I'm Finally Beginning To See The Light
It's always darkest before the dawn...
That's definitely how it seems anyway.
I've had a horrible day and a half.
That's putting it in the most optimistic of terms.
I'd been crying inside and out for 36 hours.
I couldn't sleep, I'm having a hard time eating.
I hate who I am.
Thanks to my own stupidity.
I had an epiphany in church. How funny...
They led me into a trap and watched me tear myself apart.
And they enjoyed it.
They watched me slowly kill myself, show myself, and watched me bawl.
I don't feel like I can ever talk to these people again.
I don't feel worthy. All that I am is a big, blubbering, bitch, who has nothing to back up what her big mouth blabs.
What a dipshit.
I felt so weak, defenseless, and ugly, it's been an unbearable day and a half.
Until this evening.
I saw Amy Werner, who is truly a woman of wonders.
And I saw Linda Freeze who blew me away with her amazing instrument. Wow.
She gives the best hugs. ^_^
And I smiled a real smile for the first time in two days.
It felt really good.
But my heart still hurts. I think it's officially broken beyond repair.
Way to go, Allie, you screwed yourself again, you dumbass.