The wrong decision, part two, VI
Ianto's night was restless. He got up long before the sun come out and started playing on his piano since three o’ clock in the morning. He didn't know what kept him awake all night, and as his fingers ran fast along the keys he thought of the dreams that had haunted his sleep; Werth, and Jack were the major stars in them, and without being nightmares, Ianto woke up sweaty, tired with a hand resting over his fast beating heart.
Ianto felt so alone, cold with a craving he couldn’t understand.
John found him maniacally playing, four hours later. "Ianto?' he ran his fingers through his perpetual unruly hair. “What are you doing this early?”
“I couldn't sleep.”
John saw Ianto's pale face, red rimmed eyes and going close to him, he took him by the elbow. “Go have a shower. We're going for a walk. You have no classes today, and you've already been playing for a fair bit of time. Time to rest and clear your mind.”
“No. I have to study more.”
“What you have to do is rest! Breathe in some fresh air. Take it easy for a day.”
Ianto had already been in Paris for more than half a year, but he had seen little of it. John would make certain that for one day his young protégée wouls behave his actual age and have fun. By the afternoon, Ianto was showing signs of colour on his cheeks and John, after many months, saw a smile gracing the young face.
Treating Ianto an ice cream, they leisurely walked through Place des Victoires, an elegant square with symmetrical architecture, one of the oldest royal squares in Paris. At its centre, a few metres away from an equestrian statue of King Louis XIV, a painter was earning her money by making quick portraits of the passersby. John was instantly taken by her fiery red hair.
"Hello!" He said after she finished her work for the last customer.
"Oh look, two sticks in suits." Her London accent was more than welcome after months in Paris, despite the slightly unflattering welcome.
"Yes, that's us." Ianto broke in with a smirk. "Sticks in suits." He looked back at John. “I told you we had to wear something more comfortable.”
"And what does a pretty Welsh boy and a posh English man do here? Vacation? Honeymoon?"
"Posh? Surely not! Working actually." John replied. "I'm Dr. John Smith and this is my student, Ianto Jones."
"A Doctor? Really? Pleased to meet you. I'm Doctor Donna Noble. PhD, not MD, clearly."
"Same."
The two looked at each other with interest and Donna started gathering her painting tools. “Will you buy me a drink, Doctor?”
Ianto let John with Donna discuss their mutual habits and returned to their flat. He wanted to call Werth, but the last times they had talked over the phone his brother sounded distracted. There was a problem back in Cardiff but despite his certainty, Ianto wasn't certain if he wanted to get involved or not. After all, his brother's husband was a permanent feature of his daily thoughts, no matter how much Ianto kept pushing them away. In the end, he decided to let Werth ask his help, if he actually needed it.
*
“I can't believe you did this, Werth.” Owen’s voice was clipped and angry.
“Yes, you've said so before, many times, Owen.”
“You have to call and say the truth to Ianto.”
Werth stood, holding his nephew tightly in his arms. “How can you not understand that I'm doing this to protect Ianto? He's not at a right .. time to have a child! He cannot raise a child. You know that better than anyone else.”
“You aren't giving him a chance to make his decision, Werth. You say you do it for him, but we both know that's not truth, don't we?”
“How dare you, Owen? I love my brother more than anyone else!”
“I know! And that's what I don't understand. How can you be doing this when you love Ianto so much? This is lying to him!” Owen tried to calm down and lowered his voice, going with a different technique. “And what are you going to say to Jack?”
“Jack will understand.”
“Does Jack want a kid?”
“Let it rest, Owen.”
“And what? Do you think he's stupid? You can't even say you adopted the child. You have to tell him it's your child! And the baby, darker as he is, looks a lot like you with his blue eyes and…everything.” Owen concluded.
Werth’s eyes looked at the child again. Owen was right, other than the colour, Ianto’s kid had taken after his father, which meant he looked a lot like Werth.
“The eye colour may change.” He said softly, wishing it wouldn’t.
“Are you listening to what you say? Will you tell Jack it's your child?”
Werth stared at his friend, not knowing him for the first time after getting the baby from the hospital what to say to. He looked down at the treasure in his arms, so alike both Lisa and Ianto, as beautiful as his baby brother. From the first time he had laid eyes on him, he loved him; he didn't want to leave him in the hospital.
“Werth, the baby was born prematurely. If you tell Jack he's yours he'd assume you had an affair while being with him.”
“I'll tell Jack the truth. He'll understand.”
Owen left Werth alone murmuring to himself. “I doubt it!”
*
Werth let the days pass, not knowing what to say to Jack who called day after day. He had four days left to think how he'd explain the existence of the baby in their home, registered as his son, when Jack decided to surprise his husband and come home earlier than planned.
