Supernatural 6.21: "Let It Bleed" (TL;DR).
* "I know what I want, but I can't have it. Not the way you live. I'm trying to get over you." … djfgfsfg, WHY CAN'T DEAN EVER HAVE NICE THINGS? CAS AND LISA AND AND WHY CAN'T DEAN HAVE NICE THINGS.
* Cold open on HP Lovecraft. Drinking and typing most furiously. And the door creeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaks open. … I mean, I already know that this depiction of Lovecraft is going to make my Cthulhu mythos-loving heart WEEP LIKE A FUCKING BABY, but …
* Oh no, they didn't. THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO DRAG THE "HAUNTER OF THE DARK" INTO THINGS. NYARLATHOTEP IS MY EVIL MALICIOUS BABY, SUPERNATURAL. LEAVE HIM ALONE. LEAVE NYARLATHOTEP THE CRAWLING CHAOS ALONE. I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GO ALL "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" ON YOU.
* and we cut to Sam and Dean, having a bitch-session about Dean's boyfriend.
* "I'm sorry, but Jebediah Campbell has SQUAT to tell me about how to keep Cas from crackin' Purgatory."
* Cas stole the journal of one, Moishe Campbell, of the New York Campbells. … ha ha. His name is Moses (no, really, "Moishe" or "Moshe" is the Hebrew version of "Moses," which is the Egyptian/Hellenic Greek form of the name), and he wrote a journal that's going to lead the Winchester boys to some very important information. Just like how Moses wrote the Tablets of the Law. My scholarly heart is amused. ( And I like the way this nonny thinks.)
* "Hi, glad to meet ya. Bobby Singer, paranoid bastard."
* SAM YOU ARE SUCH A NERD FOR GETTING WHO HP LOVECRAFT IS.
* "I was too busy having sex with women…" Dean, get the fuck down off your high horse, okay? You are a fucking Star Trek fanboy. That, and Sam and Bobby are really tired of hearing how heterosexual you are today.
* … sighs. Okay, this scene is forcing me to make a confession. One that I consider kind of shameful, mostly because I've been avoiding it for so long, but … I kind of ship Sam and Dean. I blame this season, season four, tumblr, and the anime for convincing me. (And tifaching's "Acoustics" series for playing to my kinks so much it hurts and making me scream out in pleasure/pain. … And shipping them both with Adam for opening my eyes to Wincest.)
Mind you, I don't OTP them - my Dean OTP is still Dean/Cas, and … I little black dress Sam, I think. Not as much as I little black dress Lilith, but I like Sam with everybody (except John, Mary, Grandpa Fuckface, and Bobby, because … (grand)parental incest/parental figure pseudo-cest are two of my big, big squicks; I can't even read Sirius/Harry or Remus/Harry). I think my favorites for him are Jessica, Ruby, Lucifer, Cas, and maybe Gabriel, though. (That said, I'm getting really, really picky about the quality of the Sam/Gabriel that I like. There's way too much happy, fluffy fic going around and … I just can't buy it. … I actually kind of want to write Robo!Sam/Gabriel so I have an excuse for it being dark and painful and not-nice.)
So yeah. I kind of prefer shipping the boys with Adam, since it bothers the part of me that loves biology a lot less, but … Sam and Dean are both adults and capable of consenting, so it's not like sexual assault flavored incest (Wee!chesters-cest is still a no-no for me, beyond a non-sexual "Sam and Dean love each other more than anything," which is backed up by canon anyway, so…) and I think their relationship is so fucked up anyway that adding sex to the mix couldn't possibly make it worse, so. … Yeah.
You win, Wincesters. I was wrong; you were right; Sam/Dean is really, really hot and I'm … kind of ashamed to admit it, but at the same time, I feel a lot better now that it's off my chest.
* ha. Ben is reading a Cthulhu magazine.
* awww, Lisa's boyfriend is cute.
* OKAY, LISA AND DEAN, SERIOUSLY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. HOW DID YOU NOT PUT A FUCKING DEVIL'S TRAP SOMEWHERE ON THE FUCKING HOUSE. BOTH OF YOU CAUGHT THE GODDAMN IDIOT BALL.
* Crowely, you son of a bitch. "Right, right, you'll rip me a cornucopia of orifices…"
* "You're adorable when you get all threatening."
* … you're assuming that Cas knows about Lisa and Ben. I am disappoint. :(
* … OKAY. OKAY, SERIOUSLY. NO. I CALL SHENANIGANS. DEAN, YOU ARE TRYING TO HANDLE THINGS ON YOUR OWN JUST LIKE YOU TOLD CAS NOT TO DO … AND YOU GOT PISSED AT HIM FOR GOING HIS OWN WAY? BULLSHIT. I'M GOING TO PRETEND TO BE MAD AT YOU NOW.
* "I'm sorry, boys - do I look like a manservant to you? … I was drinking a '75 Dom out of a soprano's navel when you called. That was important." Balthazar, as ever, has his priorities in order. Also, he likes expensive vintage champagne. I think that, if I ever write a Futurama crossover or fusion, Balthazar and Gabriel will have to fight to the death over who gets to be Zapp Brannigan. (Which makes Cas Leela. … which makes Dean Fry. … so I guess Sam gets to be both Bender AND Yancy, which is hysterically funny, since Bender can be soulless AND not.)
* "Maybe there is a shred of decency under this snarky crap…" "*drinks champagne*" LOL SORRY DEAN, JUST BECAUSE GABRIEL CHANGED OVER DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN MAKE BALTHY DO IT. Especially not since Gabriel didn't do it for you, really. I mean, you did convince him that people were okay, but he also had Kali in mind there and, without her influence, he might not have bothered, since he was pretty willing to fuck the fuck off if she came with him. Just saying.
* Speaking of … how IS Kali doing? Where the Hell is she in all of this season six stuff?
* "I'm in a longterm online relationship, so …" Me too, horror fanboy dude. Yeah … definitely.
* "Trenchcoat - looks like Columbo, talks like Rain Man…"
* Yeah, because HP Lovecraft, the king of fucking antisocial racist bastards, would have a fucking dinner party … even if it was just six fellow worshipers of a black magic cult.
* Sam can do badass math in his head. <3
* DEAN. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. AND BEN AND SERA. JUST … WHAT. OKAY, I GET IT, TORTURE IS A CONVENIENT WAY FOR YOU TO SHOW JUST HOW UNHINGED AND UNHEALTHY DEAN IS WILLING TO GET FOR PEOPLE HE LOVES BUT CAN YOU PLEASE STOP DOING IT UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO SHOW HIM DEALING WITH THE GODDAMN REPERCUSSIONS OF THIS. STOP ACTING LIKE SEASON FOUR NEVER HAPPENED. PLEASE. FOR GOD'S SAKE.
* And Sam is praying to his brother-in-law. Poor bb … but Cas … SHOWS UP.
* Crowley calls Cas "sweetie."
* Random interlude: I went to supernaturalwiki to look up what song was playing when Cas came to go batshit on Crowley - first of all: "Smiling Faces Sometimes" by The Undisputed Truth is a fucking badass song; second, sweet zombie Jesus, READ THESE LYRICS, Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend / Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within / … / Smiling faces, smiling faces / Tell lies and I got proof / Beware, beware of the handshake / That hides the snake / I'm telling you beware / Beware of the pat on the back / It just might hold you back." THIS IS THE THEME SONG FOR SEASON SIX IN ITS ENTIRETY, I AM CONVINCED.
BUT THAT SAID. Supernatural Wiki had this to say about the HP Lovecraft scene: "H.P. Lovecraft is seen typing his manuscript on a typewriter. These were mechanical devices in use up until the late 20th century, which were used to print text onto paper before computers."
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED TO PEOPLE AND NOW I FEEL OLD. BACK TO THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED RECAP.
* "I'd rather ask forgiveness than permission."
* Balthy, Cas only likes direct questions. We know this.
* "Are you in flagrante with the King of Hades?"
"… Of course not."
"You always were such a terrible liar."
* "And I can only assume that you'd be the vessel, correct? Suck up all those souls into your. self? All that power?"
"It's the only way."
"Or too much juice for you, in which case … you explode, taking a substantial chunk of the planet along with you."
"That won't happen."
