do those manikins look real to you????
my day started at 5am this morning, with rehearsal at 6:30....kinda sucked, but i amazingly wasn't tired. i got to march pregame today...a trombone didn't show up to rehearsal for some reason...it was really fun. it definitely gets you pumped for the game running out onto the field like that. but anyways...we lost the game, 21-17....pretty disappointing how much we dinked around in the first half. so marching back wasn't very fun after the game, saying the cheers and everything...nobody was dancing or yelling the cheers, and we made a revision: "hey hey, ho ho, big red in the orange toilet bowl." yeah.
afterwards i felt like shit so i took a nap, and christine called and we went to southpointe for a while. i finally got around to buying a swimcap, as well as some fall/winter shoes, since i don't have any other than my all-stars, which aren't exactly ideal for snow. we ran into amber, and she had nothing to do tonight so she hung out with us which was pretty fun...i love reminiscing of the melodramatic happenings of our early high school days. we went to the CoHo and i did a crossword. i don't know why im so obsessed with them...im getting pretty good though; usually i get about halfway through the new york times ones, which are really difficult. amber called austin because for some reason, its his birthday and he's alone, so he finally found us an hour later and we sat downtown and talked for a while...we talked about everything....it was nice to actually be able to intellectually interact with people...i miss it. i miss christine too....im glad i got to hang out with her tonight...she and i can go on for hours about everything, i think she's the only person that truly understands me....i can't really think of anybody else that does.
i thought a lot tonight about relationship-type stuff. im so damn lonely. i was driving home from westbrook last night at about 11 and saw a random couple walking downtown, and the guy picked up his girlfriend, and spun her around in circles with her on his shoulder, then he put her down, gave her a hug, and they walked away holding hands. man i miss that....i can't put into words how lonely i am, and at this point in my life, i feel so ready to take on a serious relationship....its been over two years since i've had a real relationship....and i've learned countless lessons in between: about myself, about my potential, about other people, about deception and the way things seem but the way they really are, and most importantly, who is worth my time and who isn't. i've learned that mistakes can't be taken back...you can't erase what shouldn't have happened, and you can't right your wrongs no matter how hard you try...but you can keep going. though i had some tough times the past year or so, i finally feel like im going somewhere again....somewhere where i want to be, not just somewhere where i end up because its the best i can do.
the point im trying to make is that i have so much energy in me...so much love that i just feel like i need to give to someone....i miss the feeling of caring wholeheartedly for someone....its a feeling that i've only truly felt once...it was the best year of my life. i need it again...i need that completeness, i need the release of it all. god, i just can't wait for that day....but when it comes, im gonna go for it.....
i wanna get myself back in again
the salt of the oblivion
i wanna taste the salt of your skin
the salt of the oblivion, oblivion....
afterwards i felt like shit so i took a nap, and christine called and we went to southpointe for a while. i finally got around to buying a swimcap, as well as some fall/winter shoes, since i don't have any other than my all-stars, which aren't exactly ideal for snow. we ran into amber, and she had nothing to do tonight so she hung out with us which was pretty fun...i love reminiscing of the melodramatic happenings of our early high school days. we went to the CoHo and i did a crossword. i don't know why im so obsessed with them...im getting pretty good though; usually i get about halfway through the new york times ones, which are really difficult. amber called austin because for some reason, its his birthday and he's alone, so he finally found us an hour later and we sat downtown and talked for a while...we talked about everything....it was nice to actually be able to intellectually interact with people...i miss it. i miss christine too....im glad i got to hang out with her tonight...she and i can go on for hours about everything, i think she's the only person that truly understands me....i can't really think of anybody else that does.
i thought a lot tonight about relationship-type stuff. im so damn lonely. i was driving home from westbrook last night at about 11 and saw a random couple walking downtown, and the guy picked up his girlfriend, and spun her around in circles with her on his shoulder, then he put her down, gave her a hug, and they walked away holding hands. man i miss that....i can't put into words how lonely i am, and at this point in my life, i feel so ready to take on a serious relationship....its been over two years since i've had a real relationship....and i've learned countless lessons in between: about myself, about my potential, about other people, about deception and the way things seem but the way they really are, and most importantly, who is worth my time and who isn't. i've learned that mistakes can't be taken back...you can't erase what shouldn't have happened, and you can't right your wrongs no matter how hard you try...but you can keep going. though i had some tough times the past year or so, i finally feel like im going somewhere again....somewhere where i want to be, not just somewhere where i end up because its the best i can do.
the point im trying to make is that i have so much energy in me...so much love that i just feel like i need to give to someone....i miss the feeling of caring wholeheartedly for someone....its a feeling that i've only truly felt once...it was the best year of my life. i need it again...i need that completeness, i need the release of it all. god, i just can't wait for that day....but when it comes, im gonna go for it.....
i wanna get myself back in again
the salt of the oblivion
i wanna taste the salt of your skin
the salt of the oblivion, oblivion....