How to Prove Chewbacca and Ghengis Khan are Actually Compatible in Six Easy Steps
Wrote 90% of this in August before becoming distracted by real-life and computer death. Found part of it on back-up disk. Decided rest of the world should suffer too. And, for probably the first time ever, I have to put a rating on the rant- at least PG-13 for the final paragraph. In fact, you should probably not read the final paragraph anyways. And if slash or fish offend you, this is not a good essay to read.
I like canon pairings. Well, most canon pairings. And since I’m not stupid or suicidal enough to start talking about which canon pairings I don’t like, I’ll try and get to the point. Although I like canon pairings and enjoy reading about them, the vast, vast majority of the stories I write involve alternate pairings. In my case, it’s an extension of my obsession with alternate realities- when I write, the road not traveled fascinates me. And I particularly love thinking about why two people may or may not be involved and what it would take to change that. Because I am so going to become that old lady with forty cats, the room full of Harlequins and the telephoto lens.
For similar reasons, I enjoy reading alternate pairings. That is when they don’t make me want to scoop out my eyes with a fork made of hand-carved plot bunny femur. In the interests of attempting to keep my eyeballs in my head, I have composed the following list of things that I try to force myself to keep track of when writing alternate pairings. Not that I’m necessarily the expert or always successful in my attempts, but damn it all, alternate pairings do have more things to take into account than canon pairings and if this list helps anybody else half as much as it helps me, I’ll consider it worth my eyeballs.
I call it the “Alternate Pairing Reality Check” or
“How to Prove Chewbacca and Ghengis Khan are Actually Compatible in Six Easy Steps”."
In order to make my ramblings make more sense I’ll even give an illustration of what to do for each of the steps using the title example. See? I’m helpful.
1) Acknowledge canon pairings.
They’re there.
They may make less than no sense to your Bunnies of Reason, but they do exist. Like dirty diapers, they may stink but you can’t ignore them and if you’re really careful, you can change them without disturbing a whole lot of feces ;)
And, also like dirty diapers, I will keep returning to them at regular intervals in my little spiel, because they’re vital to the health of any plausible story.
So from the title example: Chewy = Han Solo
Ghengis Khan = Yo (great-great-great…) Mama
2) Acknowledge why canon pairings exist in first place.
Although it can be very, very tempting to break up canon pairing Z because character Y is an abusive pisci-eur who is on a constant look-out for public goldfish nudity while beating and/or ignoring his long-time girlfriend, this generally isn’t a good idea. Really.
It is tempting -and fun- to write stories where the significant other is an utter asshole who ultimately gets his/hers, when the pairing of ‘twu lub’ happens. However, generally even characters that are assholes have a little more depth in canon, and using this depth will make for a much stronger story. Put it this way- if he/she’s such a one-dimensional bastard, why was she/he stupid/gullible enough to go out with him/her in the first place? People change and grow- relationships don’t necessarily end because of fireworks. Even if they do end because of fireworks or abuse, highlighting what made it work in the first place makes it that much more tragic and gut-wrenching. Giving depth to the characters, while difficult, is ultimately rewarding by both making the situation plausible and giving an idea why the new relationship may work through commonalities and differences with the old relationship.
From the title example: Chewy/Han- What else are you supposed to do with all that adrenalin from smuggling spices athletic travel plans?
Ghengis Khan/Everyone between Mongolia and Rome: What else are you supposed to do with all that adrenalin from pillaging Eurasia athletic travel plans?
3) Why would this alternate pairing work, based on the existing characteristics of the characters involved?
In a poor attempt at not being obvious, let us say there exists a fandom. Let us call this fandom ‘X’. In fandom ‘X’ there is a main female character who is smart, bossy, manipulative, obsessive, stubborn and sometimes dense in that special way that academically smart people are often dense. She may or may not be attractive, but she definitely doesn’t look or dress the part and her hair is described as a ‘bushy mess’. In this fandom the most popular pairing by far for this character is an alternate pairing that will never, ever happen in canon (in fact the creator has even gone on record as saying that the pairing will never happen in canon). Now as far as I’m concerned this would normally make me very happy (Lots of alternate realities! Whee!). Except… Except… For some unfathomable reason the only way the vast majority of people writing this pairing seem to be able to see it working is to turn her into a Barbie doll. A stupid, insipid Barbie doll who would never ever come across as an overbearing shrew. And, in one truly horrifying instance, a porn star Barbie doll who said that she felt a lot better now that she didn’t have to be smart and could earn money by sleeping with lots of men on camera.