"Well, sure. … Of course. … Just tell me … that it's entirely risk free."
FIRSTLY, CAN I JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO DRAW ATTENTION TO SEBASTIAN ROCHÉ'S GORGEOUS, INIMITABLE DICTION? I HAVE TRIED MY VERY BEST TO ACCURATELY RECREATE IT HERE, BUT THERE REALLY IS NO EQUALLING IT AND HIS VOICE IS AUDIO PORN AT ITS FINEST. HE COULD BE RECITING A SPELL TO SUMMON THE GREAT HASTUR AND I WOULD NOT STOP IT.
Secondly … okay, HOW can Cas be certain he won't explode? Because "God chose him"? Or is he downing, I don't know, gallons of demon blood or something? SERA, YOU CANNOT DRAW THESE PARALLELS (i.e., between demon blood!Sam and working with Crowley!Cas) AND NOT GIVE ME VERY SPECIFIC ANALOGIES. I WILL LOSE MY OVERACTIVELY ACADEMIC AND IMAGINATIVE MIND, OKAY. YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME.
There. This has been my requisite selfishness for the day.
* "Your Howler monkeys, of course." … again with the referring to humans as animals - and not just any animals, specifically annoying animals or animals to be used for food (like cattle).
* "In for a penny, in for a pound." … so, this is the Cas/Balthazar ship motto now, right?
* "Liar that one, not who he says…" OKAY, CRAZY OLD MAN IN THE ASYLUM WHOSE ACCENT IS DECIDEDLY NOT FROM PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND. (I don't know where it's from. But it's not Providence.) … either way, thank you for: a. pointing out the obvious (namely that Cas is neither human nor a reporter, and that he's spent this whole season lying his feathered ass off); and b. leaving all kinds of awesome possibilities open.
* "It took my mother. It went into her, she wasn't the same - she even smelled different. And then … she disappeared. And surprise, surprise: one by one, they all start dying." … AND BOBBY IS THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER SAID THEY WERE SORRY ABOUT THE OLD MAN'S MOTHER, OH GOD. BOBBY, WHY ARE YOU SO FABULOUS, I LOVE YOU. ♥
* … I want to be friends with the old guy. Seriously. ♥
* !!!! BOBBY KNOOOOOOWS SOMETHING.
* oh fuck, Dean just broke open the devil's trap because he's a torture-happy moron. (Somewhere, Dean-o, Alastair is WEEPING that his favorite student has fallen so far. Which, on the good-for-Dean level, I don't mind, since … it's better for Dean to not be Supernatural's resident Jack Bauer. But my Dean/Alastair shipping heart is so disappointed. THEY HAD SUCH PROMISE. BUT I'LL SEE THEM BACK IN CLASS. MONDAY MORNING.)
* IT'S DEAN'S BOYFRAN TO THE RESCUE. AND DEAN IS ALL "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR HELP" BECAUSE HE'S STILL PISSED, AND CAS IS ALL "WELL REGARDLESS YOU'RE WELCOME" BECAUSE HE STILL WANTS SOME GRATITUDE AND AND AND. MARRIAGE COUNSELING, BOYS. MARRIAGE COUNSELING. GET ASH DOWN HERE FROM HEAVEN AND GABRIEL UP FROM PURGATORY TO OFFICIATE AND MAYBE EVEN MEG AND BELA UP FROM HELL EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT WILL HELP YOU.
* "You don't believe me?" "I don't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth."
* "I thought you said that we were like family. Shouldn't trust run both ways? … Dean, I do everything that you ask, I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still. Despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats … I just saved you. Yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?"
I HAVE ALL OF THE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS AND I AM GOING TO START SOBBING IN MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE OH GOD BECAUSE I CAN'T TELL WHICH FEELING IS STRONGER. ON THE ONE HAND, ALL OF THE AWARDS FOR MISHA AND JENSEN RIGHT NOW. SERIOUSLY. THEIR FACES AND THEIR VOICES AND JUST EVERYTHING IS SO PERFECT ABOUT THIS SCENE.
ON THE OTHER HAND, THOUGH, I'M LIKE … CAS. CAS, BABY. AND DEAN-O. MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS BABIES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHY DO YOU MAKE IT HURT SO BADLY CAN'T WE ALL JUST HUG IT OUT. PLEASE? I'LL BE GOOD AND STOP CRYING, I PROMISE. I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUUUUUUCH, OH GOD, AND THEY'RE SO SAD, AND CAS. I FEEL SO BAD FOR BOTH OF THEM. BECAUSE CAS IS SO ALONE, AND DEAN IS SO HEARTBROKEN, AND AND … ALL OF THE TEARS FOREVER.
On the tentacle, though … oh, Cas. Oh, Castiel, you devious little bastard. I love you so fucking much, you manipulative shit. You know how much of a button family is for Dean and I think you're being earnest AND manipulative. Especially since you KNOW that Sam is actually the only family member who's really given that much up for Dean and that even that was imperfect. Like, yeah, John sold his soul to get Dean back … but John was also an emotionally abusive fuckwad who raised Dean like a fucking soldier and is pretty much entirely the reason why Dean's sense of self-worth is constantly set at negative-one or less, so that was a pretty shallow display of, "Hey, kid, look how much I love you! I totally didn't care when you were dying earlier, but, lulz, now you can't be mad at me - oh, and btw, you might have to kill your brother sometime in the vaguely defined future, lulz, kthxbye. :D" And Bobby's been "Uncle Bobby" for a while, but he hasn't always been tree.
And Sam … he and Dean are so erotically codependent, but they've also both been so bad to each other before - both intentionally and not - which all makes a lot of sense, because like I said in my confession above, they love each other more than anything, and that works for both good and bad ends. On the one hand, it means that they'll keep saving each other, again and again, taking multiple lickings and keeping on ticking like the fucking Rolex watches of hunting -
But on the other, since they know each other so well and since, on some level, they know how bad it is for them to only fully trust each other (especially since season four - arguably the interim between s3 and s4, since Dean was dead, Sam didn't trust Bobby, and he played right into Ruby's cute little claws), which is why they've expanded their circle of trust to include Cas and Bobby (and why it's such a violation of that trust that Cas has started falling off the slippery slope, and why Dean took it so hard that Robo!Sam trusted Grandpa Fuckface more than his brother and that Grandpa Fuckface made them Crowley's bitches and tried to feed them into a meat grinder). … But regardless of who they add to the circle of trust and who violates it by doing what, they're the ones who know the most about each other, and so they're the ones who can hurt each other the most.
They know exactly what to say to get to each other, and it's an amazing level of fucking trust that they have in each other that keeps them working together. (Well, that, and the knowledge that they keep each other human, see "The End." See, season four.)
* Dammit, now I want Dom/sub Sam/Dean fic where they take turns being the dominant and submissive one - it doesn't even need to be sexy; it can be an asexual kink of theirs that they indulge privately because it has such a potential to go to a sexual place for them.
* … I want Death or Tessa or demon!Bela to comfort Dean now, since … they never actually had his trust in the first place (except Death, a little bit), so they couldn't violate it. And Bela, at least, understands what it's like to trust someone and have it completely used against you (since … that's what child sexual assault is/does, especially when it's a parent doing it, as "Time Is On My Side" implied).
* And since I'm interluding anyway and know the spoilers: … I really, really, really hope that season seven doesn't turn into "Cas is evil now and we must hunt/destroy him." WWBD, Ben and Sera: WHAT WOULD BUFFY DO. Which is to say: I want them to go all dark!Willow up in this piece and, instead of having the day be saved by acts of heroism that seem unrealistic because, while they look really cool, they're not actually that true to Sam and Dean's characters, let alone the world-view of the show, let Cas (and by extension, the day) be saved by the words of a friend.
