"Epiphany" - River + Jayne Ficlet
Firefly first version of fic: Epiphany
pre-Rayne, sort of
If someone had warned Jayne, before he'd agreed to work for Mal, about all the situations, messes, scrapes, and general trouble he'd get into, he might have decided a bunk of his own wasn't worth it.
They'd been walking through a forest - biggest in the system, the folk there claimed - and somehow or another everyone had gotten separated and subsequently lost. They'd tried to use their comms to find each other - 'Where are you now, Jayne? Any landmarks?', 'No Mal, just more ruttin' trees.' - but that had been unsuccessful. It was decided that they would all try to get out of the woods on their own and make their way to the ship.
Jayne, to everyone's surprise, had made it out first. He was a tracker, he knew how to look for signs of life, how to tell which areas were the most traveled, and how to tell where he had already been. The others weren't so lucky and he'd waited half an hour before Zoë had finally appeared. Mal came quickly after that, with dirt covering his boots and the lower half of his pants.
"Well as fun as this little venture has been," he'd said, "it's time for us to get gone."
"Not so fast sir." With a sigh, Zoë had pointed back towards the forest. "We're still waitin' on River."
“Oh. Well then.” Mal nodded, looking around absently. “Guess someone’ll need to go back in an’ look for ‘er.”
Jayne grumbled angrily to himself. "Ruttin' moonbrain," he seethed. "Gettin' me to run out all up an' down some gorram woods lookin' for her. She better be half-dead or eaten or else I'm rippin' 'er up myself."
"No ripping!"
Jayne yelped as River suddenly appeared upside-down in front of him. "You... Gorrammit! Don't you ruttin' do that! Feng le piece o' ruttin' Core-bred crazy pants. Y'can't just pop out like that on a fella - I could 'a' shot you."
She giggled, her hands covering her mouth. "Man-called-Jayne would not have shot me! Would have broadcast his movements and the girl would have easily gotten out of the way." She sat up and then jumped out of the tree. She landed in front of Jayne, smiling blithely. "Hello."
"Hello?! No, no ruttin' 'hello'. Get your skinny pi gu over here; we're gettin' the hell out o' these woods."
“But I am - “
“It’s time to go,” he said dangerously. “There ain’t no room for argument. Dong ma?”
She stuck out her tongue. “I am not done exploring.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, crazy, I must ‘a’ missed the part where I care!” He growled angrily, taking an imperceptible step forward. “Now you are gonna follow me back to the ship, an’ then we’re all gonna - “
“Catch me if you wish me to obey!” She bounced on the balls of her bare feet, grinning broadly.
“Oh, you best be kiddin’, little girl.”
River shrugged. “Man-called-Jayne can decide for himself.” And with that last little taunt, she ran off, her hair trailing behind her like a battle flag.
“You ruttin’ little…” Jayne growled again, swinging his fist angrily through air. He started running after her, feet pounding hard against the forest floor. “I’m goin’ t’catch you, moonbrain, an’ there ain’t no tellin’ what I’m ‘o’ do after, so you best stop runnin’ now so I may get to feelin’ merciful.”
“Faster, faster! Cannot catch me, I am an anthropomorphic piece of gingerbread!”
“What? How in the hell’s that make any sense?” He was gaining on her; she was quick, but he had longer legs - and shoes, too, though she seemed capable enough without them. “Ahh!” He grinned as he noticed her slowing. “Got you now.”
But capture, apparently, did not factor into River’s plans quite as much as it factored into Jayne’s. She turned to him and waved before starting to climb up the nearest tree.
“You… Get down here! Right the hell now.”
“No!”
“Girl…” That little pest was far more trouble than she was worth, and his already thin patience was beginning to give way. “Y’might think I ain’t gonna climb up there after you, but I’m tellin’ you know I’ll get right up and haul your ass out o’ there. Hell, I’ll cut down the whole tree if I have to.”