I could go on but… Change is good. Change is important. People will grow differently in different relationships with different people. The key is- if you have to turn your characters into completely different people in order to get them together in the first place, then there is obviously something tragically flawed either with the pairing or the way it’s being written. The exception to this of course being where a life-changing event was what brought them together in the first place. But really? The very core of a person doesn’t change. How they grow and act on that core will, but unless you give very, very good reasons for Pod-Person Hermione it’s going to turn me off more than my lunch.
Take the existing characteristics of the characters involved- figure out what they have in common, what will create sparks and what will just create friction. Try to figure out what the core characters of each of them are and how those characteristics might come out in this relationship. And if all else fails and you can see no way to mesh their personalities, you can always write a species transformed Porn Without Plot because no matter what, given half a chance, bunnies will shag like well, bunnies.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan (Shared Traits): Their personal hygiene matches.
They both know a lot about spice runs. And horsepower.
They can commiserate over how the constant travel wreaks havoc on their sense of self and connection to people as individuals rather than faceless nonentities howling in existential angst as they burn their houses/steal their cargo.
*They both like bunnies.
*This would be an example of a trap that is easy to fall into- author incorporation of character traits for the pairing that are not stated in canon but somehow get incorporated into fanon because someone decides that two random characters like bunnies. No idea how that might happen.
4) Why does the alternate pairing not exist in canon?
a. Is it a proximity issue?
Have the two characters never met in canon? Are they currently in different towns/galaxies/time periods/realities? These are often the easiest canon considerations to overcome in alternate pairings and some of my favourite to write. If two otherwise compatible people are separated by means unrelated to their personalities or societal restrictions, it’s often relatively straightforward to come up with ways to make them meet and work from there. The key with this is to make their meetings plausible, so if they’re separated by five hundred years there better be a damn good reason for the sudden burp in time. Caveat to this- things like language and superficial social custom need to be resolved here somehow as well. There are many ways around this though so it's really not worth it to just pretend it's not an issue.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: With the large number of generally incomprehensible, hirsute men working under Ghengis Khan, we can’t rule out the possibility that the writers of the history books were too busy getting raped and pillaged to pick up on his Wookie bit on the side. However, the fact that Lucas Arts would have announced their plans to go back in time to sue Ghengis’ ass for copyright infringement sadly convinces me that this was not the case.
b. Is it a relationship that would be considered taboo within the society/canon universe (i.e. conflict between families, incest, inter-religious, human/demon, inter-species, inter-cultural, generational gap, opposite sides of a war, authority conflicts etc.)?
I like to call this the ‘Romeo/Juliet’ clause, although it often gets a lot more complicated than mere inter-family conflict. Two otherwise compatible people separated by barriers beyond their control is the basis of most bodice-rippers. Not to mention thinly disguised fish pron like “The Little Mermaid”. Never trust the pisci-eurs. These kind of relationships can often be smashingly hot in the short term and extremely thorny in the longterm, but the crux of the conflict with them is that often the people themselves don’t have a conflict but the society they belong to does. What this means is that, barring a story based on their complete and total upheaval of societal mores (or, with slightly more probability, their own personal prejudices), any chance this relationship has for long-term success is going to be based on secrecy, tolerance or removal from the disapproving society. Do you really think Tom Hanks and his volleyball would have made it if they weren't castaways on a deserted island? And really- you do need to take this into consideration. Many of these stories sort of wave away the problems as soon as the bodice has actually been ripped, but if you want any level of plausibility they are going to have to eventually be addressed in some fashion. On the plus side, it is a great way to explain why two hot very hot 'compatible' people have never actually hooked up in canon ;) Often much more easily written as a PWP (Phish Without Phins).
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: I can’t see what might be remotely taboo about this relationship.
c. Is there a painful history between them/do they have a backstory that would lead to conflict?