(In the potential fusion I might write after rewatching the dark!Willow arc of s6: Sam is Buffy [given special powers but not always enjoying them, potential for a lot of darkness (if we accept that Faith is kind of nega!Buffy for a while) and self-interest, wants to be normal and can't be, but eventually comes to accept this; often underestimated because hey, she's just a teenage/twenty-something girl/he's just a human, what can she/he actually do to powerful supernatural creatures];
Bobby is Giles [wizened mentor figure, snarky, doesn't always know if he's doing the right thing, gets shipped with a mother figure - yeah, I did just compare Bobby/Ellen to Giles/Joyce];
Cas is Willow [phenomenal cosmic power and, with the advent of true choice and free will, and God deciding to fuck off to Bali and drink margaritas on the beach with Becky or whatever he's been doing all season, a massive fucking overdose on it; socially awkward but possessed of much sex appeal; very useful, despite some moments of social graces fail, or naivety, or deciding that he feels like a jerk-ass today, or whatever; often underestimated, much to the detriment of those who do so (see, this season, where no one thought Cas could do any of what he's done; see, "Abandon All Hope…" wherein both Lucifer and Meg taunted him to the effect of, "lulz, you are completely helpless unless you go Dark Side"); and totally riding the whirlwind on THE POWERFUL RUSH OF MAGIC/POWER, and he even has a skeevy dealer like Willow did];
and Dean is Xander [a long-suffering mostly normal guy, just trying to do the best he can in a world that's gone to fucking Hell in a hand-basket, rejecting the possibility of being supernaturally enhanced (see, his rejection of Michael and his early resistance to accepting both Cas AND the idea that God cared about him personally, let alone enough to have angels raise him from Perdition); has a really shitty relationship with his father; tries to be supportive but doesn't always succeed and, furthermore, doesn't always understand the people he tries to support; often underestimated, much to the detriment of everyone who does so because his strength doesn't come from demon blood or angel magic or being the slayer or working spells, but from the fact that he has immense fortitude, strength of heart and character, etc. - and because of the Profound Bond, I hope he'd be the one to talk Cas down, like Xander did with Dark!Willow].
So … them's my thoughts on why I think the Ghostfacers' motto of "what would Buffy do" is extremely relevant to this situation.)
On a more lit-crit-y note, though: addiction is a really powerful theme in general (as is the secrecy that tends to come with it in its depictions in popular media, see Sam telling Dean about the Sam/Ruby sexytimes but not the demon blood; see Willow manipulating Tara's memory), and a great metaphor to use for going over to "the Dark Side" and figuring the whole "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" idea, especially (for my generation, anyway, I don't know about the rest) since the popularization of using things that are addictive and hurtful, like Adderall and speed and, if you're Saved By The Bell, caffeine pills, in order to achieve good ends (usually, doing really well at school).
And there are other "good intentions lead to using dangerous things" plots, too - like, drinking or doing drugs to numb the pain so one can function and do one's job (hi, Dean and Bobby) … and we've been here before with demon blood!Sam, and it's how dark!Willow happened on Buffy, but that's because this is a really powerful storyline and one with a lot of potential. And "redeeming" Cas wouldn't necessarily need to be like either of their stories; he has his own character arc and while I think that bringing him back to the family could be very powerfully done by going all dark!Willow and Xander - or, alternately, going all "Amok Time" Spock/Kirk up in this piece: have Cas kill Dean or think he does, go "OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE" and snap out of it, then bring Dean back for a tearful "I'm so fucking sorry, please, I need help" reunion - it doesn't have to be.
Like, let's examine our three examples here (Willow, Cas, and Sam):
Willow was using magic, which wasn't explicitly bad in the Buffy-verse in the same way it is in SPN; what was bad was her growing dependence on it (to the point that she couldn't even go a day without using it) and the fact that she started using it to do things like modify Tara's memory. Then, Tara died, Willow went off the rails, and she lost her reason to keep moderating her magic use, and what finally brought her back was Xander being awesome and loving and there for her.
Sam was using his powers, which were sort of in a Limbo area - like, on the one hand, his early visions weren't always accurate and they had the potential to save people, not that they really did (see, Max Millar); on the other, they were indisputably linked to Azazel over and over and over again (and to going Dark Side, since Andy didn't, but Ava and Jake and Ansem all did), and more than that, they were linked to a fundamental wrong-ness, a "being bad in the blood," the taint of demon blood that makes Sam "an abomination," possibly even before he and Ruby started the demon blood regimen (even though Cas only called him that in season five). Also, see the Dean/Sam conversation in "When the Levee Breaks" that involved the line, "It's not what you're doing; it's what you are!"
… but, like, despite all of the negative associations with the demon powers, Sam DID use them to do good things - he saved people who were possessed by demons, namely, and one of the Big Things on Show is that, while Sam and Dean's "crippling and dangerous empathetic responses" are … well, crippling and dangerous and often go in the way of the Greater Good, it still matters to save the individual lives. It's like in the Talmud: "He who kills a man, it is as if he has destroyed an entire world," and strike that, reverse it for saving people, or however the quote goes; by killing a person, you also eliminate all of their possible descendants and all of the possible good that they and said descendants could do, and really, in the face of growing cosmic horrors, what do we have to hold onto except for individual lives?
Like, Death is so tetchy about being bound to Lucifer because Luci is a petulant brat having a tantrum over one tiny little planet in the outer spiral arm of a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers; the universe is BIG, horrifyingly BIG and full of STUFF, and we cannot fathom the forces who control it (who don't really seem to care that much about us, aside from Death's fondness for pizza and Dean, and God's randomly mucking about, playing skeeball and buying Becky Yellow-Eyed Coolers or whatever), and ruminating on that for too long, trying to actively change the course of those events or even entertaining the possibility that we could … that's enough to drive someone completely 'round the bend.
(Trust me; I know from personal experience. Another good example, though, is the Total Perspective Vortex from The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, and Douglas Adams's basic argument with it is that if a person ever gains enough "sense of perspective" to really know where they fit in the universe, their mind will all but explode in their skull because … well. Our realistic position in the universe sucks. A lot. And it challenges a lot of the basic assumptions that we've come to rely on in order to survive - to put it in Freudian terms: life and the things we obsess over, even the ones that aren't "bad," tend to become gigantic ego defense mechanisms because any crack that lets in the realization of how utterly insignificant we are threatens our ability to retain both a sense of individuality and of belonging in a community, which we need, because we're social animals and not having some kind of human contact is bad for us.)
And looking at Sam's arc in the big picture … jury's still out on whether or not opening the Final Seal was a good thing. It looked like it probably was: after all, it directly led to the Apocalypse, but said prize fight got averted, leaving us in a world where free will rules all, which is supposed to be good in Show's Viewpoint, since Dean, like his homeboy James Tiberius Kirk, is the King of Take A Third Option and Sam's whole character arc is always coming back to fighting who you want to be and who other people want you to be (whether said other people are your brother and father, or angels and demons), and landing on the side of, "You need to be who you want to be, but doing that to the exclusion of other people's advice is Bad News Bears - also be careful of who you trust because it might be Ruby."
… but then, this season has thrown that conclusion completely out of whack by bringing in some realistic repercussions of Dean and Sam's (and Cas and Bobby's, and Jo and Ellen's, and Gabriel and Crowley's, sort of … and Death's, in his way) actions and sacrifices in the name stopping the Apocalypse. Supernatural's universe NEEDS some kind of order, and there seems to be a presumption on the parts of some people that the Natural Order (life and death being allowed to exist, Eve's kids hunt some humans and humans hunt some of Eve's kids, etc.) is The Middle Path, and thus the best option … but that it's also dependent on God, on some level.
Which has some squiffy implications, but makes sense enough: God and Death have been around since the beginning and they're inherently opposed forces of life and death who work together. … but since God has apparently fucked off - or, arguably, since the Winchesters have, in fighting the destiny they were given, rendered him useless - he's not there to keep the natural order in line … except that this isn't really what happened. It appears to be, but what really happened is that humans didn't notice the Apocalypse, outside of some hunters in the know and also Lisa, and their lives continued mostly as usual … except that the monsters started going haywire, which is why Dean got back to being involved.
… oh god. This means that the monsters going crazy and "breaking the rules" that we saw at the beginning of the season actually had a purpose. … oh my god. On the one hand, they were going nuts because Crowley and Cas had declared open war on Eve and were trying to find Purgatory (and thus, the raising of Eve wasn't malicious; it was an act of self-defense); on the other, they could exist in places they couldn't before because ripping up the rulebook does that, AND possibly because Eve's growing wrath at her children's torment gave them power. Oh my god, oh my god … THEY SAID THAT THERE WAS GOING TO BE A SLOW BUILD TO A SEASON MYTH-ARC IN THE RETURN TO THE MONSTER OF THE WEEK FORMAT AND THERE WAS AND THEY WERE RIGHT AND AND OH MY GOD, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS FULLY PLANNED OR A HAPPY ACCIDENT, BUT OH MY GOD, BEN AND SERA, YOU … THIS IS STILL NOT MY FAVORITE SEASON (that would be season four), BUT I APPLAUD YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR THIS WORK. All of the applause, guys. ALL OF IT.
