really sleep with Kate a lot?”
He glowers into his beer can. “What the hell?”
“Relax, James. It’s just a question. Your move.”
He lets out a sigh, moving his piece beside hers. “She forced herself on me. That’s all, okay? ‘Sides, ain’t here to talk about her.”
Juliet nods. “Okay. Just wondering, that’s all.”
They lapse into silence and James bites his lip, trying to downplay the annoyance that he feels beginning to spread inside him. He stares at the board before he speaks again. “Did…did you ever sleep with Jack?”
“God, no,” Juliet bursts out quickly with a shake of her head, and he can’t help it, it bothers him that she doesn’t even seem shaken by his question. “Why would I do that?”
“I dunno…” He fiddles with his chess piece, not knowing what else to say. Juliet regards him curiously.
“James. Are you okay?” Her eyes are trained downwards towards his hand, and he realizes he’s gripping the black knight with so much force that his knuckles are turning white.
“Yeah. Fine.” He absently places the piece on the table and pushes it into an empty square. Juliet folds her arms, assessing for longer than he thinks she means to before she places her own knight down.
“Checkmate.”
“Son of a bitch!”
Juliet leans back in her chair, a slight grin emerging, but James doesn’t return the smile.
“Why did you gotta go do that?” He’s muttering, swiping the pieces from the board and placing them on the table.
“Do what? You’re the one who wanted to play,” she reminds him. He shakes his head.
“Not the game. The whole damn thing about bringin’ up the past.”
Juliet furrows her brow, reaching across the table for his hand. “I just…I want to be able to talk.”
“Well, we can talk without knowin’ everythin’.” He snatches his hand back and she sighs in response.
“What the hell is this about?”
He doesn’t answer at first and Juliet gets up, rounding the table to stand over him. He finally looks up.
“Okay. Why didn’t you ever sleep with Jack?”
She looks taken aback as she places herself on his lap, running a hand down the side of his face. “I never slept with Jack because I never wanted to,” she says matter-of-factly. He closes his eyes, not wanting to hear himself say his next words.
“And it don’t…it don’t bother you that I slept with Kate?”
Juliet doesn’t answer, and the silence hangs between them with a tension as awkward as the sentence before it.
“I would lie to say it doesn’t,” she says finally. “But…it’s something I try not to think about. You were different, then. And we didn’t really know each other. Not like we do now, anyway.”
He knows he should take her words with comfort, but instead, the only thing he can think about is how much he doesn’t deserve her to believe them. He sighs.
“Why do you think you can do this, Juliet?”
She looks confused. “Do what?”
James throws up his hands. “Erase my past, pretend I’m someone I’m not. You know damn well who I am, and that ain’t ever gonna change.”
A look of slight hurt passes across her face, and it’s so subtle that he knows he would have never picked it up if he hadn’t come to know her like the back of his hand. He lowers his head, and she wraps her arms around his neck.
“James…whoever you were before all this…before and even after you came to this place…I choose to not believe that. It doesn’t matter who you were. It only matters who you are.”
He finally allows himself to meet her gaze. “You know I ain’t a good person. You know I ain’t the perfect boyfriend, I sure as hell ain’t never gonna be the perfect daddy…”
His words are cut short by the feel of her lips against his and when she pulls back, she’s regarding him with one of the most serious looks he’s seen in awhile.
“I don’t care about those things. I don’t care about who you slept with…or who you were or what you did. I care about you.” Juliet pauses. “I care about your bad cooking, the fact that you hog all the covers at night…your inability to clean anything in the house…and the fact that you really can’t play chess.” She says the last words with a small smile, and he finds himself smiling in return. Feeling slightly less self-doubtful, he wraps his arms around her shoulders.
“So before I go defendin’ my chess skills, then…you really believe all that? All that stuff about this bein’ now and not matterin’ who you were before?”
There’s another look that passes across her face, but he can’t quite figure it out - it’s a mixture of sadness, regret and loneliness and before he can process what it might mean, it’s gone.
