Uh, guys?
You know that I don't usually talk too much about my personal problems but things got a little crazy last night and I think its best I just beat the lunchtable gossip and let you hear it from me first. I was seriously just minding my own business reading some obscure and very pretentious art magazine at Barnes and Noble, not wanted anyone to notice me and my superior intelligence at all, when all of a sudden some bitch spilled her latte ALL OVER ME. And then somehow I got into a fight with my mother on the phone. And then I think...and this is just an inkling...I may have accidentally joined the Illuminati.
Okay, okay, I know what you are thinking. Why did I have be so lame and join the least secret of all secret societies? Why couldn’t I have gone in for something truly hardcore, like a doomsday cult about to let loose a horribly annoying rash upon humanity or whatever faction of Mossad it is that sells newborn infants to aliens? Yeah, I’m disappointed in myself as well. But there’s still time for all that. And besides, they said they’d pay for college.
Anyway, I have to get to a robe fitting, so expect more updates as they come. Fortunately, our underground bunker is under a Starbucks, so I get fantastic wireless reception.
Okay, okay, I know what you are thinking. Why did I have be so lame and join the least secret of all secret societies? Why couldn’t I have gone in for something truly hardcore, like a doomsday cult about to let loose a horribly annoying rash upon humanity or whatever faction of Mossad it is that sells newborn infants to aliens? Yeah, I’m disappointed in myself as well. But there’s still time for all that. And besides, they said they’d pay for college.
Anyway, I have to get to a robe fitting, so expect more updates as they come. Fortunately, our underground bunker is under a Starbucks, so I get fantastic wireless reception.