Glee, 2.18: "Born This Way"
* "Sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's salty - like, what if I have eggs for dinner?" - never gets old, Brittany.
* "Booty Camp?" Really?
* AWWWW RACHEL BB. <3
* … nose jobs at sixteen are a rite of passage for Jewish girls? OH MY GOD DOCTOR DUDE IS SO FUCKING SKEEVY.
* … Brittany does not buy your shit, Rach.
* "Can we all stop pretending there's not something we want to change about ourselves?" - Santana was way too blunt and bullying here but … she has a point.
* "Self-hating Asian." ♥ Mike.
* SAM WANTS TO SEE FINN'S WEIRD PUFFY PYRAMID NIPPLES. SAM WANTS TO SEE FINN'S NIPPLES.
* "I really prefer neat freak or cleaning bug."
* The answer is apparently always Gaga. Right.
* Oh, Santana. "She's so gullible I could convince her that by royal decree, I'd made her being with me the law of the land." … now I really want droit de seigneur Brittana fic. … thanks, Santana.
* … Sam's Sean Connery impersonation is kind of AWESOME.
* … "I'm a closet lesbian AND a judgmental bitch, which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar."
* … Santana is doing something potentially … uh huh. Yeah, this is going to be either very awesome or very terrible.
* "The Queen of Self Love." … yeah, that's a great name for Gaga, actually. It is a perfect description of her forever.
* GIIIIIIIINGER. … I might need to get me a t-shirt with one or more of my insecurities on it, but the question is which one.
* See, the thing is … I love Matthew Morrison, but I hate Will. But sometimes he gets really cute reaction shots.
* Lauren was Miss Tiara Toddler and the MOST PRECIOUS CHILD EVER. aldfkgiqegignibvfgbjb OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, LUCK FOR PROM COURT. LUCK FOR PROM COURT. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOAH PUCKERMAN YOU WONDERFUL LITTLE KNUCKLEHEAD.
* "I pretty much have a warped sense of the world. Being a hot seventeen year old, you can get away with or do whatever you want, so I've kind've always assumed that people are nice and accommodating.
* "This is my friend, Quinn."
* ASLDKDFJHGSSDHGEHQVKKVHDJSKFJBHE THE DUET. THE DUET. IT'S ACTUALLY A FABERRY DUET. THEY'RE SINGING IT TO/WITH/ABOUT EACH OTHER HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT.
* AWWWWW, TINA/MIKE AND MERCEDES DURING "I FEEL PRETTY/UNPRETTY."
* ADLFSKHEHBRGJJEBEFWNBKFDUDS AAAHAHAHAHJDHVEHEBWBLBJIQETUBIUBQEIBIQEBIUQEBKQEHKGUQHGKUHQERIGHQWRIGHQWURGHIQUERGI3 THERE IS NOT ENOUGH FLAILING I CAN DO FOR THE FABERRY DUET.
* "As a joke, right?" "Does it look like I'm joking?" "Well, when your name appears on that ballot, the whole school's going to think it's a laugh riot and it may just get enough votes." "… That's kind of the idea." "And as everybody snickers as they try to squeeze that tiara onto your head, somebody's going to spill the pig's blood on you and you're going to become more of an outcast than you already are." - … I love this scene so much.
* "Not everybody can be born pretty like you, but just so you know? Who you are inside and who you pretend to be to the rest of the world? They're two different people!" "You don't know anything about me, Lauren." - KISS HER, YOU FOOL. COME ON, PRESSED LEMON! UNPRESS YOURSELF.
* … dude, Quinn. It's prom queen. CHILL OUT.
* DLFKRGEH!!! RIGHT I HAVE TO FLAIL ABOUT THE SAVE KAREVANS BAITING GOING ON. DAVE CHECKED OUT SAM'S ASS. SANTANA CALLED HIM ON IT. DAVE, YOU SILLY THING, STOP TRYING TO LIE TO THE QUEEN OF GAY-DAR.
* "Like that's any less gay?"
* Auntie Tana. "You're what we call a late in life gay" - oh my god. I know the crossover fic I need to write. Santana/Lucy Van Pelt from Peanuts. THEY COULD SELL PSYCHIATRIC ADVICE FOR FIVE CENTS WHILE FINGERING EACH OTHER UNDER THE DESK. … oh, god, I need a picture of Eliza Dushku I can use for this. (She played the Lucy analogue in the original run of Dog Meets God, which is basically Peanuts meets The Breakfast Club meets Heathers.)
* "Maybe become a state senator-" oh, god, Senator Dave would be the hottest thing since hot came to Hot Town. Max Adler in a suit so perfect even Barney Stinson wouldn't put it on for fear of ruining its perfection.
* "Maybe become a state senator, or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room, tapping your foot with some paige. And you know what? I accept that about you." … oh my god, are they going to be the closet-case club? CAN THEY PLEASE BE THE CLOSET CASE CLUB?
* … !!! Awww, Santana. This is so manipulative and underhanded, but kind of sweet.
* "The only straight I am is straight-up bitch." … bitch, please. I'm down with her insecurity re: lesbian stereotypes, but … ugh. See previous ranting about why Santana is bisexual.
* "And once again, we are fighting about Rachel." Yeah, you know what would solve that, Quinn? A threesome.
* "Maybe I'm not down with this week's lesson!"
* … fuck. There goes my, "I don't ship Mike Chang with dudes." The "I Gotta Be Me" sequence is just begging for Mike/Finn fic.
* I see you there, Will Schuester, ogling your favorite. His name is Finn Hudson and you want him to turn eighteen so you can tap that. And the two of you would be better than any other Will ship ever.
