Very important fandom question!

[ana_grrl]

My work is not interesting me, and writing fic isn't working for me either. Therefore, I ponder a very important question - which characters would I want on my side if I was living in a zombie-infested world?

Conclusion:

1. Teyla (SGA) - Teyla's attitude towards zombies would be 'Bitch, please.' She's lived in a galaxy infested with Wraith!

Comments

[dessert_first]

SO. DIFFICULT!!!

Okay, I think I've finally struck a workable balance between talents.

Sam and Dean - (They're a unit! I'm counting them as one!) Agreeing with everyone above, this is their job and if anyone of the group is likely to know how to most efficiently eliminate zombies, it would be them. Plus Sam’s psychic powers might serve as a pre-zombie attack warning system.

Fred - good at survival, and her genius adapts to both magical and scientific innovations. She could probably find some way to neutralize the zombie threat, be it a weapon, a cure, a spell or, heck, a portal. If all else fails, we can escape through the portal.

Rodney - could be bullied into building some sort of zombie-disabling device, though he might sneer at Fred for not having finished that first PhD. Being stuck in a hell dimension is no excuse, you know.

Zoe - we need some level-headed brawn, and she could probably wrangle Rodney when he started freaking out.

Faith - kicking zombie ass with style! Faith would actually enjoy the challenge of keeping off the scary hordes of zombies, and she knows how to use a wide variety of weapons.

Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP - as commented above, it would be good to have a nature-y, tracker, foraging kinda guy to keep us in fuel cells and edible roots and berries. Plus, he just might be able to talk the zombies into politely taking their leave. After all, it only takes an extra moment to be courteous.

Ronon - he would kick zombie ass! And would also be really good at survival on the fly, scavenging food, hiding, and so on, from his years as a Runner. Between him and Fraser, we’d be set for our practical survival needs.

Them zombies don't stand a chance!

I was so sad I had to cut so many people, I might be forced to come up with an alternate zombie-fighting team. Plus, I fear I might be dead weight on my own team. I bring, um, moral support? And the willingness to function as a partner for any team member(s) needing to release tension and dispel fears through life-affirming sex?

[ana_grrl]

I was so sad I had to cut so many people, I might be forced to come up with an alternate zombie-fighting team.

Hee! That's what I was thinking too, as I posted. I was thinking about the ultimate other-team that I would want to meet up with. I think it would consist of - Jayne, Zoe (for their ass-kicking powers), Helo (survival experience in a post-apocalyptic world!), Sharon (Cylons have no patience for zombies, omg), Zelenka (wiry and snarky and good at making things we might need), and Teal'c. Because he's Teal'c!

Anyway, I agree that Fraser would be an asset - especially in a nature setting. Faith and Rodney would be a lot of fun (especially when goading each other).

I bring, um, moral support? And the willingness to function as a partner for any team member(s) needing to release tension and dispel fears through life-affirming sex?

Yes! See? We'd all have an important role! Life-affirming sex is very, very key (Also, it helps people get a little sleep when they're really keyed up).

[dessert_first]

Yes, I was really sad I had to cut Jayne. I'm glad you're including him in the alternate team!

Anyway, I agree that Fraser would be an asset - especially in a nature setting.

Yup. Plus, after posting I realized he's always got stashes of homemade all-natural ointments and salves and crap, so between him and field-medic basics Zoe, they'd be able to patch up any wounded team members and keep us going.

I feel like your first team is more solution-oriented and your second team is more survival-oriented. Together, you could have an uberteam! I'm just sayin'.

Also, now I kinda want to write the story where my Team A journeys across the barren, zombie-laden post-apocalyptic landscape to seek out and neutralize the source of the zombie threat. And to find Team B.

[ana_grrl]

Plus, after posting I realized he's always got stashes of homemade all-natural ointments and salves and crap, so between him and field-medic basics Zoe, they'd be able to patch up any wounded team members and keep us going.

So true! Take that, zombie hordes!

I feel like your first team is more solution-oriented and your second team is more survival-oriented. Together, you could have an uberteam

Ah, man. It's so beautiful! They would kick a lot of zombie ass, and be smart and skilled while doing it.

Also, now I kinda want to write the story where my Team A journeys across the barren, zombie-laden post-apocalyptic landscape to seek out and neutralize the source of the zombie threat. And to find Team B.

I ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO WRITE THIS SO MUCH THAT I AM NEARLY AWASH WITH WANT.

...it's just...it would be so cool!

[dessert_first]

For reasons that don’t need exploring at this juncture, the world has been overrun by zombies. Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP, missed the first wave (or, truthfully, the first few waves) of panic and destruction, being stationed in a remote outpost in the Yukon at the time. Eventually, the overlong lack of communication from his superiors moved him due South, where he learned of humanity’s current state of crisis.

He has since fallen in with a loose band of survivors, constantly on the move, adopting new members to their little tribe as they come across them. Miss Burkle has a theory regarding an epicenter of power located somewhere on the West coast of the United States. After much grumbling, Dr. McKay agrees with her, owing to some energy readings unusual enough to command his attention. Fraser refuses to give in to despair, so he changes course readily, calculating the odds of finding what he seeks to be better than most if he accompanies the group due West. There is, after all, something to be said for safety in numbers, though Ray would doubtless be shocked to hear him admit such a thing. Diefenbaker agrees to accompany him, despite the extreme difficulties inherent in aquiring donuts under such circumstances. Fraser is deeply grateful for his company.

They are all armed with machetes for safety, Ronon having liberated some from an abandoned Home Depot in the early stages of their journey. Fraser leads, using his compass to direct their journey. Ronon and Zoe flank him, heavily armed and alert at all times, freeing him to study his surroundings. In the middle of their little phalanx are Miss Burkle and Doctor McKay, who complains bitterly about ill-timed vacations and wormholes and gates of some sort. Miss Burkle seems to ignore him, muttering to herself, glasses slightly askew, scribbling calculations on the backs of her hands with one of Faith’s broken eyeliners. Faith and Diefenbaker flank the scientists, keeping a watchful eye out for attack. The Winchester brothers bring up the rear, shotguns in hand, mirroring each other in the almost military precision of their movements. Any approaching zombie is dispatched quickly and efficiently by the means of blasting their heads off.

It is by no means an ideal situation, but Fraser cautiously allows himself a slight sliver of hope. It is a luxury, certainly, but one they can ill afford to do without.

“Just a little further,” he says, and the others nod.

The team moves on, their pace unflagging.

***

And now I kinda need a zombie primer if there is to be any more of this. Is it just beheadings that will stop them? What about fire? Will it kill them? Are they afraid of it? Anything else I should know?

[ana_grrl]

Hee! This is great! And I love Fraser's voice - 'Ms. Burkle' is perfect. Oh, and Rodney would bitch about his vacation timing! Glad Dief is there too - I think a dog/wolf is important in a zombie context.

Zombie primer - Based on Max Brooks' book:
- head shots/heads cut off/something that disconnects head from body is the way to stop them.
- zombies can't climb
- zombies seem to have some kind of extrasensory ability to sense people, even if the people are super-quiet
- they aren't afraid of anything - they are mindless and just running on instinct
- zombification is spread by a virus - if you are bitten, you will turn into a zombie, even if you immediately amputate the bitten area.