Pleased to meet you, take my Hand but there is no way back from here
I am kinda late on this one but I didn't really have the motivation to make a new years update until now so here goes
I'll start off with this years Christmas break,
This years break was full of a constant depressed, sad, and a feeling of being left out and it was easily one of the worst Christmas(s) I have ever had. Christmas day was crap because of the fact that I am a big person on tradtion around this time of year and well it completely changed. Normally we have a big 8' tree in our window and people always compliment me on how pretty it looks because as you drive by it illuminates that section of our house. But this year my mom bought a 6' tree and its like an anorexic trig compaired to it and it made me sad when my mom saidthe other one was going tobe throw away. I don't know why it hurts me so much maybe its because when I was younger my sister my mom and my grandma would always decorate it and it would look amazing and it would always give me the feeling that christmas was right around the corner. But as we got older we all grew distant I think it also has to do with my grandma's death she would always force us to work on it in a joking way and it was always a great time.
I would always sleep on the couch right next to the lit up tree and my grandma would always sleep in the recliner and we would always be the first two up and we would just sit and talk for a handful of hours until the rest of the family made their way down. I miss her so much it really hurts. When she first died over 2 years ago it didn't really hit me. But the more I think about how empty Christmas has been its hard to deal with and I just want it to be the same like it once was.
My birthday was pretty laid back I went to the lube with a new group of friends that I recently made and honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way. Normally my birthdays suck because its 3 days after christmas and no one ever remembers except for a handful of people and thats the end of that. In 17 years I never had a party or some sort of social gathering except for a dinner or two. Its pretty sad and normally I don't care but as I been getting older and people always say their having a big ass birthday party and I feel left out. But either way this year was good to be with some of my close friends that are actually around my age.
New Years was easily the best part of break. I spent it with some of my best friends and yeah it was my real first experience with adult beverages but thats aside from the point I was with people who have the decency to invite me to hang out and have a good time. Its pretty sad that I didn't see any of my friends in school over break aside from Sam. I guess I know where my real friends lie and I have finally realized this, I thought when I became friends with "The Inner Circle" that I would always be the bitch dog that people boss around all the time, for awhile it was but I realized that with time you gain respect and with respect you gain trust and with trust you gain great friendships. They take care of me and I appreciate that, I don't know of anyone that would do the same in my grade now. I finally realize what my dad has been telling me all these years, I have found my true best friends and I don't intend to let them go.
So here is to a new year full of endless chances and here is to a hell of a year that I can put behind me, bring it on 2008 bring it on.
I'll start off with this years Christmas break,
This years break was full of a constant depressed, sad, and a feeling of being left out and it was easily one of the worst Christmas(s) I have ever had. Christmas day was crap because of the fact that I am a big person on tradtion around this time of year and well it completely changed. Normally we have a big 8' tree in our window and people always compliment me on how pretty it looks because as you drive by it illuminates that section of our house. But this year my mom bought a 6' tree and its like an anorexic trig compaired to it and it made me sad when my mom saidthe other one was going tobe throw away. I don't know why it hurts me so much maybe its because when I was younger my sister my mom and my grandma would always decorate it and it would look amazing and it would always give me the feeling that christmas was right around the corner. But as we got older we all grew distant I think it also has to do with my grandma's death she would always force us to work on it in a joking way and it was always a great time.
I would always sleep on the couch right next to the lit up tree and my grandma would always sleep in the recliner and we would always be the first two up and we would just sit and talk for a handful of hours until the rest of the family made their way down. I miss her so much it really hurts. When she first died over 2 years ago it didn't really hit me. But the more I think about how empty Christmas has been its hard to deal with and I just want it to be the same like it once was.
My birthday was pretty laid back I went to the lube with a new group of friends that I recently made and honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way. Normally my birthdays suck because its 3 days after christmas and no one ever remembers except for a handful of people and thats the end of that. In 17 years I never had a party or some sort of social gathering except for a dinner or two. Its pretty sad and normally I don't care but as I been getting older and people always say their having a big ass birthday party and I feel left out. But either way this year was good to be with some of my close friends that are actually around my age.
New Years was easily the best part of break. I spent it with some of my best friends and yeah it was my real first experience with adult beverages but thats aside from the point I was with people who have the decency to invite me to hang out and have a good time. Its pretty sad that I didn't see any of my friends in school over break aside from Sam. I guess I know where my real friends lie and I have finally realized this, I thought when I became friends with "The Inner Circle" that I would always be the bitch dog that people boss around all the time, for awhile it was but I realized that with time you gain respect and with respect you gain trust and with trust you gain great friendships. They take care of me and I appreciate that, I don't know of anyone that would do the same in my grade now. I finally realize what my dad has been telling me all these years, I have found my true best friends and I don't intend to let them go.
So here is to a new year full of endless chances and here is to a hell of a year that I can put behind me, bring it on 2008 bring it on.