She swung down, her knees hooked on one of the lower branches. “Why are you so invested in ridding this forest of my presence?”
He let out an aggrieved sigh. “I don’t care if you stay there all gorram day, but Mal’s ready to get off this moon. An’ since they ain’t got a lick o’ direction ‘tween ‘em they sent me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance a little, leaving her in no doubt that his position was defensive and unyielding.
She swung her head a little back and forth, her hair following the movement like so many brown, stringy snakes. “Sent you?”
“Yeah, to come find you! Gorrammit, moonbrain, you just got to be difficult. Now get down. Now.”
She grinned. “Say please.”
He scowled. “No! Y’want to get pulled out o’ there? I’m doubt done askin’ nicely.”
“Very well.” River sighed, letting her arms dangle on either side of her head. “But you must catch the girl so she does not hurt herself when she drops.”
“Catch…? No! I don’t- “
“Oh well. She will never come down then. Stuck in a tree, alone forever! And the enraged captain stringing a poor mercenary’s testicles up - “
“Whoa!” Jayne stalked forward and poked her in the stomach. River just giggled and covered the spot where he’d poked her with both hands. “Ta ma de, you moonbrained little monkey, you got some kind o’ fascination with my balls? There ain’t no way you’re gettin’ near ‘em again.”
“Then you will catch me? Girl plus ground will only end in broken bones and splattered brains.”
Jayne rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like your brains ain’t splattered enough already.” He sighed and put his arms out. “Fine, you little maniac. Here! I’ll catch you.”
River smiled. “Man-called-Jayne is benevolent.” She laughed a little and flipped out of the tree. Grunting a little from the sudden weight, Jayne caught her, one arm under her knees and one across her shoulders. She beamed up at him. “And wise, as well. Would have stayed up there if you had not conceded.”
“Yeah, whatever.” He sighed again and raised an eyebrow at her. Knowing what he was saying, River braced herself. He dropped her; she landed gracefully on her feet. “Now let’s go,” he said, tugging at her arm. “We got us a ship to catch.”
River just made a quiet noise of agreement and started bouncing along behind him.
“Gorram crazy person,” Jayne grumbled. “More trouble’n she’s worth.”
“I can hear you!” she trilled.
“Oh? I don’t give a good gorram whether you hear me or not!” He sneered towards the trees in front of them. “Always up to no ruttin’ good - dumb kid.”
“Nope!” River jabbed his side, twirling quickly in front of him. “Childish antics do not a child make.”
Jayne stopped, glaring fiercely at the thin young woman in front of him. “Whatever, you moonbrain.” He made to start walking again, but River stopped him.
“It is true,” she said with a shrug. “The girl has lived for nineteen years. By any estimation that makes her…” She twirled around, tilting her neck until her ear was at her shoulder. She smiled darkly. “A woman.”
Jayne just rolled his eyes. “Then why do you act like such a ruttin’ child?”
Her enigmatic smile morphed into a full-fledged grin. “Because I am allowed to get away with it. I am the captain’s albatross, Simon’s precious mei mei , the crew’s unstable ballerina-assassin. Would be so unkind to deny her anything her crazy heart might decide it wants.”
“Y’mean… “ Jayne laughed, half derisively. “You been actin’ crazy all this time jus’ to pull the wool over on us?”
“No. I am crazy.” She spun around again. “But I am not so naïve.”
For a moment the big merc regarded her silently. Then he burst out in hearty guffaws, slapping his thigh once with unbridled mirth. “You… You got us all on strings, don’t you, you gorram genius?”
“It cannot be helped. As man-called-Jayne so astutely points out…” She pointed to herself, her thin lips curving into an easy smirk. “Genius.”
~~~
-Notes: This is version one. I want to add a sexy-sexy sort of Rayne bit in, but I haven't decided quite how yet. I think my head is about to explode with pain. Blahr.