I like to make a distinction between societal separation and personal separation because frankly, at least in the short term, a personal conflict can be a lot harder to overcome. If someone’s killed your father and slept with your dog it might be a little hard to imagine starting a relationship with them. Characters with a lot of background conflict are a lot of fun to write in relationships, but the conflict can’t just be waved away. It’s important that yes- A *is* upset that B killed his dog and doesn't just er… roll-over. The nifty thing about this is that once personal conflict has been dealt with on some level, the characters don’t necessarily have to worry about pissing the rest of the world off, depending on how far their personal conflict extended. It is, however, important to remember that there are some things that will never be forgotten, puppy-loving probably being one of them. Great for those of you who like your bunnies served with a side of emo ;)
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Aside from that one Roman orgy… Nope. We're good.
d. Are both characters involved in existing relationships?
Getting back to the first part of my essay- you can’t just make existing partners disappear unless it’s an Alternate Universe/Reality (and yes, I know I did just this, but it was a challenge and the only way I could make the damn thing work. So I’m a hypocrite. Bite my fluffy bunny). So then you have a series of questions. Why did their initial relationship work? Why would it potentially fail? What would they be looking for in a new partner? How long would it take them to be able to look for a new partner? Would there be obstacles from their old relationship that would carry over into any new relationship? Would they just be looking for a hot no-fins-attached rebound hook-up?
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Chewie may have to orchestrate a break-up with snuggle-bunny Solo, but Ghengis is all ready for some *Wookie Nookie.
*I have to admit that the entire writing of this essay was based on me getting an opportunity to use that phrase.
e. Does their canon sexuality interfere?
Now one of the things that we can often take advantage of as fanfic writers is that very, very rarely do the actual writers of shows or books have their characters burst out, “I admit it. I am only attracted to three year old hermaphroditic wombats!” And unless a character actually directly states their sexuality we can kind of push it whatever direction we want for the pairings we’re most interested in. This doesn’t mean that we can ignore Statement 1. If you’re interested in a slash relationship for someone who has been in a longterm relationship with a woman, make him bisexual, make him deeply closeted, but don’t completely ignore the relationship. It will make the story a lot stronger. Really.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: I… I don’t think I’m going to answer this one. We’ll just say that they like bunnies. And not fish.
5) Why should this alternate pairing happen in the first place?
Though I freely admit to writing a number of alternate pairings just to see if they could be done plausibly, normally it helps to have an actual reason to want to put them together in the first place. Depending on how important the actual relationship is to the story it could be as simple as helping to back up a complicated plot line without much need to worry about actual compatibility. The thing is, to write a story, the alternate pairing needs to prompt, well, a story. If you're just going to write a standard PWP without any identifying characters, it seems rather pointless to use an unconventional pairing when any two names in there could work just as well. What would bringing these two together do? Why might they come together, either romantically or from a plot perspective? What would the interaction of their specific personality traits cause?
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Because nothing says true love like two hairy men riding off into the sunset.
6) What’s the lifespan of this pairing and what does that mean for the pairing?
Depending on whether you want to write a five minute quickie or an eternal Big Bang to Little Whimper kind of love there will be different challenges involved in not just establishing the relationship but in maintaining it through the course of the story. Just like in real life, the longer the relationship last, the more issues that have already been mentioned in this rant are going to cause problems. So what it comes down to then is that different timelines dictate different types of stories. Different focuses. Different ways of making the couple make sense. Ultimately the most realistic timeline of the relationship you choose to focus on is what is going to differentiate a snapshot of a quick spawning from a documentary of a thirty-year migratory trek up-stream.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Did you know that 8% of the members of the Asian sub-continent have genetic traits specifically linked to descent from Ghengis Khan? What does that mean for relationship longevity… Well, I guess it depends on how Chewy feels about very, very open relationships.
And now, having laid done the suggestions, I proceed to ignore some most all of them to leave you with this.
Chewy landed the ship with a little more energy then necessary. Now that Han was busy shagging the wonder twins, he was the one sent on all these crap reconnaissance missions. It was hardly his fault that he'd accidentally blown up Kessel on his last spice run and now all the wealthy stoners of the universe needed a new source of mind destruction. It hadn’t been a fit of petulance either- good thing Han still didn't understand some of the more creative Wookie curses. It would never have worked anyways. Solo was far too naked- had no appreciation for good fur.
Chewy slowly emerged onto the planet's surface in search of these Ope-ee-yum farmers only to come face to face with… With…
With the most magnificently hairy man he'd ever met.
Language was irrelevant, social convention had never factored. Hell, even the fact he looked vaguely like someone who once slept with the Millenium Falcon (tramp that she was) mattered not.
They grunted the same way and everything else was irrelevant.
Their overwhelming chemistry could not be denied.
As they fell to the dirt together, Chewy wondered a bit irritably what the fish with the binoculars were doing hiding behind that shrubbery.
I like canon pairings. Well, most canon pairings. And since I’m not stupid or suicidal enough to start talking about which canon pairings I don’t like, I’ll try and get to the point. Although I like canon pairings and enjoy reading about them, the vast, vast majority of the stories I write involve alternate pairings. In my case, it’s an extension of my obsession with alternate realities- when I write, the road not traveled fascinates me. And I particularly love thinking about why two people may or may not be involved and what it would take to change that. Because I am so going to become that old lady with forty cats, the room full of Harlequins and the telephoto lens.
For similar reasons, I enjoy reading alternate pairings. That is when they don’t make me want to scoop out my eyes with a fork made of hand-carved plot bunny femur. In the interests of attempting to keep my eyeballs in my head, I have composed the following list of things that I try to force myself to keep track of when writing alternate pairings. Not that I’m necessarily the expert or always successful in my attempts, but damn it all, alternate pairings do have more things to take into account than canon pairings and if this list helps anybody else half as much as it helps me, I’ll consider it worth my eyeballs.
I call it the “Alternate Pairing Reality Check” or
“How to Prove Chewbacca and Ghengis Khan are Actually Compatible in Six Easy Steps”."
In order to make my ramblings make more sense I’ll even give an illustration of what to do for each of the steps using the title example. See? I’m helpful.
1) Acknowledge canon pairings.
They’re there.
They may make less than no sense to your Bunnies of Reason, but they do exist. Like dirty diapers, they may stink but you can’t ignore them and if you’re really careful, you can change them without disturbing a whole lot of feces ;)
And, also like dirty diapers, I will keep returning to them at regular intervals in my little spiel, because they’re vital to the health of any plausible story.
So from the title example: Chewy = Han Solo
Ghengis Khan = Yo (great-great-great…) Mama
2) Acknowledge why canon pairings exist in first place.
Although it can be very, very tempting to break up canon pairing Z because character Y is an abusive pisci-eur who is on a constant look-out for public goldfish nudity while beating and/or ignoring his long-time girlfriend, this generally isn’t a good idea. Really.
It is tempting -and fun- to write stories where the significant other is an utter asshole who ultimately gets his/hers, when the pairing of ‘twu lub’ happens. However, generally even characters that are assholes have a little more depth in canon, and using this depth will make for a much stronger story. Put it this way- if he/she’s such a one-dimensional bastard, why was she/he stupid/gullible enough to go out with him/her in the first place? People change and grow- relationships don’t necessarily end because of fireworks. Even if they do end because of fireworks or abuse, highlighting what made it work in the first place makes it that much more tragic and gut-wrenching. Giving depth to the characters, while difficult, is ultimately rewarding by both making the situation plausible and giving an idea why the new relationship may work through commonalities and differences with the old relationship.
From the title example: Chewy/Han- What else are you supposed to do with all that adrenalin from smuggling spices athletic travel plans?
Ghengis Khan/Everyone between Mongolia and Rome: What else are you supposed to do with all that adrenalin from pillaging Eurasia athletic travel plans?
3) Why would this alternate pairing work, based on the existing characteristics of the characters involved?
In a poor attempt at not being obvious, let us say there exists a fandom. Let us call this fandom ‘X’. In fandom ‘X’ there is a main female character who is smart, bossy, manipulative, obsessive, stubborn and sometimes dense in that special way that academically smart people are often dense. She may or may not be attractive, but she definitely doesn’t look or dress the part and her hair is described as a ‘bushy mess’. In this fandom the most popular pairing by far for this character is an alternate pairing that will never, ever happen in canon (in fact the creator has even gone on record as saying that the pairing will never happen in canon). Now as far as I’m concerned this would normally make me very happy (Lots of alternate realities! Whee!). Except… Except… For some unfathomable reason the only way the vast majority of people writing this pairing seem to be able to see it working is to turn her into a Barbie doll. A stupid, insipid Barbie doll who would never ever come across as an overbearing shrew. And, in one truly horrifying instance, a porn star Barbie doll who said that she felt a lot better now that she didn’t have to be smart and could earn money by sleeping with lots of men on camera.
I could go on but… Change is good. Change is important. People will grow differently in different relationships with different people. The key is- if you have to turn your characters into completely different people in order to get them together in the first place, then there is obviously something tragically flawed either with the pairing or the way it’s being written. The exception to this of course being where a life-changing event was what brought them together in the first place. But really? The very core of a person doesn’t change. How they grow and act on that core will, but unless you give very, very good reasons for Pod-Person Hermione it’s going to turn me off more than my lunch.
Take the existing characteristics of the characters involved- figure out what they have in common, what will create sparks and what will just create friction. Try to figure out what the core characters of each of them are and how those characteristics might come out in this relationship. And if all else fails and you can see no way to mesh their personalities, you can always write a species transformed Porn Without Plot because no matter what, given half a chance, bunnies will shag like well, bunnies.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan (Shared Traits): Their personal hygiene matches.
They both know a lot about spice runs. And horsepower.
They can commiserate over how the constant travel wreaks havoc on their sense of self and connection to people as individuals rather than faceless nonentities howling in existential angst as they burn their houses/steal their cargo.
*They both like bunnies.
*This would be an example of a trap that is easy to fall into- author incorporation of character traits for the pairing that are not stated in canon but somehow get incorporated into fanon because someone decides that two random characters like bunnies. No idea how that might happen.
4) Why does the alternate pairing not exist in canon?
a. Is it a proximity issue?
Have the two characters never met in canon? Are they currently in different towns/galaxies/time periods/realities? These are often the easiest canon considerations to overcome in alternate pairings and some of my favourite to write. If two otherwise compatible people are separated by means unrelated to their personalities or societal restrictions, it’s often relatively straightforward to come up with ways to make them meet and work from there. The key with this is to make their meetings plausible, so if they’re separated by five hundred years there better be a damn good reason for the sudden burp in time. Caveat to this- things like language and superficial social custom need to be resolved here somehow as well. There are many ways around this though so it's really not worth it to just pretend it's not an issue.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: With the large number of generally incomprehensible, hirsute men working under Ghengis Khan, we can’t rule out the possibility that the writers of the history books were too busy getting raped and pillaged to pick up on his Wookie bit on the side. However, the fact that Lucas Arts would have announced their plans to go back in time to sue Ghengis’ ass for copyright infringement sadly convinces me that this was not the case.
b. Is it a relationship that would be considered taboo within the society/canon universe (i.e. conflict between families, incest, inter-religious, human/demon, inter-species, inter-cultural, generational gap, opposite sides of a war, authority conflicts etc.)?
I like to call this the ‘Romeo/Juliet’ clause, although it often gets a lot more complicated than mere inter-family conflict. Two otherwise compatible people separated by barriers beyond their control is the basis of most bodice-rippers. Not to mention thinly disguised fish pron like “The Little Mermaid”. Never trust the pisci-eurs. These kind of relationships can often be smashingly hot in the short term and extremely thorny in the longterm, but the crux of the conflict with them is that often the people themselves don’t have a conflict but the society they belong to does. What this means is that, barring a story based on their complete and total upheaval of societal mores (or, with slightly more probability, their own personal prejudices), any chance this relationship has for long-term success is going to be based on secrecy, tolerance or removal from the disapproving society. Do you really think Tom Hanks and his volleyball would have made it if they weren't castaways on a deserted island? And really- you do need to take this into consideration. Many of these stories sort of wave away the problems as soon as the bodice has actually been ripped, but if you want any level of plausibility they are going to have to eventually be addressed in some fashion. On the plus side, it is a great way to explain why two hot very hot 'compatible' people have never actually hooked up in canon ;) Often much more easily written as a PWP (Phish Without Phins).
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: I can’t see what might be remotely taboo about this relationship.
c. Is there a painful history between them/do they have a backstory that would lead to conflict?
I like to make a distinction between societal separation and personal separation because frankly, at least in the short term, a personal conflict can be a lot harder to overcome. If someone’s killed your father and slept with your dog it might be a little hard to imagine starting a relationship with them. Characters with a lot of background conflict are a lot of fun to write in relationships, but the conflict can’t just be waved away. It’s important that yes- A *is* upset that B killed his dog and doesn't just er… roll-over. The nifty thing about this is that once personal conflict has been dealt with on some level, the characters don’t necessarily have to worry about pissing the rest of the world off, depending on how far their personal conflict extended. It is, however, important to remember that there are some things that will never be forgotten, puppy-loving probably being one of them. Great for those of you who like your bunnies served with a side of emo ;)
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Aside from that one Roman orgy… Nope. We're good.
d. Are both characters involved in existing relationships?
Getting back to the first part of my essay- you can’t just make existing partners disappear unless it’s an Alternate Universe/Reality (and yes, I know I did just this, but it was a challenge and the only way I could make the damn thing work. So I’m a hypocrite. Bite my fluffy bunny). So then you have a series of questions. Why did their initial relationship work? Why would it potentially fail? What would they be looking for in a new partner? How long would it take them to be able to look for a new partner? Would there be obstacles from their old relationship that would carry over into any new relationship? Would they just be looking for a hot no-fins-attached rebound hook-up?
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Chewie may have to orchestrate a break-up with snuggle-bunny Solo, but Ghengis is all ready for some *Wookie Nookie.
*I have to admit that the entire writing of this essay was based on me getting an opportunity to use that phrase.
e. Does their canon sexuality interfere?
Now one of the things that we can often take advantage of as fanfic writers is that very, very rarely do the actual writers of shows or books have their characters burst out, “I admit it. I am only attracted to three year old hermaphroditic wombats!” And unless a character actually directly states their sexuality we can kind of push it whatever direction we want for the pairings we’re most interested in. This doesn’t mean that we can ignore Statement 1. If you’re interested in a slash relationship for someone who has been in a longterm relationship with a woman, make him bisexual, make him deeply closeted, but don’t completely ignore the relationship. It will make the story a lot stronger. Really.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: I… I don’t think I’m going to answer this one. We’ll just say that they like bunnies. And not fish.
5) Why should this alternate pairing happen in the first place?
Though I freely admit to writing a number of alternate pairings just to see if they could be done plausibly, normally it helps to have an actual reason to want to put them together in the first place. Depending on how important the actual relationship is to the story it could be as simple as helping to back up a complicated plot line without much need to worry about actual compatibility. The thing is, to write a story, the alternate pairing needs to prompt, well, a story. If you're just going to write a standard PWP without any identifying characters, it seems rather pointless to use an unconventional pairing when any two names in there could work just as well. What would bringing these two together do? Why might they come together, either romantically or from a plot perspective? What would the interaction of their specific personality traits cause?
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Because nothing says true love like two hairy men riding off into the sunset.
6) What’s the lifespan of this pairing and what does that mean for the pairing?
Depending on whether you want to write a five minute quickie or an eternal Big Bang to Little Whimper kind of love there will be different challenges involved in not just establishing the relationship but in maintaining it through the course of the story. Just like in real life, the longer the relationship last, the more issues that have already been mentioned in this rant are going to cause problems. So what it comes down to then is that different timelines dictate different types of stories. Different focuses. Different ways of making the couple make sense. Ultimately the most realistic timeline of the relationship you choose to focus on is what is going to differentiate a snapshot of a quick spawning from a documentary of a thirty-year migratory trek up-stream.
Chewy/Ghengis Khan: Did you know that 8% of the members of the Asian sub-continent have genetic traits specifically linked to descent from Ghengis Khan? What does that mean for relationship longevity… Well, I guess it depends on how Chewy feels about very, very open relationships.
And now, having laid done the suggestions, I proceed to ignore some most all of them to leave you with this.
Chewy landed the ship with a little more energy then necessary. Now that Han was busy shagging the wonder twins, he was the one sent on all these crap reconnaissance missions. It was hardly his fault that he'd accidentally blown up Kessel on his last spice run and now all the wealthy stoners of the universe needed a new source of mind destruction. It hadn’t been a fit of petulance either- good thing Han still didn't understand some of the more creative Wookie curses. It would never have worked anyways. Solo was far too naked- had no appreciation for good fur.
Chewy slowly emerged onto the planet's surface in search of these Ope-ee-yum farmers only to come face to face with… With…
With the most magnificently hairy man he'd ever met.
Language was irrelevant, social convention had never factored. Hell, even the fact he looked vaguely like someone who once slept with the Millenium Falcon (tramp that she was) mattered not.
They grunted the same way and everything else was irrelevant.
Their overwhelming chemistry could not be denied.
As they fell to the dirt together, Chewy wondered a bit irritably what the fish with the binoculars were doing hiding behind that shrubbery.