I did say no, and of course that was that, but i suppose this is how anxiety operates, you get yourself all worked up over something that shouldn't be a big deal.
I think it's particularly annoying to me when it happens in foreign countries where expats who are wealthier than the average folks in that country are doing business with other expats, so the money just circulates around the expat bubble instead of getting into the actual society.
But, i do admit, i also find it awkward when friends offer me help. I know it's well-intentioned and often could be something i could really benefit from, but i always feel i have been put onto the back foot when someone offers me something, like now i am in debt to them. I have a few friends who have done or are doing something for me like looking after important documents while i am traveling, and it just makes our relationship weird, like now we can't be equal any more because i owe them. I think i'd rather not have anyone do anything for me, then i feel like the relationship is more authentic somehow, because nobody owes anyone anything.
And suddenly I realize I've been giving you a ton of info and places to stay and whatnot and prolly setting you up for anxiety over it.
Know that my knowledge of cross country roadtrips is free for the taking, with nothing expected or reciprocation needed. I offer it, because I have it, not because I want to barter, put you in debt to me, or expect any kind of return.
And saying no is fine, cause if you don't tell me "no" I'll keep doing it. :)
Oh, don't worry! First of all, i have learned over the years that this is just a personal neurosis of mine, and it's something i need to learn to live with. It shouldn't be on my friends to walk on eggshells around me. But on the topic of roadtrip ideas specifically, this is something i know you love and are passionate about, and you would freely share with anyone, not just me, so i don't feel it's somehow creating an imbalance, if that makes sense. I enjoy reading your suggestions on where to go, even if i never end up taking the route myself, so don't stop posting on my account :)
I think it's particularly annoying to me when it happens in foreign countries where expats who are wealthier than the average folks in that country are doing business with other expats, so the money just circulates around the expat bubble instead of getting into the actual society.
But, i do admit, i also find it awkward when friends offer me help. I know it's well-intentioned and often could be something i could really benefit from, but i always feel i have been put onto the back foot when someone offers me something, like now i am in debt to them. I have a few friends who have done or are doing something for me like looking after important documents while i am traveling, and it just makes our relationship weird, like now we can't be equal any more because i owe them. I think i'd rather not have anyone do anything for me, then i feel like the relationship is more authentic somehow, because nobody owes anyone anything.
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Know that my knowledge of cross country roadtrips is free for the taking, with nothing expected or reciprocation needed. I offer it, because I have it, not because I want to barter, put you in debt to me, or expect any kind of return.
And saying no is fine, cause if you don't tell me "no" I'll keep doing it. :)
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