“I have to,” Juliet says quietly. She leans her head against his chest and in that moment, he finds himself comforted by the fact that even though he may not ever be okay with himself, she was okay with him, and that was all he needed, really.
andibeth82
Rating: G
Fandom: LOST
Characters: James/Juliet
Spoilers: None really - a few instances in seasons 3 and 4.
Word Count: 1,545
Note: James and Juliet play chess...and talk about the past.
He’s sitting in the living room and has just reached his favorite part in his favorite book when her voice breaks the quiet.
“What the hell is this?!”
There’s the thud of her shoes being thrown by the door, the sound of her jumpsuit hitting the ground, and then she’s standing before him. Juliet’s face is a mask of annoyance, still tinged with dirt from the motor pool and he smiles. Even when she’s an angry grease-stained monkey, he can’t help but find her adorable.
“Are you responsible for that thing in the kitchen?” Her voice is short.
“If by ‘thing’ you mean chess board then yes.” He lowers his eyes back to his book, and she blows out a frustrated breath in response.
“Dammit, James! I told you, we can’t touch our sub fund if we want to get out of here before the purge happens.”
“Relax, Blondie. We got years til then and I ain’t gonna touch our money. This was a gift from one of the new recruits. Apparently they’re tryin’ to get in good with security.” His grin widens. “Told them I already got myself a woman, though.”
She arches an eyebrow, the annoyed look sliding off her face and he smirks, because he knows she can’t stay mad at him especially if there’s no real reason for the anger.
“And you think this is something we’re going to use?” Her voice drips with doubtfulness, and he shrugs.
“Hell, never know. Thought we could use a little somethin’ to pass the time. Maybe one day we’re gonna be out of books. Maybe one day we’ll need to hide from Horace’s barbeques.”
She breaks into a smile, shaking her head. “Do you even know how to play chess, James?”
He snorts. “Course I do. Just cause you were too busy leadin’ book clubs while I was takin’ championships down on the beach don’t mean I know nothin’.”
“Mmmhmm.” She runs a hand through her hair. “Funny. I don’t seem to remember any of those stories.”
James narrows his eyes. “Alright. I get it. You think I can’t play chess. But can you?”
Juliet sighs. “You really want to challenge that? I had a long day, James. I could use a victory.”
“Well, sorry to say that victory won’t be at the chess board.” He gets up and strides away, his voice becoming slightly distant as he moves through the house. “But if you’re good, you may get a consolation prize later.”
She rolls her eyes at his words and follows him into the kitchen, where he’s sitting at the table setting up pieces on the black and white checkered board, an open can of Dharma beer by his elbow.
“This is a chess game, not a drinking game,” she reminds him as she sits down and grabs a few extra knights.
“And there ain’t no rule that says you can’t drink and play,” he counters, taking a sip from the can. He passes it to her and she finds herself accepting against better judgment. Juliet knows that she never would’ve called herself a beer drinker before she came to the Island, but apparently there are a lot of things she would never have called herself. Like James’ girlfriend, for instance.
“Your move.”
She stares at the board for a few moments, then moves a chess piece to an open spot and leans back in her chair.
“What were you like? You know…before.”
James looks up sharply. “Why are you askin’ me? You got my damn file.”
“You can’t get everything from a file,” she responds easily, leaning forward. Her voice softens. “James, we’ve been living together for almost a year…why can’t I ask you about your past?”
“Cause everythin’ you need to know about my past is wrapped up in your nice little folder and we don’t need to be discussin’ anythin’ else,” he retorts. Juliet falls silent as she waits for him to make a move on the chess board, debating on whether to follow through with her next words.
“Did you really sleep with Kate a lot?”
He glowers into his beer can. “What the hell?”
“Relax, James. It’s just a question. Your move.”
He lets out a sigh, moving his piece beside hers. “She forced herself on me. That’s all, okay? ‘Sides, ain’t here to talk about her.”
