(no subject)
gargh the missing chris experiance has begun. been doing stupid things like re organising my work into different coloured folders and sorting out my clothes into keep and go to oxfam piles to keep the feelings at bay. may even resort to cleaning things to distract my worried mind, although this will be the last distracting-mind-event. It's ok until i speak to him and i realize how stupidly far away he is, currently India, and how i can have no idea about the things he is seeing and experiancing. I miss talking to him about the insignificant things i've done each day, going for cold muddy walks which are still enjoyable, playing scrabble, watching crappy movies late into the night . I miss his weirdness, and bad fashion sense. I can see where this is going, me blindly seeing his good points because he's not here to remind me that he's human
i can't believe how gushy and sentimental that paragraph is
a month to go until Bangkok. I must be a good studious child and keep my energy focused
i'm feeling, for the first time ever, really afraid of failure. i want to go back in time and shake my stupid 15 year old self for not caring about herself or where she is going. i just have to go to Uni. have to get the two B grades
oh yeah i was accepted for essex unis sociology course, although i'm not if thats an attractive prospect to me really, leaving colchester would be more fun
My interview was alright, extremely hard to tell how i did. the lady did not give any indication whether what i was saying made sense or was babbling bullshit. it did make me feel accomplished however, doing this almost entirely by myself. Although i was literally the only person there without their parents
fingers crossed anyways
i can't believe how gushy and sentimental that paragraph is
a month to go until Bangkok. I must be a good studious child and keep my energy focused
i'm feeling, for the first time ever, really afraid of failure. i want to go back in time and shake my stupid 15 year old self for not caring about herself or where she is going. i just have to go to Uni. have to get the two B grades
oh yeah i was accepted for essex unis sociology course, although i'm not if thats an attractive prospect to me really, leaving colchester would be more fun
My interview was alright, extremely hard to tell how i did. the lady did not give any indication whether what i was saying made sense or was babbling bullshit. it did make me feel accomplished however, doing this almost entirely by myself. Although i was literally the only person there without their parents
fingers crossed anyways