Supernatural 6.22: "The Man Who Knew Too Much."
* CAAAAAARRY ON MY WAAAAAYWARD SOOOOON~
* FLASHBACKS OF ROBO!SAM. AND DEATH. AND JEFFERSON STARSHIPS. AND NEW HELL. AND BALTHAZAR. AND EVE. AND CARRY ON MY WAAAAAAYWARD SOOOOOOOON!!!
* cold open on Sam, ostensibly running from the cops.
* … he's right across from Castle Storage. WHY IS HE AT CASTLE STORAGE. WHAT EVEN.
* WHY IS IT NOW A BAR.
* Hello, attractive bartender girl who wants to hit the Moose with a baseball bat.
* SAAAAAAMMY. NOOOOOOO. D:
* WHY DOES THE BAR HAVE BOOKS IN IT NOW. BRAIN BLAST.
* "You think you stayed in this dump? … Maybe you're a hooker."
* … so, I think this girl is like the mutant baby of Becky and Ruby. That's my thesis, anyway.
* "Dude, who are you?" "Good question…"
* ROOM FULL OF CRAZY HUNTER RESEARCH. and fake IDs. AND THERE'S AN ARTICLE ABOUT ELEANOR GOING MISSING.
* AND CUT TO THEM FINDING HER BODY. OH GOD, ELEANOR AND BOBBY. ♥ - "The demon, I could've handled … but when the angel stepped in …"
* SLFKFGEJGHFDKGJD ELEANOR AND BOBBY AND WHY CAN'T BOBBY HAVE NICE THINGS? D:
* BOBBY IS SO ENRAGED AT CAS OH MY GOD IT HURTS
* "You don't even see it, do you? How totally off the rails you are-"
"Enough! I don't care what you think. I've tried to make you understand; you won't listen - so let me make this simple: please. Go home and let me stop Raphael. I won't ask again." "Well, good, 'cuz I think you already know the answer."
AND OH MY GOD, CAS PROMISED TO SAVE SAM. THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY'RE SO MAD AND AWKDFJWRGAJFGFLKGEQTGH, WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH. BOOOOYS. WHY DO YOU HAVE MAKE MY HEART SO SAD.
* Ha. Ha. Dean is a male model type. Brick pants.
* ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I AM EXCITED TO SEE ROBO!SAM?
Even if it's just in Sam-ception, I love the return of ROBO!SAM, okay? Truly, madly, deeply, I am ENAMORED with that sociopath, I CANNOT LOVE HIM ENOUGH.
* mmmm, "Play With Fire" is such a brilliant song choice for this scene. For this entire season. For … pretty much everyone involved in this conflict.
* "That's exactly what Cas wants. For you to fall to pieces." PROOF POSITIVE THAT CAS IS FAMILY. HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO PUSH DEAN'S BUTTONS. AND PROOF THAT HE'S OFF THE RAILS? HE'S NOT COUNTING ON DEAN NOT-FALLING TO PIECES.
* "It was NIGHT and now it's DAY." … oh, Sammy. You always get such narm-tastic lines when you're stressed. It's adorable. ♥
* And into the woods to get the thing that makes it worth the journeying~ (Nice visual call out to all the inspiration Supernatural's drawn from fairy tales over the years, and to Sam's lingering fondness for Disney movies … since the woods are where all the personal growth in fairy tales happens. La la la, lit-crit stuff, la la la, cultural metaphors.)
* … hello, Robo!Sam. You are stalking yourself. And now you have him disarmed.
* "My god, am I really that gawky?"
* "… I'm hallucinating?!" "Warmer, but see … normally, you're awake when you're tripping balls." I WOULD LET ROBO!SAM DO ANYTHING TO ME SEXUALLY I AIN'T EVEN BOVVERED.
* "I'm dreaming …?" "And someone just won a copy of the home game!"
