ZOMFG!!1!!1!eleventy11!!!!!1!1!!!
YOU GUISE! There was fucking black widow hangin out in my car. I killed the bitch dead. TWICE!
So, I'm driving along, minding my own business, when I look up and there the bitch is, all, "Wazzup? I'm just kickin it here in my web on your fucking dashboard. How's it goin?" So I'm cool and I'm all, "Good, I'm good. You just stay right where you are for the next three miles and I won't make any sudden movements and we'll be juuuust fine." So she does and I do and then I parked in the driveway and hauled the Sprog out of the car to bed (she was asleep), came back and said "hey, brb" to the spider, grabbed a flashlight and a can of spider killer and sprayed her ass so much I started to cough and the dash looked like a puddle and the web was falling apart from the moisture and she was a wet little ball. It is at that point that I realized I have no mode of disposal, so I popped inside for the roll of paper towels right fast and when I trotted my victorious ass back to the car... BITCH HAS CLIMBED BACK UP ON HER WEB!! So now I'm mad, right. And I grab my trusty shoe and I SQUASH HER LIKE THE HUGE POISONOUS WHORE SHE IS. Phew. Busy night.
So, I'm driving along, minding my own business, when I look up and there the bitch is, all, "Wazzup? I'm just kickin it here in my web on your fucking dashboard. How's it goin?" So I'm cool and I'm all, "Good, I'm good. You just stay right where you are for the next three miles and I won't make any sudden movements and we'll be juuuust fine." So she does and I do and then I parked in the driveway and hauled the Sprog out of the car to bed (she was asleep), came back and said "hey, brb" to the spider, grabbed a flashlight and a can of spider killer and sprayed her ass so much I started to cough and the dash looked like a puddle and the web was falling apart from the moisture and she was a wet little ball. It is at that point that I realized I have no mode of disposal, so I popped inside for the roll of paper towels right fast and when I trotted my victorious ass back to the car... BITCH HAS CLIMBED BACK UP ON HER WEB!! So now I'm mad, right. And I grab my trusty shoe and I SQUASH HER LIKE THE HUGE POISONOUS WHORE SHE IS. Phew. Busy night.