Disturbance
Title : Disturbance
Author : an_jung
Chara : OhMiya
- Ninomiya Kazunari
- Ohno Satoshi
Genre : romance-Angst
Warning : angst! unbeta. Eng isnt my mother language! a lot of typos!
I change few lyrics and the sequence of lyrics.
Big thanks to Archy who help me make the banner ^^
Douzo....
Ninomiya's POV
I can no longer remember the way you used to look at me
and your warm hugs
I open my eyes, just to find cold space beside me. The place where he should sleep and give wramth to our bed. I take his cold pillow, hug it. Inhale all of the scent that left behind.
Still hugging his pillow, i find something shinning in the table beside out bed. I take a closer and pick the item. Our ring. I look at the shinning ring and put it back.
When i step out i find Him in the middle of wearing a necktie. I take a step closer. I could sense that he know my presence. He turn his head and look at me with his cold eyes.
"Satoshi?" i ask him.
"I have jobs," without other word, He just go out
He left me behind after slam the door. Without giving me any hugs nor kissed, Satoshi just left our house. Its Not like the usual Ohno that i know.
When did we stop becoming frank;
no longer being able to understand each other
I drag my feet to Arashi's greenroom. I turn the knop and welcomed by Sakurai with his newspaper, Matsumoto and Aiba with their phone. And Satoshi, who peacefully sleep. I drop my bag in the table and sit beside him. He probbaly know someone sit beside him, so he open his left eye, just to look at me in seconds before swifting his posistion.
"Satoshi. When you come home? why did i dont know?" i try to ask him, opening conversation.
"Its none of your bussiness. I have jobs. i am not told you to wait me," He answer me with just mumbling.
"Jobs? What kind of?"
"Why you so persistant? its not involve with you. Just usual individual jobs,"
When he answer me like that, i know i cant ask anything. even i want to know, even i want to use force so he talk to me. I just can stop asking and be quite. I open my bag and take out my movie scrip. I need something to distract me.
Our slowly changing attitudes is too cold, unable to grasp
As we gradually become tired and cold (to each other)
I couldnt do anything and i hated myself more for that
Finnaly i come to our house after endless jobs for today. I found Satoshi's shoes in the gekkan, so i though he already in the home. I hurriedly go to living room. But i am not found him leisuring in our sofa. Instead I see Satoshi doing packing about his fishing stuff. I know, he will leave me again in the coldness of night.
"Satoshi," i call his name silently.
Satoshi just give a simple 'un' without looking at me. I take a step closer. But he just lift his fishing bag and slump to his shoulder. He take his cap and wear it. Without look at me, Satoshi step to go out. I grab his jacket's sleves, stoping him.
"Can you postpone your fishing? Can you accompany me? Satoshi?"
"Dont be childish. You can do it by yourself. Dont wait for me,"
He pull his arm and just go out from our home. I felt my knee gettting weaker, i just sit in the floor where Ohno left me.
"I am afraid, Satoshi. I am afraid. Please come back," i dont have guts to said it to him, so i just whisper it to the night breeze, maybe it can come to him.
You, no longer able to look straight into my eyes
You, no longer try to read my heart
You, no longer try to understand my sadness
"I love you", were these words not enough?
"Nino," I heard he called me after a while.
I turn my head just found him leaning in my bedroom door. I look at the clock in
the wall. its already noon, no wonder he alredy come back here.
"Nandayo, Satoshi?" i ask him smoothly.
I see him take a deep breath, but still looking on my room's tatami. I still waiting for him to answer or just say something.
"Ive bring back some fish. I already pack in your refrigerator,"
"Is that so? Then, ill cook for you too," I try to cheerfull and ready to going down from my bed.
"You dont need to. I just want to inform it. Then, ill just get going first," He said as he go out from my room.
I hurriedly get down from my comfortable bed, not minding my slipper. I just run to him. I hug him from behind when he tying his shoes. He isnt stop and continue what his doing. I rest my head to his shoulder whispering something that we rarely said nowadays.
"Oh-chan. You know. I love you. I really love you,"
I get dissapointment when he just take off my hand and heading out. Without giving answer or say anything to me. I just left downfounded and can only look at the closed door.
I was clueless initially, thought it was because we was too busy
Your calls and dates with you grew less
I thought that if I waited, you would come, I should have understood you
But you drifted even further away
Few days had already passed. I try to contact him. But his phone is always on busy mode. So i cant got through him. Then my schedulle suddenly being so packed. My filming really use a lof of time.