* OH MY GOD. IT TOOK ROBO!SAM SAYING "WE'RE INSIDE YOUR GRAPEFRUIT, SAM" FOR ME TO SEE IT, BUT … ROBO!SAM IS WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES HE WORE TO TAKE ON LUCIFER. AND THAT IS LUCIFER'S IDIOM. AND OH MY GOD SAM/LUCIFER IS ABOUT AS CANON AS ANY LGBTAQ+ RELATIONSHIP ON SUPERNATURAL ASIDE FROM BARNES/DAMIEN WILL EVER BE. IT'S ON PAR WITH DEAN/CAS AND SAM/DEAN OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SDJQEFJWGHEG FLAAAAAAAAAAAIL. … now I want Lucifer/Robo!Sam fic. And I might need to work it into an Idea that I'm only sharing with a few people because it's EVIL and still in its infancy and oh god Lucifer/Robo!Sam in that idea would be delicious.
I mean. Lucifer/Sam is delicious anyway, but you know.
* "your BFF Cas"
* oh god, Robo!Sam. "same misty-eyed milksop you always were" - but souls aren't weak and kefwjrgshagh, I just love Robo!Sam so muuuuuuuch. I'll be sad to see him go, but … Sammy has to win because Robo!Sam is too static a character to survive for that long on Show … Sammy, you faked him out, right? SAMMY YOU BRILLIANT SON OF A BITCH.
* "You think I'm bad? Wait 'til you meet the other one." - oh god, I know what's coming but I am SO not ready for it.
* SAMMY YOU BEAUTIFUL STRONG BRILLIANT MOOSE PLEASE KEEP GOING. I KNOW YOU WILL BUT IT STILL BEARS SAYING.
* "Mudfish" is a new one. I like it, Balthazar. BALTHAZAR, YOU WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL CREATURE. "I'm betraying a FRIEND here. A very powerful friend - WE ALL ARE." I'M SORRY I WAS ON TEAM "BALTHAZAR IS A POOR MAN'S GABRIEL AND SHOULD DIAF," BALTHY, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT AND SEEN HOW YOU'RE DIFFERENT AND I PROMISE TO DO YOU JUSTICE IN MY DEAN/CAS BIG BANG EVEN IF IT'S A HUMANS-ONLY AU BUT YOU CAN STILL COME TO MY EVIL IDEA THAT I'M NOT SHARING IN ITS ENTIRETY AND WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE.
* "Your Purgatory Power Shake, monsieur - half monster, half virgin."
* … oh, Cas. This is not a good plan. "You think I'm handing all that power to the King of Hell? I'm neither stupid nor wicked." Crowley is going to fuck your shit up and I will CRY.
* "Unbelievable … have you forgotten that you're the bottom in this relationship?" - so, Cas/Crowley sex, set to something by Nine Inch Nails but preferably "Closer," with Crowley bending Cas over a desk and making him scream, y/y?
* … you know, for all the shit demons get for being liars and manipulative bastards
* … wow. Sam-ception has decked Bobby's house out with a bunch of Phantom of the Opera-reject candelabras and sheets.
* "… oh. … Hey, Sam." … oh Jesus, I am legitimately terrified. "Don't you know? … I'm the one that remembers Hell."
* OH MY GOD DEAN. YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD BIG BROTHER EVEN WHEN YOU'RE PRETENDING THAT YOU AREN'T AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
* "I wish you hadn't come, Sam…" - … I’m having such uncomfortable Sam-whiplash.
I keep going between wanting to cuddle Sammy, wanting to fuck Robo!Sam, and wanting to run screaming from Hell!Sam, who is legitimately terrifying me in ways that Supernatural hasn’t legitimately terrified me since the time I watched every season one episode from “Hookman” to “Nightmare” and then tried to sleep. *cries in the corner*
* … oh my god, Jared's vocal work as Hell!Sam is amazing. Actually, can we get a round of applause for Jared's vocal work all around? Like … Sam(my), Robo!Sam, Samifer, Meg!Sam, Hell!Sam, What Is And What Should Never Be!Sam - they all sound so similar, but so subtly different, which is actually something that Jensen hasn't ever accomplished. Like, the whole idea of Shifter!Dean is to sound just like Dean. Then 2014!Dean and 2009!Dean had some moments of sounding different enough, but Jensen's physicality was where you could tell the most difference, and nightmare!Dean was pretty much the same as normal Dean - again, the big difference was in physicality. But … oh god, Jared. Anyone who calls you a bad actor can kiss my ass, honey, because you are FABULOUS. ♥
* "Out there in the real world, I'm at Bobby's right?" "How do you know…?" "This whole time, all I've smelt is Old Spice and whiskey."
