Wed at school, and bored as fuck!
My weekend was pretty eventful. I had lots of fun at Andrea's birthday party. Ended up making out with some dude that i didn't even know his name until i asked Shannon. It was pretty crazy, she says he was an asshole, but i don't remember if he was or not. I was really really drunk at the party, and im surprised that i could stay up. I made the mistake of cheating, but i don't regret it. I liked kissing someone new, even if that was selfish. I just didn't tell Tom that.
Pretty much on Sunday it was a debate in my mind to tell Tom or not that i kissed someone. Pretty much i wasn't, but then i decided to tell him. He slapped me when i told him, it hurt like shit, but i deserved it. He apologized over and over until i was sick of hearing the words, "Im Sorry" It was over and done with, couldn't be taken back. I was mad at first, but didn't do anything. It was the first time Tom has hit me, and i hope it doesn't happen again. He doesn't want to be abusive, and i have hurt him many times more.
Maybe im the abusive one in the relationship. I hurt him at times when im mad. I hit him and kick him, not in anger at times but when we are messing around. I don't want to, but sometimes it ends up that way. Am i abusive? Or just protecting myself with reflexes when im used to being hit? Its hard to tell. At times i do think im abusive, and it sucks. How did abuse get into my family? Is is anger at my sister for always hurting me and calling me names? I know she is younger, but she stills gives me abuse. I can beat her up, but words hurt more than actions, and she does hurt me when she calls me names. I can't help but applying them to myself.
Well, im out.
Mary
Pretty much on Sunday it was a debate in my mind to tell Tom or not that i kissed someone. Pretty much i wasn't, but then i decided to tell him. He slapped me when i told him, it hurt like shit, but i deserved it. He apologized over and over until i was sick of hearing the words, "Im Sorry" It was over and done with, couldn't be taken back. I was mad at first, but didn't do anything. It was the first time Tom has hit me, and i hope it doesn't happen again. He doesn't want to be abusive, and i have hurt him many times more.
Maybe im the abusive one in the relationship. I hurt him at times when im mad. I hit him and kick him, not in anger at times but when we are messing around. I don't want to, but sometimes it ends up that way. Am i abusive? Or just protecting myself with reflexes when im used to being hit? Its hard to tell. At times i do think im abusive, and it sucks. How did abuse get into my family? Is is anger at my sister for always hurting me and calling me names? I know she is younger, but she stills gives me abuse. I can beat her up, but words hurt more than actions, and she does hurt me when she calls me names. I can't help but applying them to myself.
Well, im out.
Mary