Lexiphiles (email forward)

Nov 03, 2013 11:31

LEXIPHILES:      WHOEVER PUT THESE TOGETHER LOVES LANGUAGE :

·           To write with a broken pencil is                         pointless.

·           A thief who stole a calendar got                        twelve months.

·           When the smog lifts in Los Angeles,                 U.C.L.A.

·           The professor discovered that her                   theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

·           The batteries were given out                              free of charge.

·           A dentist and a manicurist married.                 They fought tooth and nail.

·           A will is a                                                                  dead  giveaway.

·           If you don't pay your exorcist you can              get repossessed.

·           Show me a piano falling down a  mineshaft       and I'll show you A-flat miner.

·           You are stuck with your debt if you                   can't budge it.

·           Local Area Network in Australia :                     The LAN down under.

·           A boiled egg is                                                        hard to beat.

·           When you've seen one shopping centre          you've seen a mall.

·           Police were called to a daycare                        where  a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

·           Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?       He's all right now.

·           If you take a laptop computer for a run                       you could jog your memory.

·           A bicycle can't stand alone;                                            it is two tired.

·           In a democracy it's your vote that counts;                 in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

·           When a clock is hungry it goes back                           four seconds.

·           The guy who fell onto an upholstery  machine           was fully recovered.

·           He had a photographic memory which was                never developed.

·           Those who get too big for their britches                       will be exposed in the end.

·           When she saw her first strands of grey hair,                she thought she'd dye.

·           Acupuncture: a jab well      done.

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