hi, this is my life. can i get a second opinion please?
i asked my mom what her reasoning was behind not letting my friend come, and this is her response:
Sarah,
My "reasoning" on the issue of your friend not coming at Thanksgiving is to maintain my mental health. If your friend is gay, then I do not want her to visit. I feel that if I would accept her into my home then I'm saying it's OK for you to be gay. Being gay is your decision but I don't have to support it. Having her here would upset me and I really don't think you or I want that.
You are always welcome since you are our daughter.I'm sorry if this upsets you but you need to know that I'm not handling your decision well.
Mom
best part of this, my friend is straight. indian. and straight. but anyway, i anticipated this was her reasoning, so i wrote this before i got her email (but haven't sent it yet).
Mom,
When my friends, who have become my family when my own family was unavailable in times of need, are unwelcome at a holiday that celebrates life, loved ones, and togetherness, I have to reconsider whether I want to be part of such disrespect and ignorance. I was raised to demonstrate integrity, compassion, and acceptance. These values are the foundation of who I am and continue to strive to be.
I acknowledge that the past year has been extremely difficult for you. Though you told me you would always love me, I do not feel loved. I feel rejected and abandoned, and I refuse to pretend otherwise for anybody’s sake.
I hope that you realize you did not lose your daughter because she is gay, rather because you chose her sexual orientation as her defining characteristic. Everything that you loved about me is still a part of me.
I will not be joining you this year for Thanksgiving. Instead, I will celebrate the holiday with those who embrace, cherish, and love me for who I am. I will be thankful for their tender hearts and welcoming arms. I will also be thankful for being the woman you raised me to be-proud, strong, and beautiful as is.
~sarah
sooooo, did i miss anything? go overboard? i love how i'm making my life this "check in with friends." i've appreciated all the feedback i've gotten so far.....keep it up or i'll hate crime you :)
Sarah,
My "reasoning" on the issue of your friend not coming at Thanksgiving is to maintain my mental health. If your friend is gay, then I do not want her to visit. I feel that if I would accept her into my home then I'm saying it's OK for you to be gay. Being gay is your decision but I don't have to support it. Having her here would upset me and I really don't think you or I want that.
You are always welcome since you are our daughter.I'm sorry if this upsets you but you need to know that I'm not handling your decision well.
Mom
best part of this, my friend is straight. indian. and straight. but anyway, i anticipated this was her reasoning, so i wrote this before i got her email (but haven't sent it yet).
Mom,
When my friends, who have become my family when my own family was unavailable in times of need, are unwelcome at a holiday that celebrates life, loved ones, and togetherness, I have to reconsider whether I want to be part of such disrespect and ignorance. I was raised to demonstrate integrity, compassion, and acceptance. These values are the foundation of who I am and continue to strive to be.
I acknowledge that the past year has been extremely difficult for you. Though you told me you would always love me, I do not feel loved. I feel rejected and abandoned, and I refuse to pretend otherwise for anybody’s sake.
I hope that you realize you did not lose your daughter because she is gay, rather because you chose her sexual orientation as her defining characteristic. Everything that you loved about me is still a part of me.
I will not be joining you this year for Thanksgiving. Instead, I will celebrate the holiday with those who embrace, cherish, and love me for who I am. I will be thankful for their tender hearts and welcoming arms. I will also be thankful for being the woman you raised me to be-proud, strong, and beautiful as is.
~sarah
sooooo, did i miss anything? go overboard? i love how i'm making my life this "check in with friends." i've appreciated all the feedback i've gotten so far.....keep it up or i'll hate crime you :)