… and oh god, this is such an accidental meta commentary on how the writing process sometimes takes on a life of its own, my head hurts and I can't even.
* also, while we're talking about God: I really want to kick Chuck in the head and tell him to get off his dead, lazy ass and come be a fucking father to his trench-coat-wearing son. But moving right along now.
* random thought: … so, I know Sam's mostly human and all, but there have been TWO times now when he's taken in more demon blood than any human being should be able to - and yeah, Famine says that it will never hurt him … but it WILL change him. We have EVIDENCE that "potential vessel + demon blood = permanent change" (see, the fact that the Special Kids developed powers in the first place; see, the physical manifestation of permanent change in the way Nick got scarred by trying to contain Lucifer's grace). … So, um. Has the vaguely demon-flavored part of him had any trouble with all of the creature-related shenanigans of this season?
* Jesus Fucking God, I could watch Jensen and Misha emote at each other all day. Seriously, these two. Maybe Jensen just has chemistry with everyone ever, but he especially has it with Jared and Misha, and it makes the Sam/Dean and Cas/Dean love connections that much more effective.
* "All I ask is this one thing."
"Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?"
"I've earned that, Dean. … I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. … Stand behind me. The one time I ask."
"You're askin' me to stand down? … You know that's the same ransom note that Crowley gave me, right?"
THEY BOTH LOOK SO HURT OH MY GOD. AND I FEEL FOR THEM. I FEEL FOR BOTH OF THEM. I CAN'T PICK ONE OR THE OTHER BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH MY BABIES AND THEY BOTH HAVE SUCH VALID POINTS - CAS IS TRYING TO SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD FROM RAPHAEL TURNING ARMAGEDDON BACK ON, BUT DEAN FUNDAMENTALLY CANNOT CARE ABOUT THAT OUTSIDE OF A HUMAN LEVEL AND RIGHT NOW, HIS HUMAN LEVEL IS SO CONCERNED WITH LISA AND BEN (WHO ARE PRETTY MUCH A PART OF HIS FAMILY, EVEN IF HE CAN'T EVER REALLY BE WITH LISA AND EVEN IF SHOW KEEPS DENYING THAT BEN IS HIS SON) AND AND AND OH MY GOD, BOYS.
The one point on which I'm kind of mad at Dean is this: oh my god, Dean Winchester, you do not do that to someone who feels so hurt and broken and alone as Cas does. You just don't … but, then again, asking Dean to show his emotions in a conventional way and outside of eleventh hour situations is kind of like asking a fish to do complex calculus. He is, for various reasons, incapable of doing it. And I understand why he can't show Cas that he wants to help him, but that just makes it hurt more that he doesn't.
* HI, DOCTOR VISYAK. I LIKE YOU. ♥
* … she and Bobby are both being so casual about her being the eldritch thing from Purgatory, oh god. … I ship them so hard, now. There's just … I can't even. I love them. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIIE.
* … and there went the casual. … but, hey, it's still a pretty easy conversation, considering the subject matter.
* "You know, we're not all alike-"
"Monsters?"
"If it makes you feel better to call me that, fine."
"You're from freaking Purgatory? You never thought to mention that the whole time you slept with me?"
"I am what I am, Bobby. And I happen to be a friend."
"You wanna explain that to me?"
"I didn't ask those idiots to crack open the door; I just happened to be the thing that fell through - and let me tell you something, you are lucky it was me."
"You saying you're on our side?"
"I'm on my side. I happen to like it here. I don't wanna see this place turned into some bloody wasteland."
Point first: OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
Point second: thank you for acknowledging this point again, Supernatural. More than Lenore, Eleanor, and Elias (and a handful of others) would probably be cool too. Just saying.
* … oh my god, Eleanor is such a badass. SHE'S SPENT 75 YEARS TRYING TO KEEP PURGATORY CLOSED, HOLY SHIT, WHAT A BAMF.
* OH BOBBY. OH BOBBY, YOU PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL MAN. ♥
* "I know I'm going to live to regret this, but … I'm officially on your team. You bastards." Oh, Balthy. I love you, you beautiful, self-righteous, self-serving douchebag. "God be with you, and what have you."
* OH NO SAMMY. D:
* So … Lisa looks scared and Ben is just confused. He's like, "meeeeh, who are these not-Dean men who want to bone my mom." AND THE DEMONS KEEP CATCHING THE GODDAMN IDIOT BALL. DEAN BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR LIKE A BIG DAMN HERO. AND LISA IS FUCKING POSSESSED, JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY, SHE IS POSSESSED.
* … oh god, Cindy Sampson is s- FUCKING KRIPKE'D OH MY GOD … dkgfjfghgdhf, AND JOSSED. "What, you're her white knight now? She wishes she never met you, Dean. You're the worst mistake she ever made. … Second worst. After keeping you." okay, so um, how about a ROUND OF FUCKING APPLAUSE FOR CINDY SAMPSON AND HER BRILLIANT TURN AS DEMON!LISA?
* … but why would you give me that and then take it away, Ben and Sera? Why tell me Dean is Ben's biological father and TAKE IT AWAAAAAY … especially by calling Lisa a slut. :\
* "Says the C-minus lay with ten miles of daddy issues."
* RETURN OF THE AMAZING EXORCISM INCANTATION, I LOVE IT.
* "You can go to Hell, you black-eyed bitch." … Jo is still on Dean's mind, omg. ♥
* AND DEAN. DEAN, YOU BEAUTIFUL … OH GOD IT HURTS. HE EXORCISED THE DEMON FROM LISA AND AND AND OH MY GOD IT HUUUUUUUUUUUURTS. AND HE'S GIVING BEN ADVICE ON HOW TO SHOOT THE SALT GUN. AND OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. … OH MAN, THERE ARE SO MANY PARALLELS TO THE AENEID RIGHT NOW. … not as much as Anakin carrying Obi-Wan while leading Palpatine off of General Greivous's ship in Revenge of the Sith, but still.
* … oh god, Dean and Ben at Lisa's bedside. … and Ben is so mad.
* "I'm sorry." "I don't care."
* "Well, regardless, I didn't come for you." - oh, god, BOYS. Why do you have to be so emotionally stunted and BEAUTIFUL OH GOD IT HUUUUUUURTS.
* "Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it." "… thank you. … I wish this changed anything." "… I know. So do I. All this aside, I just wanted to fix what I could." - this is hurting him so much, oh god, Jensen, why are you so GOOD.
* OH GOD AND DEAN'S FACE WHEN HE ASKS CAS TO … AND DEAN'S FACE WHEN HE'S WAITING OUTSIDE OF LISA'S ROOM … AND WHEN BEN ASKS WHO HE IS. AND OH MY GOD, IT HURTS. "I just … I, uh, lost control for a minute. And I wanted to say I'm sorry, and I'm glad you two are both okay. I'm just, I'm glad your life can get back to normal now." OH MY SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS MY HEAAAART. MY HEAAAAAAAAAART.
* "I'll leave you two alone. … You take care of your mom." DEAN MY PRECIOUS WOOBIE-FACE OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WHY DO YOU MAKE IT HURT SO BAD.
* … hello, parallel to that scene where Robo!Sam said he didn't feel anything.
* "Dean, you know, you have pulled some shady crap before, but this has got to be the worst. … White-washing their memories? Take it from somebody who knows-" "If you ever mention Lisa or Ben to me again, I will break your nose." "Dean-" "I'm not kidding."
OH GOD WHY DOES IT HUUUUUUUUUURT.
* OH NO ELEANOR. NO NO NO, NOT ELEANOR. I KNEW IT WAS COMING - AND AWESOME SHOT OF HER AND CAS IN THE WINDOW - BUT IT STILL HUUUUURTS.
* on to "The Man Who Knew Too Much."
