(no subject)
I saw this meme a while back, maybe 8-10 months ago, I'm not sure. It's two pictures of Monica from Friends and in one she's with Richard and in one she's with Chandler. It says "I know you lost your Richard, it hurts a lot. But just wait till your Chandler shows up! He is worth the wait!"
I loved it at the time, and thought God, I hope so. And then however many months later I met William. I finally found my Chandler and he was absolutely worth the wait. I guess I thought of it today, not only because every day I am so thankful I found him, but also because of the sad news of Matthew Perry passing.
William and I just hit 6 months and it's still smooth sailing. We still have not had a fight or even a disagreement, but he did annoy me once or twice, and I did finally cry about something regarding us, but I realized the next day it was pretty silly and it was mostly my fault. When I told my therapist that he finally annoyed me he goes good! Afterall, being annoyed by someone you love is super normal and healthy....especially since it's only been once or twice in six months. It also shows that we get along so well because we're so compatible and both caring human beings, not because we're walking on eggshells and avoiding fights or disagreements.
Neither of us have dropped the L word yet. I do though, I just haven't been able to say it yet. I've never been very good at it. I am 99.99% sure he loves me, but every time I think about saying it, I suddenly am frozen with fear that he doesn't, lol. I am not sure exactly when I fell in love with him....sometime between 1 and 3 months maybe. It's so hard to know because it just happens so gradually, and one day you realize hey, I love this guy. I knew for certain though after we went up north together in August.
He's made a couple comments about showing it is better, and how anyone can say words but showing love is real. I agree for the most part....but, I still want us to say it one day, and it's nice to hear now and again. I'm not sure if he hasn't said it because he isn't ready to say it yet, or if he is waiting for me to do it first. I'd like to say it soon, hopefully by his birthday...if for no other reason, so it won't be super hard to find a birthday card that's sweet but doesn't mention love, lol. I had been trying to say it, so that one day I don't just accidentally blurt it out in a strange moment, but I dunno, maybe that's when/how I should say it. When I'm so happy and comfortable and in love with him, that I just say it without even thinking about it.
Speaking of cards, a few months ago I was helping my daughter pick out a birthday card for her dad, and I read a card that was meant for like a husband or boyfriend, and it listed all these attributes and things that this man does and why the card giver loves him. I thought to myself how William does or is all the things mentioned in the card, and it suddenly hit me....I will no longer have to get choked up in the card aisle or have to lie when buying greeting cards.
I loved my ex-husband, don't get me wrong, and he did have some very good traits and we did have some good times. Some very good times. But his bad traits, and the bad times far outweighed the good. I'd have to hold back the tears while picking out anniversary and birthday cards for him, because they were all lies. They'd say things like babe, you're my best friend, you do so much for me, you support me, you're always there for me, etc. But he wasn't and he didn't. I usually had to go for the funny cards or the very generic happy birthday/anniversary to my spouse, cards. But I don't have to do that anymore. When I buy William a birthday card in January, whatever any of them say, it will be the truth. I cannot even begin to describe what an amazing feeling that is.