altitude
i've been convinced all day i've got altitude sickness.
nauseous, a horrible headache that nothing will fix, tired tired eyes that have a hard time focusing, feeling really hot for no reason, tummy issues, super tired, and just a general ickiness.
now i think it's just my period, ha. coming super early.
and of course it has my mind all over the place. i mean ALL over. i've been having these really intense and awful dreams. getting raped by my employer's twin brother, planes crashing, s and i breaking up and her getting back with lauren suture wound, playing shows where no one can hear me, and nightlong dreams about days with someone else...
i get into this space alone (basically) in aspen and think, all i have here is what i think. i have cable, i have internet, i have my book, i have a sleeping baby who could wake up any minute, i have a headache, but all i can do is think over the past six months, the past four years, the past eight years. back and forth, up and down, the bears outside are hungry for the cookies and bread inside this big house in colorado's woods, pawprints on the glass doors and windows, humans building their homes on top of habitat is just like my head, all the wild things crawling into the civilized space, big brown bears crapping on the marble fireplace. me, jerking awake, thinking back in that tiny plane with air air air below, my stomach just won't forget.
things are different now. different by choice and the choice is mine, and mine is what i have, what i am happy with, what that is not. so, that's nice.
i think my eyes are making me nauseous. is that possible?
ick.
nauseous, a horrible headache that nothing will fix, tired tired eyes that have a hard time focusing, feeling really hot for no reason, tummy issues, super tired, and just a general ickiness.
now i think it's just my period, ha. coming super early.
and of course it has my mind all over the place. i mean ALL over. i've been having these really intense and awful dreams. getting raped by my employer's twin brother, planes crashing, s and i breaking up and her getting back with lauren suture wound, playing shows where no one can hear me, and nightlong dreams about days with someone else...
i get into this space alone (basically) in aspen and think, all i have here is what i think. i have cable, i have internet, i have my book, i have a sleeping baby who could wake up any minute, i have a headache, but all i can do is think over the past six months, the past four years, the past eight years. back and forth, up and down, the bears outside are hungry for the cookies and bread inside this big house in colorado's woods, pawprints on the glass doors and windows, humans building their homes on top of habitat is just like my head, all the wild things crawling into the civilized space, big brown bears crapping on the marble fireplace. me, jerking awake, thinking back in that tiny plane with air air air below, my stomach just won't forget.
things are different now. different by choice and the choice is mine, and mine is what i have, what i am happy with, what that is not. so, that's nice.
i think my eyes are making me nauseous. is that possible?
ick.