In summation:
* Cold open on HP Lovecraft. Drinking and typing most furiously. And the door creeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaks open. … I mean, I already know that this depiction of Lovecraft is going to make my Cthulhu mythos-loving heart WEEP LIKE A FUCKING BABY, but …
* Oh no, they didn't. THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO DRAG THE "HAUNTER OF THE DARK" INTO THINGS. NYARLATHOTEP IS MY EVIL MALICIOUS BABY, SUPERNATURAL. LEAVE HIM ALONE. LEAVE NYARLATHOTEP THE CRAWLING CHAOS ALONE. I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GO ALL "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE" ON YOU.
* and we cut to Sam and Dean, having a bitch-session about Dean's boyfriend.
* "I'm sorry, but Jebediah Campbell has SQUAT to tell me about how to keep Cas from crackin' Purgatory."
* Cas stole the journal of one, Moishe Campbell, of the New York Campbells. … ha ha. His name is Moses (no, really, "Moishe" or "Moshe" is the Hebrew version of "Moses," which is the Egyptian/Hellenic Greek form of the name), and he wrote a journal that's going to lead the Winchester boys to some very important information. Just like how Moses wrote the Tablets of the Law. My scholarly heart is amused. ( And I like the way this nonny thinks.)
* "Hi, glad to meet ya. Bobby Singer, paranoid bastard."
* SAM YOU ARE SUCH A NERD FOR GETTING WHO HP LOVECRAFT IS.
* "I was too busy having sex with women…" Dean, get the fuck down off your high horse, okay? You are a fucking Star Trek fanboy. That, and Sam and Bobby are really tired of hearing how heterosexual you are today.
* … sighs. Okay, this scene is forcing me to make a confession. One that I consider kind of shameful, mostly because I've been avoiding it for so long, but … I kind of ship Sam and Dean. I blame this season, season four, tumblr, and the anime for convincing me. (And tifaching's "Acoustics" series for playing to my kinks so much it hurts and making me scream out in pleasure/pain. … And shipping them both with Adam for opening my eyes to Wincest.)
Mind you, I don't OTP them - my Dean OTP is still Dean/Cas, and … I little black dress Sam, I think. Not as much as I little black dress Lilith, but I like Sam with everybody (except John, Mary, Grandpa Fuckface, and Bobby, because … (grand)parental incest/parental figure pseudo-cest are two of my big, big squicks; I can't even read Sirius/Harry or Remus/Harry). I think my favorites for him are Jessica, Ruby, Lucifer, Cas, and maybe Gabriel, though. (That said, I'm getting really, really picky about the quality of the Sam/Gabriel that I like. There's way too much happy, fluffy fic going around and … I just can't buy it. … I actually kind of want to write Robo!Sam/Gabriel so I have an excuse for it being dark and painful and not-nice.)
So yeah. I kind of prefer shipping the boys with Adam, since it bothers the part of me that loves biology a lot less, but … Sam and Dean are both adults and capable of consenting, so it's not like sexual assault flavored incest (Wee!chesters-cest is still a no-no for me, beyond a non-sexual "Sam and Dean love each other more than anything," which is backed up by canon anyway, so…) and I think their relationship is so fucked up anyway that adding sex to the mix couldn't possibly make it worse, so. … Yeah.
You win, Wincesters. I was wrong; you were right; Sam/Dean is really, really hot and I'm … kind of ashamed to admit it, but at the same time, I feel a lot better now that it's off my chest.
* ha. Ben is reading a Cthulhu magazine.
* awww, Lisa's boyfriend is cute.
* OKAY, LISA AND DEAN, SERIOUSLY. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. HOW DID YOU NOT PUT A FUCKING DEVIL'S TRAP SOMEWHERE ON THE FUCKING HOUSE. BOTH OF YOU CAUGHT THE GODDAMN IDIOT BALL.
* Crowely, you son of a bitch. "Right, right, you'll rip me a cornucopia of orifices…"
* "You're adorable when you get all threatening."
* … you're assuming that Cas knows about Lisa and Ben. I am disappoint. :(
* … OKAY. OKAY, SERIOUSLY. NO. I CALL SHENANIGANS. DEAN, YOU ARE TRYING TO HANDLE THINGS ON YOUR OWN JUST LIKE YOU TOLD CAS NOT TO DO … AND YOU GOT PISSED AT HIM FOR GOING HIS OWN WAY? BULLSHIT. I'M GOING TO PRETEND TO BE MAD AT YOU NOW.
* "I'm sorry, boys - do I look like a manservant to you? … I was drinking a '75 Dom out of a soprano's navel when you called. That was important." Balthazar, as ever, has his priorities in order. Also, he likes expensive vintage champagne. I think that, if I ever write a Futurama crossover or fusion, Balthazar and Gabriel will have to fight to the death over who gets to be Zapp Brannigan. (Which makes Cas Leela. … which makes Dean Fry. … so I guess Sam gets to be both Bender AND Yancy, which is hysterically funny, since Bender can be soulless AND not.)
* "Maybe there is a shred of decency under this snarky crap…" "*drinks champagne*" LOL SORRY DEAN, JUST BECAUSE GABRIEL CHANGED OVER DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN MAKE BALTHY DO IT. Especially not since Gabriel didn't do it for you, really. I mean, you did convince him that people were okay, but he also had Kali in mind there and, without her influence, he might not have bothered, since he was pretty willing to fuck the fuck off if she came with him. Just saying.
* Speaking of … how IS Kali doing? Where the Hell is she in all of this season six stuff?
* "I'm in a longterm online relationship, so …" Me too, horror fanboy dude. Yeah … definitely.
* "Trenchcoat - looks like Columbo, talks like Rain Man…"
* Yeah, because HP Lovecraft, the king of fucking antisocial racist bastards, would have a fucking dinner party … even if it was just six fellow worshipers of a black magic cult.
* Sam can do badass math in his head. <3
* DEAN. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. AND BEN AND SERA. JUST … WHAT. OKAY, I GET IT, TORTURE IS A CONVENIENT WAY FOR YOU TO SHOW JUST HOW UNHINGED AND UNHEALTHY DEAN IS WILLING TO GET FOR PEOPLE HE LOVES BUT CAN YOU PLEASE STOP DOING IT UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO SHOW HIM DEALING WITH THE GODDAMN REPERCUSSIONS OF THIS. STOP ACTING LIKE SEASON FOUR NEVER HAPPENED. PLEASE. FOR GOD'S SAKE.
* And Sam is praying to his brother-in-law. Poor bb … but Cas … SHOWS UP.
* Crowley calls Cas "sweetie."
* Random interlude: I went to supernaturalwiki to look up what song was playing when Cas came to go batshit on Crowley - first of all: "Smiling Faces Sometimes" by The Undisputed Truth is a fucking badass song; second, sweet zombie Jesus, READ THESE LYRICS, Smiling faces sometimes pretend to be your friend / Smiling faces show no traces of the evil that lurks within / … / Smiling faces, smiling faces / Tell lies and I got proof / Beware, beware of the handshake / That hides the snake / I'm telling you beware / Beware of the pat on the back / It just might hold you back." THIS IS THE THEME SONG FOR SEASON SIX IN ITS ENTIRETY, I AM CONVINCED.
BUT THAT SAID. Supernatural Wiki had this to say about the HP Lovecraft scene: "H.P. Lovecraft is seen typing his manuscript on a typewriter. These were mechanical devices in use up until the late 20th century, which were used to print text onto paper before computers."
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED TO PEOPLE AND NOW I FEEL OLD. BACK TO THE PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED RECAP.
* "I'd rather ask forgiveness than permission."
* Balthy, Cas only likes direct questions. We know this.
* "Are you in flagrante with the King of Hades?"
"… Of course not."
"You always were such a terrible liar."
* "And I can only assume that you'd be the vessel, correct? Suck up all those souls into your. self? All that power?"
"It's the only way."
"Or too much juice for you, in which case … you explode, taking a substantial chunk of the planet along with you."
"That won't happen."
"Well, sure. … Of course. … Just tell me … that it's entirely risk free."