* "First, you have to go through me. … Humpty Dumpty has to put himself back together again before he can wake up, and I'm the last piece." … oh my god, Hell!Sam. You're so sweet and broken and tragic and I want to hooooold you. ♥
* "Sam, you can't imagine. Stay here. Go back. Find that bartender. Go find Jess. But … don't do this. … I know you. You're not strong enough." AAAAAAAAAH MORE CALL BACKS TO LUCIFER OH MY GOD. THAT WAS THE ARGUMENT USED TO KEEP SAM FROM TAKING LUCIFER IN, AND LUCIFER CAME TO SAM IN THE FORM OF JESS, AND A BARTENDER WAS ALSO INVOLVED IN THAT EPISODE AND OH MY GOD. … if I were to put shipper goggles on this, I would say that Lucifer is whispering through the door, into Sam's dream, telling him to go back … because, yeah, Lucifer was pissed off and violated him in Hell, and yeah, Lucifer probably doesn't love Sam … but he cares about him, in his way, and he sort of wants to protect Sam.
Mostly he wants Sam to stay in dreamland because then they can be together forever and Lucifer can call Sam his, but there's an element of protection in there, too.
If I were putting shipper goggles on.
Which I'm not.
ALSFWKRGHG I CAN'T HELP IT I JUST LOVE SAMMY SO MUCH AND SAM/LUCIFER IS ONE OF MY GUILTY PLEASURES CRYING FOREVER.
* "Why is this so important to you?"
"You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there."
OH SAMMY. YOU ARE SO STRONG AND SAD AND BRAVE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. PLEASE BE OKAY, SAM. I WILL DIE A LOT IF YOU AREN'T OKAY.
* … Castiel, please be okay, too. … oh my god, he called Dean "Dean Winchester." He hasn't done that in SO LONG - OH MY GOD. "I bet it's that bloody little cherub, isn't it." OH MY GOD, THIS MEANS BARACHIEL/MY HEAD-CANON CUPID COULD TOTALLY HAVE JOINED CAS'S SIDE IN THE CIVIL WAR WHICH I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT EARLIER TODAY FOR USE IN MY EVIL IDEA OF EVILNESS AND, OH GOD NO. CAS. NOT BALTHAZAR. WHY, CASTIEL, WHY.
* okay, so two thoughts: 1. it must mean so much to Cas to call Balthazar "Judas," and if it doesn't, then that's a sign of HOW FAR OFF THE RAILS HE IS; and 2. … so, now I need some Balthazar/ANYBODY fan video set to Lady Gaga's "Judas." GET ON IT, INTERNET.
* … Cas. you are being such a manipulative little shit. oh my god. NO, BALTHY, HE IS NOT ALRIGHT. HE'S ALONE AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE FOREVER. "I'm doing my best in impossible circumstances. My friends, they … abandon me. They plot against me. It's difficult to understand." OH GOD CAS BABY. JUST … WHY.
* "Well, you've always got little old me."
"Yes. I'll always have you."
"Cas…"
THAT LITTLE WHISPER OF CAS'S NAME COMPLETELY FUCKING BROKE ME OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR I CANNOT EVEN. CASTIEL, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BUT … PLEASE BE OKAY. PLEASE. I UNDERSTAND, CAS. I KNOW IT'S HARD. BUT I UNDERSTAND AND I JUST WANT YOU TO BE OKAY.
* IMPALA, SWEET LADY OH JESUS. NOT THE CAR. BOBBY AND DEAN CAN TAKE IT, BUT THAT CAR. THAT IS THE CAR THAT SAVED THE WORLD WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HURT HER.
