(no subject)
I weigh 94-95 pounds in the morning, with clothes of course, because as far as I'm concerned that's my real weight. I gain almost 3 pounds during the day, usually I purge. Last night, however I kept my dinner, and my non-fat latte and weighed 97.5 after the latte.
My mom found out I've been purging after she saw that some food was gone, and it was food she knows I'd never eat and keep. She said, "I hope you'll be happy when you die."
She's given me a few back massages while I've been here, because wrapping presents really hurts my back. Anyways, every time she goes on about my lack of muscle and fat. Then, she stops the massage because it bothers her to see me "wasting away." She thinks I should be over all this shit because it's been 5 years,and now I'm almost 23 years old, so enough is enough.
I don't know what to believe. I'm not scared of death, I'm more scared of having to go into the hospital and having to get to 110 pounds before they let me leave. Therefore, I just cannot drop below this weight because I will most certainly be hospitalized.
I'll write more later.
My mom found out I've been purging after she saw that some food was gone, and it was food she knows I'd never eat and keep. She said, "I hope you'll be happy when you die."
She's given me a few back massages while I've been here, because wrapping presents really hurts my back. Anyways, every time she goes on about my lack of muscle and fat. Then, she stops the massage because it bothers her to see me "wasting away." She thinks I should be over all this shit because it's been 5 years,and now I'm almost 23 years old, so enough is enough.
I don't know what to believe. I'm not scared of death, I'm more scared of having to go into the hospital and having to get to 110 pounds before they let me leave. Therefore, I just cannot drop below this weight because I will most certainly be hospitalized.
I'll write more later.