FIRSTLY, CAN I JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO DRAW ATTENTION TO SEBASTIAN ROCHÉ'S GORGEOUS, INIMITABLE DICTION? I HAVE TRIED MY VERY BEST TO ACCURATELY RECREATE IT HERE, BUT THERE REALLY IS NO EQUALLING IT AND HIS VOICE IS AUDIO PORN AT ITS FINEST. HE COULD BE RECITING A SPELL TO SUMMON THE GREAT HASTUR AND I WOULD NOT STOP IT.
Secondly … okay, HOW can Cas be certain he won't explode? Because "God chose him"? Or is he downing, I don't know, gallons of demon blood or something? SERA, YOU CANNOT DRAW THESE PARALLELS (i.e., between demon blood!Sam and working with Crowley!Cas) AND NOT GIVE ME VERY SPECIFIC ANALOGIES. I WILL LOSE MY OVERACTIVELY ACADEMIC AND IMAGINATIVE MIND, OKAY. YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME.
There. This has been my requisite selfishness for the day.
* "Your Howler monkeys, of course." … again with the referring to humans as animals - and not just any animals, specifically annoying animals or animals to be used for food (like cattle).
* "In for a penny, in for a pound." … so, this is the Cas/Balthazar ship motto now, right?
* "Liar that one, not who he says…" OKAY, CRAZY OLD MAN IN THE ASYLUM WHOSE ACCENT IS DECIDEDLY NOT FROM PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND. (I don't know where it's from. But it's not Providence.) … either way, thank you for: a. pointing out the obvious (namely that Cas is neither human nor a reporter, and that he's spent this whole season lying his feathered ass off); and b. leaving all kinds of awesome possibilities open.
* "It took my mother. It went into her, she wasn't the same - she even smelled different. And then … she disappeared. And surprise, surprise: one by one, they all start dying." … AND BOBBY IS THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER SAID THEY WERE SORRY ABOUT THE OLD MAN'S MOTHER, OH GOD. BOBBY, WHY ARE YOU SO FABULOUS, I LOVE YOU. ♥
* … I want to be friends with the old guy. Seriously. ♥
* !!!! BOBBY KNOOOOOOWS SOMETHING.
* oh fuck, Dean just broke open the devil's trap because he's a torture-happy moron. (Somewhere, Dean-o, Alastair is WEEPING that his favorite student has fallen so far. Which, on the good-for-Dean level, I don't mind, since … it's better for Dean to not be Supernatural's resident Jack Bauer. But my Dean/Alastair shipping heart is so disappointed. THEY HAD SUCH PROMISE. BUT I'LL SEE THEM BACK IN CLASS. MONDAY MORNING.)
* IT'S DEAN'S BOYFRAN TO THE RESCUE. AND DEAN IS ALL "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR HELP" BECAUSE HE'S STILL PISSED, AND CAS IS ALL "WELL REGARDLESS YOU'RE WELCOME" BECAUSE HE STILL WANTS SOME GRATITUDE AND AND AND. MARRIAGE COUNSELING, BOYS. MARRIAGE COUNSELING. GET ASH DOWN HERE FROM HEAVEN AND GABRIEL UP FROM PURGATORY TO OFFICIATE AND MAYBE EVEN MEG AND BELA UP FROM HELL EVERYTHING BECAUSE IT WILL HELP YOU.
* "You don't believe me?" "I don't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth."
* "I thought you said that we were like family. Shouldn't trust run both ways? … Dean, I do everything that you ask, I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still. Despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats … I just saved you. Yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?"
I HAVE ALL OF THE FEELINGS ABOUT THIS AND I AM GOING TO START SOBBING IN MY DOCTOR'S OFFICE OH GOD BECAUSE I CAN'T TELL WHICH FEELING IS STRONGER. ON THE ONE HAND, ALL OF THE AWARDS FOR MISHA AND JENSEN RIGHT NOW. SERIOUSLY. THEIR FACES AND THEIR VOICES AND JUST EVERYTHING IS SO PERFECT ABOUT THIS SCENE.
ON THE OTHER HAND, THOUGH, I'M LIKE … CAS. CAS, BABY. AND DEAN-O. MY PRECIOUS PRECIOUS BABIES I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHY DO YOU MAKE IT HURT SO BADLY CAN'T WE ALL JUST HUG IT OUT. PLEASE? I'LL BE GOOD AND STOP CRYING, I PROMISE. I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUUUUUUCH, OH GOD, AND THEY'RE SO SAD, AND CAS. I FEEL SO BAD FOR BOTH OF THEM. BECAUSE CAS IS SO ALONE, AND DEAN IS SO HEARTBROKEN, AND AND … ALL OF THE TEARS FOREVER.
On the tentacle, though … oh, Cas. Oh, Castiel, you devious little bastard. I love you so fucking much, you manipulative shit. You know how much of a button family is for Dean and I think you're being earnest AND manipulative. Especially since you KNOW that Sam is actually the only family member who's really given that much up for Dean and that even that was imperfect. Like, yeah, John sold his soul to get Dean back … but John was also an emotionally abusive fuckwad who raised Dean like a fucking soldier and is pretty much entirely the reason why Dean's sense of self-worth is constantly set at negative-one or less, so that was a pretty shallow display of, "Hey, kid, look how much I love you! I totally didn't care when you were dying earlier, but, lulz, now you can't be mad at me - oh, and btw, you might have to kill your brother sometime in the vaguely defined future, lulz, kthxbye. :D" And Bobby's been "Uncle Bobby" for a while, but he hasn't always been tree.
And Sam … he and Dean are so erotically codependent, but they've also both been so bad to each other before - both intentionally and not - which all makes a lot of sense, because like I said in my confession above, they love each other more than anything, and that works for both good and bad ends. On the one hand, it means that they'll keep saving each other, again and again, taking multiple lickings and keeping on ticking like the fucking Rolex watches of hunting -
But on the other, since they know each other so well and since, on some level, they know how bad it is for them to only fully trust each other (especially since season four - arguably the interim between s3 and s4, since Dean was dead, Sam didn't trust Bobby, and he played right into Ruby's cute little claws), which is why they've expanded their circle of trust to include Cas and Bobby (and why it's such a violation of that trust that Cas has started falling off the slippery slope, and why Dean took it so hard that Robo!Sam trusted Grandpa Fuckface more than his brother and that Grandpa Fuckface made them Crowley's bitches and tried to feed them into a meat grinder). … But regardless of who they add to the circle of trust and who violates it by doing what, they're the ones who know the most about each other, and so they're the ones who can hurt each other the most.
They know exactly what to say to get to each other, and it's an amazing level of fucking trust that they have in each other that keeps them working together. (Well, that, and the knowledge that they keep each other human, see "The End." See, season four.)
* Dammit, now I want Dom/sub Sam/Dean fic where they take turns being the dominant and submissive one - it doesn't even need to be sexy; it can be an asexual kink of theirs that they indulge privately because it has such a potential to go to a sexual place for them.
* … I want Death or Tessa or demon!Bela to comfort Dean now, since … they never actually had his trust in the first place (except Death, a little bit), so they couldn't violate it. And Bela, at least, understands what it's like to trust someone and have it completely used against you (since … that's what child sexual assault is/does, especially when it's a parent doing it, as "Time Is On My Side" implied).
* And since I'm interluding anyway and know the spoilers: … I really, really, really hope that season seven doesn't turn into "Cas is evil now and we must hunt/destroy him." WWBD, Ben and Sera: WHAT WOULD BUFFY DO. Which is to say: I want them to go all dark!Willow up in this piece and, instead of having the day be saved by acts of heroism that seem unrealistic because, while they look really cool, they're not actually that true to Sam and Dean's characters, let alone the world-view of the show, let Cas (and by extension, the day) be saved by the words of a friend.
