Bor-Ring
This weekend was a sort of epiphany/mid-life crisis or some such nonsense. Maybe it was spurred on by the Columbia space shuttle exploding or that I had finally snapped out of the haze from last year.
For too long I've been living in a cloud, sliding by. Even basic maintenance seemed like too much effort at times. I hated work, home, sleeping, eating, everything. Call me attitude-boy. But my personality just bottled it all up and said "Nope".
The space shuttle blowing up was nothing like 1986 and the Challenger. I was in the 8th grade and we watched in vivid detail EVERYTHING. Mae put it in great perspective that we were watching a contrail and seeing a few puffs and sparks. Can't really see much so it's not registering what's happened. That's just sad. So I guess in the whole scheme of things it started to eat away at me. I also didn't have Cory this weekend because he wanted to spend time with his sister. This all gave me too much time to think and muddle and fester and finally... explode.
I cleaned. The closet was re-arranged, old important letters (not important any more) got ripped to shreds, clothes were picked up/washed. But it was much more than just a physically house cleaning. It was a mental, spiritual cleaning as well. I really hated coming home to a place that I had let get so decrepid. Now it's still far from being "clean" but I took care of some of my anger "issues". That night I slept pretty well. And then things started filtering down about who, what, where.
Late Sunday I was bored. I'm really wanting to cut my hair. Not shorter, short. It was 1997 when I cut it all off and about two years before I started growing it back (post Lisa). That's about 3 1/2 years with it long again. Now I'm just bored. Hadn't gotten up to the point of doing it but the possiblity is on the horizon.
Sex. Not really interested at the moment. Could I? Would I? Hell yeah! But I don't have any motivation to go out and seek it. Maybe the year I had taken off being single might have done me more good if I didn't have a few f'buddies on the side. It was great sex and new levels were definitely attained. And at the moment, I'd rather watch re-runs than engage in my favorite playtime activity.
Work. I had a phrase last year: Snazerfrglbop. The words that come out of your mouth when you're too brain fried to say something intelligible. I truly care about the work I do to make money for the blood sucking pharmaceutical companies looking to cash in on our growing need to find the magic pill. As long as people want a quick fix all I've got job security. But this year I am on a new project (Insomnia) with four people under me. Which I might add that two of them are very attractive. Mmmm. But besides this project I've got three others that I'm "handling" at the moment. Where is my future headed? I figure I've got another year to year 1/2 to see if the department is going to hold together. I've been working with two promising new people and help them over the hump and to become better at what I do. For the most part anyone can be told how to do something. Understanding WHY is the dividing line. If I can get more people to the level of higher thought it will make my job 1. easier 2. better 3. someplace I want to continue working.
I've rambled enough. I feel better.
For too long I've been living in a cloud, sliding by. Even basic maintenance seemed like too much effort at times. I hated work, home, sleeping, eating, everything. Call me attitude-boy. But my personality just bottled it all up and said "Nope".
The space shuttle blowing up was nothing like 1986 and the Challenger. I was in the 8th grade and we watched in vivid detail EVERYTHING. Mae put it in great perspective that we were watching a contrail and seeing a few puffs and sparks. Can't really see much so it's not registering what's happened. That's just sad. So I guess in the whole scheme of things it started to eat away at me. I also didn't have Cory this weekend because he wanted to spend time with his sister. This all gave me too much time to think and muddle and fester and finally... explode.
I cleaned. The closet was re-arranged, old important letters (not important any more) got ripped to shreds, clothes were picked up/washed. But it was much more than just a physically house cleaning. It was a mental, spiritual cleaning as well. I really hated coming home to a place that I had let get so decrepid. Now it's still far from being "clean" but I took care of some of my anger "issues". That night I slept pretty well. And then things started filtering down about who, what, where.
Late Sunday I was bored. I'm really wanting to cut my hair. Not shorter, short. It was 1997 when I cut it all off and about two years before I started growing it back (post Lisa). That's about 3 1/2 years with it long again. Now I'm just bored. Hadn't gotten up to the point of doing it but the possiblity is on the horizon.
Sex. Not really interested at the moment. Could I? Would I? Hell yeah! But I don't have any motivation to go out and seek it. Maybe the year I had taken off being single might have done me more good if I didn't have a few f'buddies on the side. It was great sex and new levels were definitely attained. And at the moment, I'd rather watch re-runs than engage in my favorite playtime activity.
Work. I had a phrase last year: Snazerfrglbop. The words that come out of your mouth when you're too brain fried to say something intelligible. I truly care about the work I do to make money for the blood sucking pharmaceutical companies looking to cash in on our growing need to find the magic pill. As long as people want a quick fix all I've got job security. But this year I am on a new project (Insomnia) with four people under me. Which I might add that two of them are very attractive. Mmmm. But besides this project I've got three others that I'm "handling" at the moment. Where is my future headed? I figure I've got another year to year 1/2 to see if the department is going to hold together. I've been working with two promising new people and help them over the hump and to become better at what I do. For the most part anyone can be told how to do something. Understanding WHY is the dividing line. If I can get more people to the level of higher thought it will make my job 1. easier 2. better 3. someplace I want to continue working.
I've rambled enough. I feel better.