* "Never underestimate the King of Hell, darling. I know a lot of … swell tricks. Now, I think it's time to re-renegotiate our terms."
* HI, LADY RAPHAEL. I LOVE YOUR LADY VESSEL.
* OH GOD. AND NOW CAS FEELS LIKE HE'S BEEN BETRAYED BY ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY.
* CROWLEY, I LOVE YOU, YOU DEVIOUS LITTLE ACCENT-IMITATING SHIT.
* AND CAS IS GOING TO TAKE A THIRD OPTION BECAUSE HE LEARNED FROM … WAIT. WHERE DID HE GO.
* KFWRJGHRGEHGNNNNNNGH YUMMY MARK SHEPPARD SPEAKING LATIN.
* OKAY, DEAN AND BOBY ARE SAFE.
* MORE YUMMY MARK SHEPPARD SPEAKING LATIN.
* OH GOD DEAN RAPHAEL IS GOING TO KILL YOU - CROWLEY, YOU ARE SLEEPING ON THE SOFA FOR THE NEXT SIX WEEKS. YOU CANNOT JUST THROUGH YOUR BOYFRIEND DOWN THE STAIRS.
* LADY RAPHAEL IS SO FUCKING GORGEOUS AND HER VOICE AND I CAN'T EVEN.
* OH SHIT IT DIDN'T WORK.
* CAS, YOU ARE SO TRICKSY. I LOVE YOU, YOU DEVIOUS BASTARD. AND HE AND DEAN ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER.
* CROWLEY CAN TELL WHAT IT IS BY LICKING IT THAT IS GROSS
* OH GOD. CHERNOBYLSTIEL.
* "You can't imagine what it's like. They're all inside me. Millions upon millions of souls."
"Sounds sexy. Exit stage Crowley."
"Now what's the matter, Raphael? Somebody clip your wings?"
"Castiel, please … You let the demon go? But not your own brother?"
"The demon, I have plans for. You, on the other hand…"
OH SNAP. OH FUCKING SNAP. LITERALLY. AND WHAT PLANS. WHAT EVEN, I CAN'T … WHAT IS THIS. ASIDE FROM BREAKING MY HEART INTO MILLIONS OF TINY PIECES.
* "So, you see … I saved you."
"Sure thing, Cas."
"You doubted me. Fought against me. But I was right all along."
"Okay, Cas, you were. We're sorry. Let's just defuse you, okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're full of nuke, so before the eclipse ends, let's get them souls back to where they belong."
"Oh no, they belong with me."
"No, no, Cas, it's scrambling your brain."
"Oh no, I'm not finished yet. Raphael had many followers and I must punish them all severely."
"Listen to me, listen: I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge. But we were like family once. I'd've died for you … I almost did a few times. So, if that means anything to you … please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too. You don't need this kind of juice anymore, Cas! Get rid of it before it kills us all!" "You're just saying that because I want … because you're afraid."
WHAT DO YOU WANT, HTOUGH, CAS. I CAN'T … WHAT DO YOU WANT. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT.
* "You're not my family, Dean. … I have no family." ... so does that make Cas one of Sam and Dean's wayward orphans that they have to save? JUST SAYING.
* And Sam stabs Cas from behind with a phallic symbol. GOD SAM WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND STABBING ANGELS FROM BEHIND WITH PHALLIC SYMBOLS.
* "I'm glad you made it, Sam. But the angel blade won't work … because I'm not an angel anymore. … I'm your new god. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your lord. Or I shall destroy you."
* FLAILS AND DYING AND DEATH AND HOLY GOD WHAT DID I JUST WATCH AND AND AND NADNVDOF ERPIJU ETBKAFKOG ;ROCIGJQGJE AIUBIEJOBNIU BNG INJO
* … it hurts. and I'm in emotional pain. and ouch. and pain. and crying forever. … I'm going to go fetch my dad from work now and listen to Adele and definitely go through with my evil idea of evil wretchedness, oh god, I HAVE TO NOW.
But I'm still not telling people what it is, except for a few.
