biking around Kamloops with a bumped head

[amw]

I was going to go out for a quick bike ride today, but something very strange and alarming just happened. The world started closing in and i went into an odd déjà vu state, like i was very high on drugs, then i went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and i couldn't breathe. I tried to get air into my lungs but it wasn't enough, then i blacked

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[amw]

My ex was in NA. Still is, i think. I carried her one year keychain around the world with me to remind me never to overdo it. I only just dumped it recently, since it was unnecessary weight in my pack. I found the meetings really tough to deal with because of the social aspects, but it's good to know they're there for the people that need them. I have definitely been in some bad holes in the past, but i think i've mostly stayed on the side of not falling too far down. I think for me going out solo (whether hiking or whatever) where i really need to depend on myself to survive helps to remind me there is something to stay sober for, if that makes sense.

I really can't with America right now. The politics over there seems to have turned into a weird sports event where people are completely entrenched with their team and have no interest in seeing anything outside of that. The media just reinforces it. Meanwhile half the country doesn't vote at all, because i guess they've decided that no matter who wins it won't change anything for them. Which in itself is a problem. What really upsets me is how many people are just going down a spiral of conspiracy theories, like willfully choosing to become more ignorant. Having lived in China where the government actually, really, legitimately manipulates the entire media, it's so sad to see people who do live in a relatively free country disappear into that hole of fear and distrust.