Juliet nods. “Okay. Just wondering, that’s all.”
They lapse into silence and James bites his lip, trying to downplay the annoyance that he feels beginning to spread inside him. He stares at the board before he speaks again. “Did…did you ever sleep with Jack?”
“God, no,” Juliet bursts out quickly with a shake of her head, and he can’t help it, it bothers him that she doesn’t even seem shaken by his question. “Why would I do that?”
“I dunno…” He fiddles with his chess piece, not knowing what else to say. Juliet regards him curiously.
“James. Are you okay?” Her eyes are trained downwards towards his hand, and he realizes he’s gripping the black knight with so much force that his knuckles are turning white.
“Yeah. Fine.” He absently places the piece on the table and pushes it into an empty square. Juliet folds her arms, assessing for longer than he thinks she means to before she places her own knight down.
“Checkmate.”
“Son of a bitch!”
Juliet leans back in her chair, a slight grin emerging, but James doesn’t return the smile.
“Why did you gotta go do that?” He’s muttering, swiping the pieces from the board and placing them on the table.
“Do what? You’re the one who wanted to play,” she reminds him. He shakes his head.
“Not the game. The whole damn thing about bringin’ up the past.”
Juliet furrows her brow, reaching across the table for his hand. “I just…I want to be able to talk.”
“Well, we can talk without knowin’ everythin’.” He snatches his hand back and she sighs in response.
“What the hell is this about?”
He doesn’t answer at first and Juliet gets up, rounding the table to stand over him. He finally looks up.
“Okay. Why didn’t you ever sleep with Jack?”
She looks taken aback as she places herself on his lap, running a hand down the side of his face. “I never slept with Jack because I never wanted to,” she says matter-of-factly. He closes his eyes, not wanting to hear himself say his next words.
“And it don’t…it don’t bother you that I slept with Kate?”
Juliet doesn’t answer, and the silence hangs between them with a tension as awkward as the sentence before it.
“I would lie to say it doesn’t,” she says finally. “But…it’s something I try not to think about. You were different, then. And we didn’t really know each other. Not like we do now, anyway.”
He knows he should take her words with comfort, but instead, the only thing he can think about is how much he doesn’t deserve her to believe them. He sighs.
“Why do you think you can do this, Juliet?”
She looks confused. “Do what?”
James throws up his hands. “Erase my past, pretend I’m someone I’m not. You know damn well who I am, and that ain’t ever gonna change.”
A look of slight hurt passes across her face, and it’s so subtle that he knows he would have never picked it up if he hadn’t come to know her like the back of his hand. He lowers his head, and she wraps her arms around his neck.
“James…whoever you were before all this…before and even after you came to this place…I choose to not believe that. It doesn’t matter who you were. It only matters who you are.”
He finally allows himself to meet her gaze. “You know I ain’t a good person. You know I ain’t the perfect boyfriend, I sure as hell ain’t never gonna be the perfect daddy…”
His words are cut short by the feel of her lips against his and when she pulls back, she’s regarding him with one of the most serious looks he’s seen in awhile.
“I don’t care about those things. I don’t care about who you slept with…or who you were or what you did. I care about you.” Juliet pauses. “I care about your bad cooking, the fact that you hog all the covers at night…your inability to clean anything in the house…and the fact that you really can’t play chess.” She says the last words with a small smile, and he finds himself smiling in return. Feeling slightly less self-doubtful, he wraps his arms around her shoulders.
“So before I go defendin’ my chess skills, then…you really believe all that? All that stuff about this bein’ now and not matterin’ who you were before?”
There’s another look that passes across her face, but he can’t quite figure it out - it’s a mixture of sadness, regret and loneliness and before he can process what it might mean, it’s gone.
“I have to,” Juliet says quietly. She leans her head against his chest and in that moment, he finds himself comforted by the fact that even though he may not ever be okay with himself, she was okay with him, and that was all he needed, really.