* FLASHBACKS OF ROBO!SAM. AND DEATH. AND JEFFERSON STARSHIPS. AND NEW HELL. AND BALTHAZAR. AND EVE. AND CARRY ON MY WAAAAAAYWARD SOOOOOOOON!!!
* cold open on Sam, ostensibly running from the cops.
* … he's right across from Castle Storage. WHY IS HE AT CASTLE STORAGE. WHAT EVEN.
* WHY IS IT NOW A BAR.
* Hello, attractive bartender girl who wants to hit the Moose with a baseball bat.
* SAAAAAAMMY. NOOOOOOO. D:
* WHY DOES THE BAR HAVE BOOKS IN IT NOW. BRAIN BLAST.
* "You think you stayed in this dump? … Maybe you're a hooker."
* … so, I think this girl is like the mutant baby of Becky and Ruby. That's my thesis, anyway.
* "Dude, who are you?" "Good question…"
* ROOM FULL OF CRAZY HUNTER RESEARCH. and fake IDs. AND THERE'S AN ARTICLE ABOUT ELEANOR GOING MISSING.
* AND CUT TO THEM FINDING HER BODY. OH GOD, ELEANOR AND BOBBY. ♥ - "The demon, I could've handled … but when the angel stepped in …"
* SLFKFGEJGHFDKGJD ELEANOR AND BOBBY AND WHY CAN'T BOBBY HAVE NICE THINGS? D:
* BOBBY IS SO ENRAGED AT CAS OH MY GOD IT HURTS
* "You don't even see it, do you? How totally off the rails you are-"
"Enough! I don't care what you think. I've tried to make you understand; you won't listen - so let me make this simple: please. Go home and let me stop Raphael. I won't ask again." "Well, good, 'cuz I think you already know the answer."
AND OH MY GOD, CAS PROMISED TO SAVE SAM. THEY ALL LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY'RE SO MAD AND AWKDFJWRGAJFGFLKGEQTGH, WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH. BOOOOYS. WHY DO YOU HAVE MAKE MY HEART SO SAD.
* Ha. Ha. Dean is a male model type. Brick pants.
* ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! ROBO!SAM! HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I AM EXCITED TO SEE ROBO!SAM?
Even if it's just in Sam-ception, I love the return of ROBO!SAM, okay? Truly, madly, deeply, I am ENAMORED with that sociopath, I CANNOT LOVE HIM ENOUGH.
* mmmm, "Play With Fire" is such a brilliant song choice for this scene. For this entire season. For … pretty much everyone involved in this conflict.
* "That's exactly what Cas wants. For you to fall to pieces." PROOF POSITIVE THAT CAS IS FAMILY. HE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW TO PUSH DEAN'S BUTTONS. AND PROOF THAT HE'S OFF THE RAILS? HE'S NOT COUNTING ON DEAN NOT-FALLING TO PIECES.
* "It was NIGHT and now it's DAY." … oh, Sammy. You always get such narm-tastic lines when you're stressed. It's adorable. ♥
* And into the woods to get the thing that makes it worth the journeying~ (Nice visual call out to all the inspiration Supernatural's drawn from fairy tales over the years, and to Sam's lingering fondness for Disney movies … since the woods are where all the personal growth in fairy tales happens. La la la, lit-crit stuff, la la la, cultural metaphors.)
* … hello, Robo!Sam. You are stalking yourself. And now you have him disarmed.
* "My god, am I really that gawky?"
* "… I'm hallucinating?!" "Warmer, but see … normally, you're awake when you're tripping balls." I WOULD LET ROBO!SAM DO ANYTHING TO ME SEXUALLY I AIN'T EVEN BOVVERED.
* "I'm dreaming …?" "And someone just won a copy of the home game!"
