(no subject)

Dec 29, 2006 23:42

It's odd... how by forcing all negative aspects out of your life you can actually live peacefully day-to-day. I forced out, not too long ago, a boy because i liked him, but knew it would never work. He wanted to be friends, because he liked being my friend, but I couldn't deal with it. He didn't want to be forced out, but I shut him out of my life and because of it... I have been living so peacefully.

Maybe this persistent itchiness is the punishment i'm paying for that crime, but so be it.

I was in a dark period, for as long as I could remember. through 2 boyfriends and many short-term dating periods that I don't really consider to be anything other than just that. Perhaps it was my turning 20, and facing a new decade with a fresh perspective, or perhaps it was forcebly removing the bad, leaving only the good.

But whatever the reason I feel as though I am emerging from this dark period, like a train escaping the dark depths of a tunnel, crashing head on into the sun's light.

I made it through the holidays without feeling particularly lonely which is probably the first time since... i have no friggen clue when.

But now I walk forward to confront what lies down the road.
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