(no subject)
So, I have not updated in a while, and I feel as though I should, regaurdless of the fact that I convinced that no one reads these things anymore. I am back in Ithaca. Life is crazy. I have been through so much, and I am spinning. I can't seem to concentrate... I have been pulled around so much... My lines of friendship and relationship tried and tested... My sanity is hanging by a thread... But life isn't too bad. I guess the fact that I have partied every weekend says something? I can't be that hated, right? I am feeling a little better about where I stand. And a feel myself progressing. I have a new look on life. The horses back finally broke, and I have a whole new level of honesty and openness. And I love it.
I have gotten pretty close to some people over the past few weeks. Sabik, for one. He called me and talked about the girl he was kinda seeing, told me how he broke it of and stuff. I hadn't realized he felt that comfortable with me, cause he never talks about himself to anyone. it was kinda weird at first, but it was awesome to know that he felt he could come to me. I also had a good convo with Alex (Fish) the other day. I was kinda bitch slapp9ing him for being down on himself. He was saying that Sat night wasn't all he wanted it to be, he had wanted to be more social, the same thing he always says, and I was tired of hearing it. He went to the party and then went with some sophmores and freshman and drank and chilled, and I was like, How much more social can you get? ANd it was freshman party and you spent more time with Freshman than I did, and I was out till after five in the morning.
And then, of course, there is Andrew. I don't know what I would do without him. He is a huge part of my recent change. He appreciates me in ways I didn't know were possible. I did some crazy things this summer, and he never judged me for it. We can talk forever about nothing, or everything. He makes me smile when I am sad, and laugh when I cry. There is no better joy than that found through tears. I have no shame with him. I can ask the stupidest of questions and never feel ashamed that I have to ask. And he uses big words and punctuates on AIM (lol, seems trivial but means a lot). I feel so stimulated when I talk to him. And I don't feel like that often... If I got nothing else out of my internship, I got Andrew, and that makes it worth all the while.
School is tough, as usual. For some reason I have no initiative to do work for Dan Meekers classes. I have found out that even though I came back invigorated and ready to work, I still have no desire to do it for his class. I have to build a wall (by soldering brass) and a floor for Thursday, and I am a little worried. And then we do watercolor and draw for the rest of the semester, that is a little scary. Light Design excites and scares me. It is just so abstract. You can't build a model and see if you like it... But I am starting to wrap my head around it, and finding its diffuculty intruiging. ANd I really liked the project we just did. We had to resaerch a bunch of artists/photographers and find a quintisential image for each and then we had to take pics of different assigned lighting situations. I like being familiar with artists, and the photos were fun to take and helped me get a good feel for different lighting situations.
Anywho, I am almost done at work, so peace out.
I have gotten pretty close to some people over the past few weeks. Sabik, for one. He called me and talked about the girl he was kinda seeing, told me how he broke it of and stuff. I hadn't realized he felt that comfortable with me, cause he never talks about himself to anyone. it was kinda weird at first, but it was awesome to know that he felt he could come to me. I also had a good convo with Alex (Fish) the other day. I was kinda bitch slapp9ing him for being down on himself. He was saying that Sat night wasn't all he wanted it to be, he had wanted to be more social, the same thing he always says, and I was tired of hearing it. He went to the party and then went with some sophmores and freshman and drank and chilled, and I was like, How much more social can you get? ANd it was freshman party and you spent more time with Freshman than I did, and I was out till after five in the morning.
And then, of course, there is Andrew. I don't know what I would do without him. He is a huge part of my recent change. He appreciates me in ways I didn't know were possible. I did some crazy things this summer, and he never judged me for it. We can talk forever about nothing, or everything. He makes me smile when I am sad, and laugh when I cry. There is no better joy than that found through tears. I have no shame with him. I can ask the stupidest of questions and never feel ashamed that I have to ask. And he uses big words and punctuates on AIM (lol, seems trivial but means a lot). I feel so stimulated when I talk to him. And I don't feel like that often... If I got nothing else out of my internship, I got Andrew, and that makes it worth all the while.
School is tough, as usual. For some reason I have no initiative to do work for Dan Meekers classes. I have found out that even though I came back invigorated and ready to work, I still have no desire to do it for his class. I have to build a wall (by soldering brass) and a floor for Thursday, and I am a little worried. And then we do watercolor and draw for the rest of the semester, that is a little scary. Light Design excites and scares me. It is just so abstract. You can't build a model and see if you like it... But I am starting to wrap my head around it, and finding its diffuculty intruiging. ANd I really liked the project we just did. We had to resaerch a bunch of artists/photographers and find a quintisential image for each and then we had to take pics of different assigned lighting situations. I like being familiar with artists, and the photos were fun to take and helped me get a good feel for different lighting situations.
Anywho, I am almost done at work, so peace out.