Essays do not equal statements by design!
I am such a hack. I can’t even write a proper statement of purpose. It sounds banal and contrived. They shouldn’t let me into the program based solely on my inability to put together a cogent thought. There is a red mark in the middle of my forehead from where I continued to bang my head against my desk.
Luckily, I’ve enlisted the services of my mother (a former cog in the English doctorate program at Purdue University) to help me with my essay. Maybe with her help I can at least sound like a decent human being rather than a blathering ass.
I found some helpful guides on the internet that explain how one should approach the graduate admissions essay. One even told me how to write a proper essay! I’m sorry, but if you’re applying to a graduate program and you don’t even know how to put together a coherent essay, you need to reconsider your academic goals. My essay may be complete drivel, but at least it’s put together in the proper format. That should win me some points with the admissions board.
What I do enjoy is the page that instructs me to think of myself in terms of the essay. It gives a load of questions to consider when writing. So I answered them in survey form, if only for the organization.
What’s also getting to me is that the graduate program I’m applying to calls the admissions essay a “Statement of Purpose.” I’m sorry, but when I think of a statement, I think of something short and to the point, not something that goes on and on for a thousand or so words. Statements are supposed to be concise. A statement of purpose, to me, is thus:
“I want to study in your program because I want to get a master’s degree in English.”
Apparently the school wants an essay to make it easier for them to weed me out. Sorry, guys, but I think my letters of recommendation will do that for me just fine.
I am not getting into this program. I can sense it. Or maybe that’s just the anxiety my mother instilled in me over the years.
~Mai