The surprise was all his, when he got home and found his husband lying on the sofa, watching Doctor Who on the telly and whispering soft words to a baby. A baby Werth was holding in his arms. And by baby Jack meant baby; it wasn't a euphemism. It was a human baby about a month old. Or maybe less.
Letting his suitcase drop on the floor with a bang, he stared down at Werth, who turned surprised eyes on him. He was instantly on his feet, baby still resting on his chest, Tom Baker totally forgotten. “Jack, you're back!”
“Did you miss me?” He asked looking sharply at the child who was still peacefully sleeping despite the disturbance.
Werth followed his example and gazed at the child. “Umm... Jack, this is Phillip.”
“Did you take babysitting while I was away as your main occupation?” Jack asked; an added hint of hope in his voice, even though he largely doubted that was the case.
Werth’s time for postponing the inevitable has ended. “No, not really. This is our son, well, my son but yours as well, if you decide to adopt him.”
“If I decide to adopt him...” Jack repeated slowly.
“Yes.”
The discussion was to Jack similar to the first time he had seen a Salvador Dali painting; it made no sense. He wondered what exactly he should feel, what the situation was exactly, and everything seemed overly surrealistic, as if it wasn’t happening to him. “Did you adopt him?”
“No.”
“Did you kidnap him or something? Never mind. I'm going for a shower. When I come back, I want to truth.”
Werth stared after his husband dejectedly. He called after Jack quietly.
“Jack?”
Jack turned around and seeing the sadness in his eyes, he walked back, and hugged Werth -and the baby with him. “We're OK. I only want the truth.”
Werth however, still didn't know what to say to Jack. Which of the two would be easier for Jack to accept? A lie or the truth? His brain was screaming at him to find an answer; and soon. Jack never delayed in the bathroom. Well, unless Werth was in the shower with him.
The truth. He had to confess the truth. Jack would understand.
The moment he saw Jack descending the stairs however what he said was not the truth. “Phillip's mine.”
Jack sat next to the still sleeping baby and took him in his arms. Werth stiffened for a while until he saw Jack knew what he was doing. “You know...”
“I had a younger brother. Gray.”
“Why haven't I met him?”
“He's dead. So this, Phillip, is yours.” Jack’s eyes bored into him, seeking the truth.
“Yes.” Werth nodded, not meeting Jack’s eyes.
“How?”
“Come on Jack, you know how kids are made.” Werth said as he stood and start walking on the wooden floor.
“Indeed. I also know when you are lying to me. And now you're lying.”
Werth sighed. “Okay… His mother died after birth. She was a friend of mine, she asked me to look after him, and gave the hospital my name as the kid's father.”
“And you accepted it?”
“Yes. What could I do? Send him to an orphanage? No way!”
Jack silently agreed with Werth. No child should grow up without parents, warmth, a home to call his own. “And you wanted a child, right.”
Jack didn't want to raise a child. After Gray, he never again wanted the responsibility of a young kid. He looked at Werth and then at the warm weight on his lap, when Phillip's eyes opened and Jack's breath caught on his throat. “You're lying to me again, Werth” he said to his husband.
“What? No! I'm not!”
Staring down at the deep blue eyes of the child, Jack knew it was too early to be certain they would remain this colour so familiar, so loved. He somehow instantly knew the truth.
“Phillip isn't yours.”
“Of course he is.”
“Don't lie to me.” He stood, taking Phillip with him, resting the boy’s head on his shoulder. “Does Ianto know?”
Werth closed his eyes in despair. Or maybe he was relieved he wouldn’t need to hide the truth any more. “How...?” He started to ask but changed his mind. “No, he doesn't.”
“You have to tell him!”
“That’s what Owen said as well.”
“Owen’s right.”
“Listen to me Jack. I know Ianto. Due to his illness he didn’t have a childhood, he spent his early teenage years in a hospital, never doing what his age-mates did. And then, fresh out of the hospital he met Lisa and he thought he loved her, never knowing otherwise, and confusing love with lust. The moment she left him, he decided to follow his dreams away from here. Yes, if I tell him he’ll come back to raise Phillip, but what about Ianto? His wants, his needs, his stolen childhood?”
“It’s not your decision to take, Werth.”
“The hell it is! I won’t see my brother losing his dreams once again. And we can raise Phillip, you and I, together, we’ll give him a family and love, so much love.”
Phillip chose that moment to wake up, and started crying. Jack looked at this boy, Ianto’s child, maybe, just maybe, this was his chance to correct his own decision, and have something of Ianto in his life. “Phillip’s hungry.”
The next morning, they prepared the papers for the adoption.
Owen and Jack looked at each other hoping Werth was right and they were actually giving Ianto a chance instead of robbing him of a precious treasure.