(In the potential fusion I might write after rewatching the dark!Willow arc of s6: Sam is Buffy [given special powers but not always enjoying them, potential for a lot of darkness (if we accept that Faith is kind of nega!Buffy for a while) and self-interest, wants to be normal and can't be, but eventually comes to accept this; often underestimated because hey, she's just a teenage/twenty-something girl/he's just a human, what can she/he actually do to powerful supernatural creatures];
Bobby is Giles [wizened mentor figure, snarky, doesn't always know if he's doing the right thing, gets shipped with a mother figure - yeah, I did just compare Bobby/Ellen to Giles/Joyce];
Cas is Willow [phenomenal cosmic power and, with the advent of true choice and free will, and God deciding to fuck off to Bali and drink margaritas on the beach with Becky or whatever he's been doing all season, a massive fucking overdose on it; socially awkward but possessed of much sex appeal; very useful, despite some moments of social graces fail, or naivety, or deciding that he feels like a jerk-ass today, or whatever; often underestimated, much to the detriment of those who do so (see, this season, where no one thought Cas could do any of what he's done; see, "Abandon All Hope…" wherein both Lucifer and Meg taunted him to the effect of, "lulz, you are completely helpless unless you go Dark Side"); and totally riding the whirlwind on THE POWERFUL RUSH OF MAGIC/POWER, and he even has a skeevy dealer like Willow did];
and Dean is Xander [a long-suffering mostly normal guy, just trying to do the best he can in a world that's gone to fucking Hell in a hand-basket, rejecting the possibility of being supernaturally enhanced (see, his rejection of Michael and his early resistance to accepting both Cas AND the idea that God cared about him personally, let alone enough to have angels raise him from Perdition); has a really shitty relationship with his father; tries to be supportive but doesn't always succeed and, furthermore, doesn't always understand the people he tries to support; often underestimated, much to the detriment of everyone who does so because his strength doesn't come from demon blood or angel magic or being the slayer or working spells, but from the fact that he has immense fortitude, strength of heart and character, etc. - and because of the Profound Bond, I hope he'd be the one to talk Cas down, like Xander did with Dark!Willow].
So … them's my thoughts on why I think the Ghostfacers' motto of "what would Buffy do" is extremely relevant to this situation.)
On a more lit-crit-y note, though: addiction is a really powerful theme in general (as is the secrecy that tends to come with it in its depictions in popular media, see Sam telling Dean about the Sam/Ruby sexytimes but not the demon blood; see Willow manipulating Tara's memory), and a great metaphor to use for going over to "the Dark Side" and figuring the whole "the road to Hell is paved with good intentions" idea, especially (for my generation, anyway, I don't know about the rest) since the popularization of using things that are addictive and hurtful, like Adderall and speed and, if you're Saved By The Bell, caffeine pills, in order to achieve good ends (usually, doing really well at school).
And there are other "good intentions lead to using dangerous things" plots, too - like, drinking or doing drugs to numb the pain so one can function and do one's job (hi, Dean and Bobby) … and we've been here before with demon blood!Sam, and it's how dark!Willow happened on Buffy, but that's because this is a really powerful storyline and one with a lot of potential. And "redeeming" Cas wouldn't necessarily need to be like either of their stories; he has his own character arc and while I think that bringing him back to the family could be very powerfully done by going all dark!Willow and Xander - or, alternately, going all "Amok Time" Spock/Kirk up in this piece: have Cas kill Dean or think he does, go "OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE" and snap out of it, then bring Dean back for a tearful "I'm so fucking sorry, please, I need help" reunion - it doesn't have to be.
Like, let's examine our three examples here (Willow, Cas, and Sam):
Willow was using magic, which wasn't explicitly bad in the Buffy-verse in the same way it is in SPN; what was bad was her growing dependence on it (to the point that she couldn't even go a day without using it) and the fact that she started using it to do things like modify Tara's memory. Then, Tara died, Willow went off the rails, and she lost her reason to keep moderating her magic use, and what finally brought her back was Xander being awesome and loving and there for her.
Sam was using his powers, which were sort of in a Limbo area - like, on the one hand, his early visions weren't always accurate and they had the potential to save people, not that they really did (see, Max Millar); on the other, they were indisputably linked to Azazel over and over and over again (and to going Dark Side, since Andy didn't, but Ava and Jake and Ansem all did), and more than that, they were linked to a fundamental wrong-ness, a "being bad in the blood," the taint of demon blood that makes Sam "an abomination," possibly even before he and Ruby started the demon blood regimen (even though Cas only called him that in season five). Also, see the Dean/Sam conversation in "When the Levee Breaks" that involved the line, "It's not what you're doing; it's what you are!"
… but, like, despite all of the negative associations with the demon powers, Sam DID use them to do good things - he saved people who were possessed by demons, namely, and one of the Big Things on Show is that, while Sam and Dean's "crippling and dangerous empathetic responses" are … well, crippling and dangerous and often go in the way of the Greater Good, it still matters to save the individual lives. It's like in the Talmud: "He who kills a man, it is as if he has destroyed an entire world," and strike that, reverse it for saving people, or however the quote goes; by killing a person, you also eliminate all of their possible descendants and all of the possible good that they and said descendants could do, and really, in the face of growing cosmic horrors, what do we have to hold onto except for individual lives?
Like, Death is so tetchy about being bound to Lucifer because Luci is a petulant brat having a tantrum over one tiny little planet in the outer spiral arm of a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers; the universe is BIG, horrifyingly BIG and full of STUFF, and we cannot fathom the forces who control it (who don't really seem to care that much about us, aside from Death's fondness for pizza and Dean, and God's randomly mucking about, playing skeeball and buying Becky Yellow-Eyed Coolers or whatever), and ruminating on that for too long, trying to actively change the course of those events or even entertaining the possibility that we could … that's enough to drive someone completely 'round the bend.
(Trust me; I know from personal experience. Another good example, though, is the Total Perspective Vortex from The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe, and Douglas Adams's basic argument with it is that if a person ever gains enough "sense of perspective" to really know where they fit in the universe, their mind will all but explode in their skull because … well. Our realistic position in the universe sucks. A lot. And it challenges a lot of the basic assumptions that we've come to rely on in order to survive - to put it in Freudian terms: life and the things we obsess over, even the ones that aren't "bad," tend to become gigantic ego defense mechanisms because any crack that lets in the realization of how utterly insignificant we are threatens our ability to retain both a sense of individuality and of belonging in a community, which we need, because we're social animals and not having some kind of human contact is bad for us.)
And looking at Sam's arc in the big picture … jury's still out on whether or not opening the Final Seal was a good thing. It looked like it probably was: after all, it directly led to the Apocalypse, but said prize fight got averted, leaving us in a world where free will rules all, which is supposed to be good in Show's Viewpoint, since Dean, like his homeboy James Tiberius Kirk, is the King of Take A Third Option and Sam's whole character arc is always coming back to fighting who you want to be and who other people want you to be (whether said other people are your brother and father, or angels and demons), and landing on the side of, "You need to be who you want to be, but doing that to the exclusion of other people's advice is Bad News Bears - also be careful of who you trust because it might be Ruby."
… but then, this season has thrown that conclusion completely out of whack by bringing in some realistic repercussions of Dean and Sam's (and Cas and Bobby's, and Jo and Ellen's, and Gabriel and Crowley's, sort of … and Death's, in his way) actions and sacrifices in the name stopping the Apocalypse. Supernatural's universe NEEDS some kind of order, and there seems to be a presumption on the parts of some people that the Natural Order (life and death being allowed to exist, Eve's kids hunt some humans and humans hunt some of Eve's kids, etc.) is The Middle Path, and thus the best option … but that it's also dependent on God, on some level.
Which has some squiffy implications, but makes sense enough: God and Death have been around since the beginning and they're inherently opposed forces of life and death who work together. … but since God has apparently fucked off - or, arguably, since the Winchesters have, in fighting the destiny they were given, rendered him useless - he's not there to keep the natural order in line … except that this isn't really what happened. It appears to be, but what really happened is that humans didn't notice the Apocalypse, outside of some hunters in the know and also Lisa, and their lives continued mostly as usual … except that the monsters started going haywire, which is why Dean got back to being involved.
… oh god. This means that the monsters going crazy and "breaking the rules" that we saw at the beginning of the season actually had a purpose. … oh my god. On the one hand, they were going nuts because Crowley and Cas had declared open war on Eve and were trying to find Purgatory (and thus, the raising of Eve wasn't malicious; it was an act of self-defense); on the other, they could exist in places they couldn't before because ripping up the rulebook does that, AND possibly because Eve's growing wrath at her children's torment gave them power. Oh my god, oh my god … THEY SAID THAT THERE WAS GOING TO BE A SLOW BUILD TO A SEASON MYTH-ARC IN THE RETURN TO THE MONSTER OF THE WEEK FORMAT AND THERE WAS AND THEY WERE RIGHT AND AND OH MY GOD, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS FULLY PLANNED OR A HAPPY ACCIDENT, BUT OH MY GOD, BEN AND SERA, YOU … THIS IS STILL NOT MY FAVORITE SEASON (that would be season four), BUT I APPLAUD YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR THIS WORK. All of the applause, guys. ALL OF IT.