* OH MY GOD. IT TOOK ROBO!SAM SAYING "WE'RE INSIDE YOUR GRAPEFRUIT, SAM" FOR ME TO SEE IT, BUT … ROBO!SAM IS WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES HE WORE TO TAKE ON LUCIFER. AND THAT IS LUCIFER'S IDIOM. AND OH MY GOD SAM/LUCIFER IS ABOUT AS CANON AS ANY LGBTAQ+ RELATIONSHIP ON SUPERNATURAL ASIDE FROM BARNES/DAMIEN WILL EVER BE. IT'S ON PAR WITH DEAN/CAS AND SAM/DEAN OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SDJQEFJWGHEG FLAAAAAAAAAAAIL. … now I want Lucifer/Robo!Sam fic. And I might need to work it into an Idea that I'm only sharing with a few people because it's EVIL and still in its infancy and oh god Lucifer/Robo!Sam in that idea would be delicious.
I mean. Lucifer/Sam is delicious anyway, but you know.
* "your BFF Cas"
* oh god, Robo!Sam. "same misty-eyed milksop you always were" - but souls aren't weak and kefwjrgshagh, I just love Robo!Sam so muuuuuuuch. I'll be sad to see him go, but … Sammy has to win because Robo!Sam is too static a character to survive for that long on Show … Sammy, you faked him out, right? SAMMY YOU BRILLIANT SON OF A BITCH.
* "You think I'm bad? Wait 'til you meet the other one." - oh god, I know what's coming but I am SO not ready for it.
* SAMMY YOU BEAUTIFUL STRONG BRILLIANT MOOSE PLEASE KEEP GOING. I KNOW YOU WILL BUT IT STILL BEARS SAYING.
* "Mudfish" is a new one. I like it, Balthazar. BALTHAZAR, YOU WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL CREATURE. "I'm betraying a FRIEND here. A very powerful friend - WE ALL ARE." I'M SORRY I WAS ON TEAM "BALTHAZAR IS A POOR MAN'S GABRIEL AND SHOULD DIAF," BALTHY, I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT AND SEEN HOW YOU'RE DIFFERENT AND I PROMISE TO DO YOU JUSTICE IN MY DEAN/CAS BIG BANG EVEN IF IT'S A HUMANS-ONLY AU BUT YOU CAN STILL COME TO MY EVIL IDEA THAT I'M NOT SHARING IN ITS ENTIRETY AND WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE.
* "Your Purgatory Power Shake, monsieur - half monster, half virgin."
* … oh, Cas. This is not a good plan. "You think I'm handing all that power to the King of Hell? I'm neither stupid nor wicked." Crowley is going to fuck your shit up and I will CRY.
* "Unbelievable … have you forgotten that you're the bottom in this relationship?" - so, Cas/Crowley sex, set to something by Nine Inch Nails but preferably "Closer," with Crowley bending Cas over a desk and making him scream, y/y?
* … you know, for all the shit demons get for being liars and manipulative bastards
* … wow. Sam-ception has decked Bobby's house out with a bunch of Phantom of the Opera-reject candelabras and sheets.
* "… oh. … Hey, Sam." … oh Jesus, I am legitimately terrified. "Don't you know? … I'm the one that remembers Hell."
* OH MY GOD DEAN. YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD BIG BROTHER EVEN WHEN YOU'RE PRETENDING THAT YOU AREN'T AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
* "I wish you hadn't come, Sam…" - … I’m having such uncomfortable Sam-whiplash.
I keep going between wanting to cuddle Sammy, wanting to fuck Robo!Sam, and wanting to run screaming from Hell!Sam, who is legitimately terrifying me in ways that Supernatural hasn’t legitimately terrified me since the time I watched every season one episode from “Hookman” to “Nightmare” and then tried to sleep. *cries in the corner*
* … oh my god, Jared's vocal work as Hell!Sam is amazing. Actually, can we get a round of applause for Jared's vocal work all around? Like … Sam(my), Robo!Sam, Samifer, Meg!Sam, Hell!Sam, What Is And What Should Never Be!Sam - they all sound so similar, but so subtly different, which is actually something that Jensen hasn't ever accomplished. Like, the whole idea of Shifter!Dean is to sound just like Dean. Then 2014!Dean and 2009!Dean had some moments of sounding different enough, but Jensen's physicality was where you could tell the most difference, and nightmare!Dean was pretty much the same as normal Dean - again, the big difference was in physicality. But … oh god, Jared. Anyone who calls you a bad actor can kiss my ass, honey, because you are FABULOUS. ♥
* "Out there in the real world, I'm at Bobby's right?" "How do you know…?" "This whole time, all I've smelt is Old Spice and whiskey."
