(no subject)
Oh my goodness. I am in BIG trouble. I am officially moved back in with my parents which is much sooner than I had expected but I'm glad. Correction. Was glad. Here's the thing. I saw that Dying to Dance was coming really early one morning and I really wanted to see it, but I knew that if anyone heard me downstairs they would join me and I didn't want anyone to see me watching a movie about anorexia. So I left the PVR on and set it to record so I could watch it when noone was home. The problem was that my parents decided they couldn't sleep and went down to watch TV and it was recording. So they watched it! This was really early Sunday morning. so yesterday my mom kept bugging me about food at work and I told her I was just too stressed with the move and she wouldn't leave me alone. So I asked the doctor if I could leave early to get more moving done because we had no patients scheduled and he said of course. Then last night, my dad came in my room and started asking me really weird questions. Like for instance. How seriously are you taking dance, and I've noticed that you have lost more weight. I just said it was probably because I have been lifting a lot of boxes and been so busy. I thought he bought it and then later my mom asked me why I recorded a movie about anorexia. Yikes! I told her that I just thought it was a movie about ballet and I hadn't even watched it yet, which was true. So... I watched it home alone this morning. It pointed out EVERYTHING! Why!?! It showed the lying, the avoiding meal times, the excessive exercise, everything.
I am so stupid! Why did I have to record that movie? I loved it, but it wasn't worth this. I'm really freaking here! I know that I can still get out of breakfast and most dinners, but lunch is going to be tough as well as dinner on the nights that my dad is home. I am so dumb. I've dropped 2 more pounds and I can't afford to have it screwed up for me now! I could really use any suggestions you girls might have!
Sorry for the bad post, but I just really had to talk to someone about this. I really messed up and I can't afford any more oopses. What if my mom decided to search my room like this stupid mom in the movie did?I have put my calorie counters, my scale, my novels about EDs, and my nutrition logs in a box in the bottom of one of my drawers. I doubt she would look there. Help anyone! Please :(
Luv Always, DEE
P.S. Here is some awsome encouragement that I'm sure all of the dancers in here will appreciate but everyone should enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uz2Gp7a38DM
I am so stupid! Why did I have to record that movie? I loved it, but it wasn't worth this. I'm really freaking here! I know that I can still get out of breakfast and most dinners, but lunch is going to be tough as well as dinner on the nights that my dad is home. I am so dumb. I've dropped 2 more pounds and I can't afford to have it screwed up for me now! I could really use any suggestions you girls might have!
Sorry for the bad post, but I just really had to talk to someone about this. I really messed up and I can't afford any more oopses. What if my mom decided to search my room like this stupid mom in the movie did?I have put my calorie counters, my scale, my novels about EDs, and my nutrition logs in a box in the bottom of one of my drawers. I doubt she would look there. Help anyone! Please :(
Luv Always, DEE
P.S. Here is some awsome encouragement that I'm sure all of the dancers in here will appreciate but everyone should enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uz2Gp7a38DM