Also, @willow_reece: I am almost done with the beta work on your fic!
pre-Rayne, sort of
If someone had warned Jayne, before he'd agreed to work for Mal, about all the situations, messes, scrapes, and general trouble he'd get into, he might have decided a bunk of his own wasn't worth it.
They'd been walking through a forest - biggest in the system, the folk there claimed - and somehow or another everyone had gotten separated and subsequently lost. They'd tried to use their comms to find each other - 'Where are you now, Jayne? Any landmarks?', 'No Mal, just more ruttin' trees.' - but that had been unsuccessful. It was decided that they would all try to get out of the woods on their own and make their way to the ship.
Jayne, to everyone's surprise, had made it out first. He was a tracker, he knew how to look for signs of life, how to tell which areas were the most traveled, and how to tell where he had already been. The others weren't so lucky and he'd waited half an hour before Zoë had finally appeared. Mal came quickly after that, with dirt covering his boots and the lower half of his pants.
"Well as fun as this little venture has been," he'd said, "it's time for us to get gone."
"Not so fast sir." With a sigh, Zoë had pointed back towards the forest. "We're still waitin' on River."
“Oh. Well then.” Mal nodded, looking around absently. “Guess someone’ll need to go back in an’ look for ‘er.”
Jayne grumbled angrily to himself. "Ruttin' moonbrain," he seethed. "Gettin' me to run out all up an' down some gorram woods lookin' for her. She better be half-dead or eaten or else I'm rippin' 'er up myself."
"No ripping!"
Jayne yelped as River suddenly appeared upside-down in front of him. "You... Gorrammit! Don't you ruttin' do that! Feng le piece o' ruttin' Core-bred crazy pants. Y'can't just pop out like that on a fella - I could 'a' shot you."
She giggled, her hands covering her mouth. "Man-called-Jayne would not have shot me! Would have broadcast his movements and the girl would have easily gotten out of the way." She sat up and then jumped out of the tree. She landed in front of Jayne, smiling blithely. "Hello."
"Hello?! No, no ruttin' 'hello'. Get your skinny pi gu over here; we're gettin' the hell out o' these woods."
“But I am - “
“It’s time to go,” he said dangerously. “There ain’t no room for argument. Dong ma?”
She stuck out her tongue. “I am not done exploring.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, crazy, I must ‘a’ missed the part where I care!” He growled angrily, taking an imperceptible step forward. “Now you are gonna follow me back to the ship, an’ then we’re all gonna - “
“Catch me if you wish me to obey!” She bounced on the balls of her bare feet, grinning broadly.
“Oh, you best be kiddin’, little girl.”
River shrugged. “Man-called-Jayne can decide for himself.” And with that last little taunt, she ran off, her hair trailing behind her like a battle flag.
“You ruttin’ little…” Jayne growled again, swinging his fist angrily through air. He started running after her, feet pounding hard against the forest floor. “I’m goin’ t’catch you, moonbrain, an’ there ain’t no tellin’ what I’m ‘o’ do after, so you best stop runnin’ now so I may get to feelin’ merciful.”
“Faster, faster! Cannot catch me, I am an anthropomorphic piece of gingerbread!”
“What? How in the hell’s that make any sense?” He was gaining on her; she was quick, but he had longer legs - and shoes, too, though she seemed capable enough without them. “Ahh!” He grinned as he noticed her slowing. “Got you now.”
But capture, apparently, did not factor into River’s plans quite as much as it factored into Jayne’s. She turned to him and waved before starting to climb up the nearest tree.
“You… Get down here! Right the hell now.”
“No!”
“Girl…” That little pest was far more trouble than she was worth, and his already thin patience was beginning to give way. “Y’might think I ain’t gonna climb up there after you, but I’m tellin’ you know I’ll get right up and haul your ass out o’ there. Hell, I’ll cut down the whole tree if I have to.”
She swung down, her knees hooked on one of the lower branches. “Why are you so invested in ridding this forest of my presence?”