* "First, you have to go through me. … Humpty Dumpty has to put himself back together again before he can wake up, and I'm the last piece." … oh my god, Hell!Sam. You're so sweet and broken and tragic and I want to hooooold you. ♥
* "Sam, you can't imagine. Stay here. Go back. Find that bartender. Go find Jess. But … don't do this. … I know you. You're not strong enough." AAAAAAAAAH MORE CALL BACKS TO LUCIFER OH MY GOD. THAT WAS THE ARGUMENT USED TO KEEP SAM FROM TAKING LUCIFER IN, AND LUCIFER CAME TO SAM IN THE FORM OF JESS, AND A BARTENDER WAS ALSO INVOLVED IN THAT EPISODE AND OH MY GOD. … if I were to put shipper goggles on this, I would say that Lucifer is whispering through the door, into Sam's dream, telling him to go back … because, yeah, Lucifer was pissed off and violated him in Hell, and yeah, Lucifer probably doesn't love Sam … but he cares about him, in his way, and he sort of wants to protect Sam.
Mostly he wants Sam to stay in dreamland because then they can be together forever and Lucifer can call Sam his, but there's an element of protection in there, too.
If I were putting shipper goggles on.
Which I'm not.
ALSFWKRGHG I CAN'T HELP IT I JUST LOVE SAMMY SO MUCH AND SAM/LUCIFER IS ONE OF MY GUILTY PLEASURES CRYING FOREVER.
* "Why is this so important to you?"
"You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there."
OH SAMMY. YOU ARE SO STRONG AND SAD AND BRAVE. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. PLEASE BE OKAY, SAM. I WILL DIE A LOT IF YOU AREN'T OKAY.
* … Castiel, please be okay, too. … oh my god, he called Dean "Dean Winchester." He hasn't done that in SO LONG - OH MY GOD. "I bet it's that bloody little cherub, isn't it." OH MY GOD, THIS MEANS BARACHIEL/MY HEAD-CANON CUPID COULD TOTALLY HAVE JOINED CAS'S SIDE IN THE CIVIL WAR WHICH I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT EARLIER TODAY FOR USE IN MY EVIL IDEA OF EVILNESS AND, OH GOD NO. CAS. NOT BALTHAZAR. WHY, CASTIEL, WHY.
* okay, so two thoughts: 1. it must mean so much to Cas to call Balthazar "Judas," and if it doesn't, then that's a sign of HOW FAR OFF THE RAILS HE IS; and 2. … so, now I need some Balthazar/ANYBODY fan video set to Lady Gaga's "Judas." GET ON IT, INTERNET.
* … Cas. you are being such a manipulative little shit. oh my god. NO, BALTHY, HE IS NOT ALRIGHT. HE'S ALONE AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE FOREVER. "I'm doing my best in impossible circumstances. My friends, they … abandon me. They plot against me. It's difficult to understand." OH GOD CAS BABY. JUST … WHY.
* "Well, you've always got little old me."
"Yes. I'll always have you."
"Cas…"
THAT LITTLE WHISPER OF CAS'S NAME COMPLETELY FUCKING BROKE ME OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR I CANNOT EVEN. CASTIEL, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, BUT … PLEASE BE OKAY. PLEASE. I UNDERSTAND, CAS. I KNOW IT'S HARD. BUT I UNDERSTAND AND I JUST WANT YOU TO BE OKAY.
* IMPALA, SWEET LADY OH JESUS. NOT THE CAR. BOBBY AND DEAN CAN TAKE IT, BUT THAT CAR. THAT IS THE CAR THAT SAVED THE WORLD WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HURT HER.
