"i'm getting bold in my old age"
inside, i have short hair.
so what is this exploration in length?
is it forcing myself to see the feminine side of me? Is it that fact that finally i CAN explore the feminine side of me?
Should i shave half my head? length dangling on one side of my head, all i would have to do is turn my head to face the other way, you wouldn't see me. you would see what you wanted to see, you would see what i wanted you to see, but if you chose to look me straight in the eyes, you would have to look me straight on and see my disproportionate nature. My {uneven} self that is gold&blue and green&purple and black and white and all the thousands of shades they can be.
go on, ask me
ask me if i care
i've got the answer here
i wrote it down some where
i've just gotta find it
my truth tears are returning. welling up at any sign of truth, or connect or true connection. I pushed them down, having been pointed out, they ran away like anything other than a dear in the headlights. Frozen in place yet running as fast as possible.
Running in place?
That's what i've been. Frozen still, running in one place. Teetering on the fence. I have been everything and nothing and the time has come to start making decisions.
making choices.
trusting those choices or at least trusting that i MADE a choice.
accepting mistakes? i suppose that's what it would be.
accepting imperfection.
more than accepting - EMBRACING.
i must embrace myself in my entirety.
Step off the fence whether or not i see ground there.
Whether or not i like the colour of green the grass is on whatever side i land on. Whether or not there IS grass or life or air or breath, because there is definitely nothing here but this damned fence and it's starting to poke me in the ass. Maybe it's the fence that's got me goin'.
I am still stuck here, i am still fighting everything i know
or think i know
i am still fighting the self i know
but now i know
now i know
at least i know.
And knowledge can become wisdom.
it's not so hard.
it's not so hard
it's not so hard.
just step off...
so what is this exploration in length?
is it forcing myself to see the feminine side of me? Is it that fact that finally i CAN explore the feminine side of me?
Should i shave half my head? length dangling on one side of my head, all i would have to do is turn my head to face the other way, you wouldn't see me. you would see what you wanted to see, you would see what i wanted you to see, but if you chose to look me straight in the eyes, you would have to look me straight on and see my disproportionate nature. My {uneven} self that is gold&blue and green&purple and black and white and all the thousands of shades they can be.
go on, ask me
ask me if i care
i've got the answer here
i wrote it down some where
i've just gotta find it
my truth tears are returning. welling up at any sign of truth, or connect or true connection. I pushed them down, having been pointed out, they ran away like anything other than a dear in the headlights. Frozen in place yet running as fast as possible.
Running in place?
That's what i've been. Frozen still, running in one place. Teetering on the fence. I have been everything and nothing and the time has come to start making decisions.
making choices.
trusting those choices or at least trusting that i MADE a choice.
accepting mistakes? i suppose that's what it would be.
accepting imperfection.
more than accepting - EMBRACING.
i must embrace myself in my entirety.
Step off the fence whether or not i see ground there.
Whether or not i like the colour of green the grass is on whatever side i land on. Whether or not there IS grass or life or air or breath, because there is definitely nothing here but this damned fence and it's starting to poke me in the ass. Maybe it's the fence that's got me goin'.
I am still stuck here, i am still fighting everything i know
or think i know
i am still fighting the self i know
but now i know
now i know
at least i know.
And knowledge can become wisdom.
it's not so hard.
it's not so hard
it's not so hard.
just step off...