He let out an aggrieved sigh. “I don’t care if you stay there all gorram day, but Mal’s ready to get off this moon. An’ since they ain’t got a lick o’ direction ‘tween ‘em they sent me.” He crossed his arms over his chest and widened his stance a little, leaving her in no doubt that his position was defensive and unyielding.
She swung her head a little back and forth, her hair following the movement like so many brown, stringy snakes. “Sent you?”
“Yeah, to come find you! Gorrammit, moonbrain, you just got to be difficult. Now get down. Now.”
She grinned. “Say please.”
He scowled. “No! Y’want to get pulled out o’ there? I’m doubt done askin’ nicely.”
“Very well.” River sighed, letting her arms dangle on either side of her head. “But you must catch the girl so she does not hurt herself when she drops.”
“Catch…? No! I don’t- “
“Oh well. She will never come down then. Stuck in a tree, alone forever! And the enraged captain stringing a poor mercenary’s testicles up - “
“Whoa!” Jayne stalked forward and poked her in the stomach. River just giggled and covered the spot where he’d poked her with both hands. “Ta ma de, you moonbrained little monkey, you got some kind o’ fascination with my balls? There ain’t no way you’re gettin’ near ‘em again.”
“Then you will catch me? Girl plus ground will only end in broken bones and splattered brains.”
Jayne rolled his eyes. “Yeah, like your brains ain’t splattered enough already.” He sighed and put his arms out. “Fine, you little maniac. Here! I’ll catch you.”
River smiled. “Man-called-Jayne is benevolent.” She laughed a little and flipped out of the tree. Grunting a little from the sudden weight, Jayne caught her, one arm under her knees and one across her shoulders. She beamed up at him. “And wise, as well. Would have stayed up there if you had not conceded.”
“Yeah, whatever.” He sighed again and raised an eyebrow at her. Knowing what he was saying, River braced herself. He dropped her; she landed gracefully on her feet. “Now let’s go,” he said, tugging at her arm. “We got us a ship to catch.”
River just made a quiet noise of agreement and started bouncing along behind him.
“Gorram crazy person,” Jayne grumbled. “More trouble’n she’s worth.”
“I can hear you!” she trilled.
“Oh? I don’t give a good gorram whether you hear me or not!” He sneered towards the trees in front of them. “Always up to no ruttin’ good - dumb kid.”
“Nope!” River jabbed his side, twirling quickly in front of him. “Childish antics do not a child make.”
Jayne stopped, glaring fiercely at the thin young woman in front of him. “Whatever, you moonbrain.” He made to start walking again, but River stopped him.
“It is true,” she said with a shrug. “The girl has lived for nineteen years. By any estimation that makes her…” She twirled around, tilting her neck until her ear was at her shoulder. She smiled darkly. “A woman.”
Jayne just rolled his eyes. “Then why do you act like such a ruttin’ child?”
Her enigmatic smile morphed into a full-fledged grin. “Because I am allowed to get away with it. I am the captain’s albatross, Simon’s precious mei mei , the crew’s unstable ballerina-assassin. Would be so unkind to deny her anything her crazy heart might decide it wants.”
“Y’mean… “ Jayne laughed, half derisively. “You been actin’ crazy all this time jus’ to pull the wool over on us?”
“No. I am crazy.” She spun around again. “But I am not so naïve.”
For a moment the big merc regarded her silently. Then he burst out in hearty guffaws, slapping his thigh once with unbridled mirth. “You… You got us all on strings, don’t you, you gorram genius?”
“It cannot be helped. As man-called-Jayne so astutely points out…” She pointed to herself, her thin lips curving into an easy smirk. “Genius.”
~~~
-Notes: This is version one. I want to add a sexy-sexy sort of Rayne bit in, but I haven't decided quite how yet. I think my head is about to explode with pain. Blahr.
Also, @willow_reece: I am almost done with the beta work on your fic!