* "Never underestimate the King of Hell, darling. I know a lot of … swell tricks. Now, I think it's time to re-renegotiate our terms."
* HI, LADY RAPHAEL. I LOVE YOUR LADY VESSEL.
* OH GOD. AND NOW CAS FEELS LIKE HE'S BEEN BETRAYED BY ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY.
* CROWLEY, I LOVE YOU, YOU DEVIOUS LITTLE ACCENT-IMITATING SHIT.
* AND CAS IS GOING TO TAKE A THIRD OPTION BECAUSE HE LEARNED FROM … WAIT. WHERE DID HE GO.
* KFWRJGHRGEHGNNNNNNGH YUMMY MARK SHEPPARD SPEAKING LATIN.
* OKAY, DEAN AND BOBY ARE SAFE.
* MORE YUMMY MARK SHEPPARD SPEAKING LATIN.
* OH GOD DEAN RAPHAEL IS GOING TO KILL YOU - CROWLEY, YOU ARE SLEEPING ON THE SOFA FOR THE NEXT SIX WEEKS. YOU CANNOT JUST THROUGH YOUR BOYFRIEND DOWN THE STAIRS.
* LADY RAPHAEL IS SO FUCKING GORGEOUS AND HER VOICE AND I CAN'T EVEN.
* OH SHIT IT DIDN'T WORK.
* CAS, YOU ARE SO TRICKSY. I LOVE YOU, YOU DEVIOUS BASTARD. AND HE AND DEAN ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER.
* CROWLEY CAN TELL WHAT IT IS BY LICKING IT THAT IS GROSS
* OH GOD. CHERNOBYLSTIEL.
* "You can't imagine what it's like. They're all inside me. Millions upon millions of souls."
"Sounds sexy. Exit stage Crowley."
"Now what's the matter, Raphael? Somebody clip your wings?"
"Castiel, please … You let the demon go? But not your own brother?"
"The demon, I have plans for. You, on the other hand…"
OH SNAP. OH FUCKING SNAP. LITERALLY. AND WHAT PLANS. WHAT EVEN, I CAN'T … WHAT IS THIS. ASIDE FROM BREAKING MY HEART INTO MILLIONS OF TINY PIECES.
* "So, you see … I saved you."
"Sure thing, Cas."
"You doubted me. Fought against me. But I was right all along."
"Okay, Cas, you were. We're sorry. Let's just defuse you, okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're full of nuke, so before the eclipse ends, let's get them souls back to where they belong."
"Oh no, they belong with me."
"No, no, Cas, it's scrambling your brain."
"Oh no, I'm not finished yet. Raphael had many followers and I must punish them all severely."
"Listen to me, listen: I know there's a lot of bad water under the bridge. But we were like family once. I'd've died for you … I almost did a few times. So, if that means anything to you … please. I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam. Don't make me lose you too. You don't need this kind of juice anymore, Cas! Get rid of it before it kills us all!" "You're just saying that because I want … because you're afraid."
WHAT DO YOU WANT, HTOUGH, CAS. I CAN'T … WHAT DO YOU WANT. WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT.
* "You're not my family, Dean. … I have no family." ... so does that make Cas one of Sam and Dean's wayward orphans that they have to save? JUST SAYING.
* And Sam stabs Cas from behind with a phallic symbol. GOD SAM WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND STABBING ANGELS FROM BEHIND WITH PHALLIC SYMBOLS.
* "I'm glad you made it, Sam. But the angel blade won't work … because I'm not an angel anymore. … I'm your new god. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your lord. Or I shall destroy you."
* FLAILS AND DYING AND DEATH AND HOLY GOD WHAT DID I JUST WATCH AND AND AND NADNVDOF ERPIJU ETBKAFKOG ;ROCIGJQGJE AIUBIEJOBNIU BNG INJO
* … it hurts. and I'm in emotional pain. and ouch. and pain. and crying forever. … I'm going to go fetch my dad from work now and listen to Adele and definitely go through with my evil idea of evil wretchedness, oh god, I HAVE TO NOW.
But I'm still not telling people what it is, except for a few.