upon further review
Tonight we had our dinner with all the summer Conference staff and it was fun. My award related to why I had to dress up as a cop: I got the 'most likely to drop out of college and join UCA police department'. It was great. My favorite though went to a coworker whose award was 'most likely to make a cheerleader sleep in the hallway' award, because she had to do about 20 lockouts one night.
Now I am sitting in Conway Hall doing an overnight. I was tired and bored and so to amuse myself I started looking back over the past year's journal entries. It is always interesting to see how much I have grown and what about me and my ideas has changed over what really is such a short time.
It's funny how much I have cursed in the past year, but hey I love it. Seeing how much I had to deal with last year at opening and knowing that in two weeks I will be going through it again. In fact in one entry I was complaining about an apartment we were having to deal with when a friend messaged me and said if I had seen his apartment I would have screamed. My response to that was simply, I've already screamed. When I read that I busted out laughing.
Also to see how much my religious views have changed was incredible. Studying Wicca has been unbelievably rewarding. It has been fun to study a religion and not have someone tell me my ideas are wrong or that I should do it another way or, more importantly, made me feel bad for simply being me. I read an entry in which I, again, was mad at a Baptist preacher who thought I was losing my relationship with God, and I wrote about how happy I was not going to church anymore. Then I wrote that maybe I was "running from the judgment I am casting on my own heart." and thought how amazingly accurate that statement really was. i wasn't hiding from God so much as I needed to stop judging myself so harshly. Because I got so wrapped up in what a man was yelling at me from a pulpit I stopped listening to my own heart and inner voice. I kept thinking I wish they would trust me with my own soul, when I wasn't allowing myself to trust my own voice.
It was great to read about how obsessed I was with my literature this year. sorry you had to read about Victorian novels so much!! Classes were really stressful and hectic, and I know this year could possibly be worse because I'll also be applying to Grad school and trying to find and interview for grad assistant positions. The energy I had this year seems a little all over the place. It feels like my mind matured a lot. weird statement to say but a friend of mine told me that in your early 20's is when the brain is still developing into that of an adult's, and I certainly felt that way these last two years. I wouldn't give up my college years for any thing in the world. I have been so acclimated to college life over the past few years that i don't know what I'll do when I'm not going to classes and worrying about term papers all the time.
What I love about jobs is that, while they have stress I still don't get that sick stress feeling that I do when I am worrying about major projects, tests, or papers for school. This past semester was awful there at the end- I got so worked up about everything.
anyway this is long and I'm getting tired. time to get into another bed that is not mine- and that is not meant in a fun, thrilling way either!!
Now I am sitting in Conway Hall doing an overnight. I was tired and bored and so to amuse myself I started looking back over the past year's journal entries. It is always interesting to see how much I have grown and what about me and my ideas has changed over what really is such a short time.
It's funny how much I have cursed in the past year, but hey I love it. Seeing how much I had to deal with last year at opening and knowing that in two weeks I will be going through it again. In fact in one entry I was complaining about an apartment we were having to deal with when a friend messaged me and said if I had seen his apartment I would have screamed. My response to that was simply, I've already screamed. When I read that I busted out laughing.
Also to see how much my religious views have changed was incredible. Studying Wicca has been unbelievably rewarding. It has been fun to study a religion and not have someone tell me my ideas are wrong or that I should do it another way or, more importantly, made me feel bad for simply being me. I read an entry in which I, again, was mad at a Baptist preacher who thought I was losing my relationship with God, and I wrote about how happy I was not going to church anymore. Then I wrote that maybe I was "running from the judgment I am casting on my own heart." and thought how amazingly accurate that statement really was. i wasn't hiding from God so much as I needed to stop judging myself so harshly. Because I got so wrapped up in what a man was yelling at me from a pulpit I stopped listening to my own heart and inner voice. I kept thinking I wish they would trust me with my own soul, when I wasn't allowing myself to trust my own voice.
It was great to read about how obsessed I was with my literature this year. sorry you had to read about Victorian novels so much!! Classes were really stressful and hectic, and I know this year could possibly be worse because I'll also be applying to Grad school and trying to find and interview for grad assistant positions. The energy I had this year seems a little all over the place. It feels like my mind matured a lot. weird statement to say but a friend of mine told me that in your early 20's is when the brain is still developing into that of an adult's, and I certainly felt that way these last two years. I wouldn't give up my college years for any thing in the world. I have been so acclimated to college life over the past few years that i don't know what I'll do when I'm not going to classes and worrying about term papers all the time.
What I love about jobs is that, while they have stress I still don't get that sick stress feeling that I do when I am worrying about major projects, tests, or papers for school. This past semester was awful there at the end- I got so worked up about everything.
anyway this is long and I'm getting tired. time to get into another bed that is not mine- and that is not meant in a fun, thrilling way either!!