This was the 5th time i try to call Satoshi. My filming got dellayed. So i think i can have some chit chat with him. This time too, he arent answering my call even though is not in busy mode. I try to call his manager too, but he said he isnt with Satoshi.
This time i try to send Satoshi a massage, or an email, or what its called.
To : Oh-chan <3
From : Kazu
Oh-chan, my filming got canceled. Should we go for a date?
Lets meet up in our usual park.
I will wait for you Oh-chan...
love you...
I told my manager to drop me on the park when i and he usually have our date. Well, our date is not like other that in bar or classy restaurant. We just walk together, hand in hand, talking about anything. Just the two of us.
I decide to sit in one long bench in the park to wait for him. I look at my surrounding, the leaves already falling from its branch. The road was full of brownish leaves. I thighten my jeacket when i feel autumn breeze greets me.
I still waiting for him when one hour already passed. I know the temperature already down again. The sun were ready to setting, back to its horizon. But i stilll here, in same bench, without moving any inch from my spot.
Two hours already passed after i sit in this bench. I start to feel cold. But i still here. I already sent massage to him, telling my possition and such. I already tried to call him again, but still he never answer my calls.
In the end, i waited for him for almost 4 hours. Until the park get really quite and pitch dark. If i counted, i texted him more than 10 times, called him more than 20 times. But i get no answer. Then, i just call cab and head back to our appartment. This night, my tears were broke again when i know he is not in our appartment. I dont need to go over the gekkan, when i know he will not come home. This time, i broke down for countless time.
I am standing in here, in the same place
But i cant see you
The road I no longer can trace back
So, please come find me, Hurry, and save me
Satoshi havent come back to our appartment for over two days. I am crazily missing him. Even we meet on Arashi's show for tapping. He only talk to me when cameras are rolling. And then, he dissapear as fast as the autumn breeze. Left nothing just His scent that slowly drift away too.
"Tadaima," I said in small voice.
I know no one in this home. I drop my jacket and my bag, going to kitchen to pick a beer can before gulp it down. I take another can then slowly going to his workroom. I open the door just to found lonely room.
I walk to white canvas in the middle of the room. I take to one of the brush, dip it in the paint that had used before. I stroke the brush and make our name in the white canvas. I put a heart sign in the middle and smile at that.
I turn my gaze for the entire room. This room probably be his favorite in this house instead our bedroom. I can imagine what he dis in this room. Doing something he like the most. Its pity for me, because i cant be his favorite. maybe, he just mind me as an intruder in his life, am i right?
On The day Where everything ended in quick moment
After snapping out of it, i realized i was really alone
There was really only me who is crying like a fool
i really cant thing about anything
I take few canvas and stack it together. I just want to tidying this room. But suddenly, the door were swung open. I turn my head and looking at him who stand in front of the room.
"Oh-chan?"
"What are you doing in my room, Nino?"
"Ah, no. I just want to take a look,"
"Then go out. I dont want you to come in this room again. This room is privately only for me,"
I take a deep breath before turning to him and give him look right to his eyes, "Why cant i? Why? Who am i to you? Am i your lover? Or i just some stray person you put to live together? Tell me! I always try to understand you. Sorry ive been very busy so we cant have time for date. You know my schedule. I try to do something so we can have date. But last time you arent turn up neither reply my massage and my calls. Then tell me, Satoshi, tell me, did you ever consider me as your lover? did our time living together never meant anything for you?" I shout at him with my eyes full of tears.
"Ne, Nino. Ill leave this house. You can keep living in here, i dont mind. Ill pack my belongings later. Ja ne,"
With these word, he stomp out from our house. I try to come up with him. I follow him until he squat down in the gekkan to wear his shoes.
"I love You" Maybe i just wanted to hear these word
That was you
"Satoshi. Can i ask onething for the last time?"
He turn back and look at me, his eyebrow were frowning. I take it as yes and smile at him.
"Do you ever love me? Because i will always love you. Aishiteru, Satoshi,"
"Nino, I've loved you,"
"Then, its fine. I just want to hear your "i love you" to me,"
Because the only one i want is hearing you saying love to me for the last time. From You, that have all my heart.
END
Angella's Note :
Yeay!!! finnaly i am back!!!
actually i have written this fic for a long of time. but i dont have heart to post fic about breaking!Ohmiya. SO, i just post it now. AFter all, its my first Ohmiya Fanfic.
Anyway! i am in the middle of searching for someone who already post it online of digitalian DVD. I already too late to buy the dvd -.-
Oh! i am in holiday, right now! so maybe ill catch with some fanfic!
See you!!!! ^^
Comment are apreciate..