… and oh god, this is such an accidental meta commentary on how the writing process sometimes takes on a life of its own, my head hurts and I can't even.
* also, while we're talking about God: I really want to kick Chuck in the head and tell him to get off his dead, lazy ass and come be a fucking father to his trench-coat-wearing son. But moving right along now.
* random thought: … so, I know Sam's mostly human and all, but there have been TWO times now when he's taken in more demon blood than any human being should be able to - and yeah, Famine says that it will never hurt him … but it WILL change him. We have EVIDENCE that "potential vessel + demon blood = permanent change" (see, the fact that the Special Kids developed powers in the first place; see, the physical manifestation of permanent change in the way Nick got scarred by trying to contain Lucifer's grace). … So, um. Has the vaguely demon-flavored part of him had any trouble with all of the creature-related shenanigans of this season?
* Jesus Fucking God, I could watch Jensen and Misha emote at each other all day. Seriously, these two. Maybe Jensen just has chemistry with everyone ever, but he especially has it with Jared and Misha, and it makes the Sam/Dean and Cas/Dean love connections that much more effective.
* "All I ask is this one thing."
"Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?"
"I've earned that, Dean. … I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. … Stand behind me. The one time I ask."
"You're askin' me to stand down? … You know that's the same ransom note that Crowley gave me, right?"
THEY BOTH LOOK SO HURT OH MY GOD. AND I FEEL FOR THEM. I FEEL FOR BOTH OF THEM. I CAN'T PICK ONE OR THE OTHER BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH MY BABIES AND THEY BOTH HAVE SUCH VALID POINTS - CAS IS TRYING TO SAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD FROM RAPHAEL TURNING ARMAGEDDON BACK ON, BUT DEAN FUNDAMENTALLY CANNOT CARE ABOUT THAT OUTSIDE OF A HUMAN LEVEL AND RIGHT NOW, HIS HUMAN LEVEL IS SO CONCERNED WITH LISA AND BEN (WHO ARE PRETTY MUCH A PART OF HIS FAMILY, EVEN IF HE CAN'T EVER REALLY BE WITH LISA AND EVEN IF SHOW KEEPS DENYING THAT BEN IS HIS SON) AND AND AND OH MY GOD, BOYS.
The one point on which I'm kind of mad at Dean is this: oh my god, Dean Winchester, you do not do that to someone who feels so hurt and broken and alone as Cas does. You just don't … but, then again, asking Dean to show his emotions in a conventional way and outside of eleventh hour situations is kind of like asking a fish to do complex calculus. He is, for various reasons, incapable of doing it. And I understand why he can't show Cas that he wants to help him, but that just makes it hurt more that he doesn't.
* HI, DOCTOR VISYAK. I LIKE YOU. ♥
* … she and Bobby are both being so casual about her being the eldritch thing from Purgatory, oh god. … I ship them so hard, now. There's just … I can't even. I love them. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIIE.
* … and there went the casual. … but, hey, it's still a pretty easy conversation, considering the subject matter.
* "You know, we're not all alike-"
"Monsters?"
"If it makes you feel better to call me that, fine."
"You're from freaking Purgatory? You never thought to mention that the whole time you slept with me?"
"I am what I am, Bobby. And I happen to be a friend."
"You wanna explain that to me?"
"I didn't ask those idiots to crack open the door; I just happened to be the thing that fell through - and let me tell you something, you are lucky it was me."
"You saying you're on our side?"
"I'm on my side. I happen to like it here. I don't wanna see this place turned into some bloody wasteland."
Point first: OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
Point second: thank you for acknowledging this point again, Supernatural. More than Lenore, Eleanor, and Elias (and a handful of others) would probably be cool too. Just saying.
* … oh my god, Eleanor is such a badass. SHE'S SPENT 75 YEARS TRYING TO KEEP PURGATORY CLOSED, HOLY SHIT, WHAT A BAMF.
* OH BOBBY. OH BOBBY, YOU PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL MAN. ♥
* "I know I'm going to live to regret this, but … I'm officially on your team. You bastards." Oh, Balthy. I love you, you beautiful, self-righteous, self-serving douchebag. "God be with you, and what have you."
* OH NO SAMMY. D:
* So … Lisa looks scared and Ben is just confused. He's like, "meeeeh, who are these not-Dean men who want to bone my mom." AND THE DEMONS KEEP CATCHING THE GODDAMN IDIOT BALL. DEAN BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR LIKE A BIG DAMN HERO. AND LISA IS FUCKING POSSESSED, JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY, SHE IS POSSESSED.
* … oh god, Cindy Sampson is s- FUCKING KRIPKE'D OH MY GOD … dkgfjfghgdhf, AND JOSSED. "What, you're her white knight now? She wishes she never met you, Dean. You're the worst mistake she ever made. … Second worst. After keeping you." okay, so um, how about a ROUND OF FUCKING APPLAUSE FOR CINDY SAMPSON AND HER BRILLIANT TURN AS DEMON!LISA?
* … but why would you give me that and then take it away, Ben and Sera? Why tell me Dean is Ben's biological father and TAKE IT AWAAAAAY … especially by calling Lisa a slut. :\
* "Says the C-minus lay with ten miles of daddy issues."
* RETURN OF THE AMAZING EXORCISM INCANTATION, I LOVE IT.
* "You can go to Hell, you black-eyed bitch." … Jo is still on Dean's mind, omg. ♥
* AND DEAN. DEAN, YOU BEAUTIFUL … OH GOD IT HURTS. HE EXORCISED THE DEMON FROM LISA AND AND AND OH MY GOD IT HUUUUUUUUUUUURTS. AND HE'S GIVING BEN ADVICE ON HOW TO SHOOT THE SALT GUN. AND OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. … OH MAN, THERE ARE SO MANY PARALLELS TO THE AENEID RIGHT NOW. … not as much as Anakin carrying Obi-Wan while leading Palpatine off of General Greivous's ship in Revenge of the Sith, but still.
* … oh god, Dean and Ben at Lisa's bedside. … and Ben is so mad.
* "I'm sorry." "I don't care."
* "Well, regardless, I didn't come for you." - oh, god, BOYS. Why do you have to be so emotionally stunted and BEAUTIFUL OH GOD IT HUUUUUUURTS.
* "Dean, I said I'm sorry and I meant it." "… thank you. … I wish this changed anything." "… I know. So do I. All this aside, I just wanted to fix what I could." - this is hurting him so much, oh god, Jensen, why are you so GOOD.
* OH GOD AND DEAN'S FACE WHEN HE ASKS CAS TO … AND DEAN'S FACE WHEN HE'S WAITING OUTSIDE OF LISA'S ROOM … AND WHEN BEN ASKS WHO HE IS. AND OH MY GOD, IT HURTS. "I just … I, uh, lost control for a minute. And I wanted to say I'm sorry, and I'm glad you two are both okay. I'm just, I'm glad your life can get back to normal now." OH MY SWEET ZOMBIE JESUS MY HEAAAART. MY HEAAAAAAAAAART.
* "I'll leave you two alone. … You take care of your mom." DEAN MY PRECIOUS WOOBIE-FACE OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WHY DO YOU MAKE IT HURT SO BAD.
* … hello, parallel to that scene where Robo!Sam said he didn't feel anything.
* "Dean, you know, you have pulled some shady crap before, but this has got to be the worst. … White-washing their memories? Take it from somebody who knows-" "If you ever mention Lisa or Ben to me again, I will break your nose." "Dean-" "I'm not kidding."
OH GOD WHY DOES IT HUUUUUUUUUURT.
* OH NO ELEANOR. NO NO NO, NOT ELEANOR. I KNEW IT WAS COMING - AND AWESOME SHOT OF HER AND CAS IN THE WINDOW - BUT IT STILL HUUUUURTS.
* on to "The Man Who Knew Too Much."
In summation: