not so much around as just a flat circular thing, maybe more oval
I haven’t been around lately. A fault of mine. And possibly RL.
Tonight I realized I wasn’t really reading LJ all that much either. I still like Supernatural, but things have happened that have made me ambivalent about liking, or looking forward to, anything.
When I think about LJ, I think about writing, about reading stories of fictional characters, or real-life people in fictional settings. There was a time when I devoured anything I could set my eyes on for any length of time. These days however nothing seems to keep me interested. If it doesn’t pull me in within the first three sentences, I end up simply closing the tab. Sometimes I think my ‘quality meter’ has risen into the clouds, leaving me behind somehow. Perhaps I’m expecting too much. Or maybe even reading has lost its appeal.
Writing-that formerly joyous pursuit of other realities-has become a fickle creature with no sense of habit whatsoever. It comes, it goes, it leaves very little behind with which to work. A miserable miscreant if there ever was one. And I am despondent over its absence.
Even so, my Writing folder is slowly filling up with just-started stories that I wish could find their way to the finish line so some sense of finality might finally wash over me, instead of seeing all of them there, mocking me. Like a lover in a coma whose body still looks so delectable but you know that no type of touch would elicit even so much as a twitch of lips. They’re there, and yet they’re not. Might as well bury them now.
Might as well toss out the typewriter/keyboard.
It’s what I think about: might as well just delete all those half-finished stories and give up the ghost. And yet, there I go again, stumbling on yet another unlooked-for writing apparatus that I think-hope-might resurrect the muse.
A favourite icon of mine had been the one which said something along the lines of: when I get stuck I simply change the font. And it is what I used to do. And many times it worked.
And then it lost its glamour…