* "If I don't have many Asian sex symbols to look up to, then I think it's my obligation to become one. My new mantra is, 'be the change you wish to see in the world'." "I love you so much right now…" ASIAN KISS! dkfkfgeghre, I LOVE YOU TINA AND MIKE.
* … asfksjeg, PUCK. He thinks girls are less hot after their nose jobs. ♥
* … oh, Rachel, no.
* ugh, Wemma. Don't fucking care. So beyond the point of caring. Will's being a hypocrite and a perv, and OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE IS TRIGGERING EMMA. HE IS TRIGGERING THE HELL OUT OF HER.
* … yeah, the Save theme song is, "Kiss With A Fist."
* SLUSHIE MONTAGE.
* GO MAKE YOUR BIG BISEXUAL GAY MOMMA PROUD, DAVEY BOY. … his apology is kind of half-assed and kind of half-honest.
* "And then something funny happened. Something called love."
* The Bullywhips: we're gonna be like guardian angels!
* OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY HAVE THE MOST AWESOME ANTI-BULLYING JACKETS EVER. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT.
* … who invited Schuester to the Kurt/Dave apology session?
* "and if I took all the water out of the ocean, it wouldn't be wet anymore" - hum. So, have Burt and Carole been having threesomes with Shannon, or is she just teaching Coach Beiste's Interesting Euphemisms 101 at the Lima rec center?
* The editing in this scene is pretty top notch. As are Kurt and Dave's facial expressions. Bravo, Max and Chris. ♥
* "Burt, were you always so accepting of homosexuals?" OH BITCH YOU DID NOT PUSH THAT BUTTON.
* "I believe he realizes what he did was wrong." … omg, they're going to talk alone flails. dying. sobbing.
* "What's your angle here?" … "I know. I didn't tell anyone." "Why not? It would've made your life a lot easier." "I don't believe in denying who you are, but I don't believe in outing either. But still, you owe. me. the truth. What's going on here?"
* "I'm both repulsed and impressed by her Lady Macbethian ways. A Latina Eve Harrington. … Okay, if you're gonna be gay, you simply must know who that is."
* "You need to be educated, David. You may not have to come out, but you need to be educated." PREACH IT, KURT BB.
* "Just keep an eye on your brother." BURT CALLS FINN AND KURT BROTHERS.
* "One hot Jew to another Jew." - "If you want to breathe better, why don't you have them give you Karl Malden's nose?"
* KURCEDES. ♥
* "And I'll still have you after school and on the weekends, but these guys won't-" YOU MEAN THE WARBLER ORGIES ARE JUST FANFICTION?
* ………………………………………… THEY LET DARREN PLAY PIANO. AND HE'S NOT AUTOTUNED. AND AND AND AND AND AND AND. ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS. AND KLAINE. AND WARBLER HUGS. AND FINN/KURT BROTHER HUG. AND BLAINE IS CRYING. "I'M NEVER SAYING GOODBYE TO YOU." AND BLAINE. AND KURT. AND NEW DIRECTIONS BACK TOGETHER. AND SO PERFECT.
* and Kurt gets a solo of being pleased to be back home.
* And Sam needs a haircut.
* … Puck, for god's sake, stop ship-baiting by looking so happy to see your boy. I HAVE MADE IT THIS LONG WITHOUT SHIPPING YOU TWO OKAY, NOAH.
* THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF KURT'S THEATRICAL GESTICULATIONS. AND MERCEDES AND RACHEL ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE HIM BACK.
* WHY DOES THE GLEE CLUB HAVE A FUCKING HARPIST? IS HER NAME JOANNA? I WANT HER NAME TO BE JOANNA.
* Okay, no seriously. Sam's hair is making him look like he's trying to be Kurt Cobain and it's not cute. His facial structure and trouty mouth are all wrong for rocking the Cobain-look. … well. Cobain-meets-Backstreet Boys look.
* STANDING MOTHERFUCKING OVATION.
* "My dad's college roommate was G. Gordon Liddy. And he taught my pop a valuable lesson. He said the key to any campaign is digging up dirt on your opponent." … I actually kind of love the alternate universe that Glee lives in where things like this are possible.
* "My permanent record has three volumes. I don't remember doing half this stuff."
* ……………. oh my GOD. WHAT. WHAT. First of all, that photomanip actually did a good job of making Dianna look like a hot mess, but WHAT. WHAT? … JUST. JESUS H. CHRIST. LUCY Q. FABRAY. "Lucy Caboosey."
* Okay, I really like how this is set up like a giant pastiche of crime drama shows and movies. PROM QUEEN IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.
* "I hated the way I looked. I had zits. I was chubby. I felt terrible about myself. I didn't have friends. Nobody would talk to me. I was the only kid at school who had to dissect their own frog because nobody would be my lab partner. And then I joined ballet. Lost a little bit of weight. Found out I was athletic. Joined gymnastics, then cheerleading, went on Proactiv for my acne, and when my dad got transferred and got a raise, I asked him if I could get a nose job. He said yes."
"So you hate yourself."
"No, I love myself and that's why I did all those things. I've been that girl and I am never going back. I was a miserable little girl and now I'm gonna be prom queen."
* … oh, god, Lauren, that was harsh, but … it's also seriously a taste of Quinn's own medicine, there. And it's not exactly out of character for either of them.
* "Isn't she one in a million?" "So are you, Rachel. And if you let one misguided societal pressure make you change the way you look, then you won't just be letting Barbra down. You'll be letting down all of the little girls who will look at your beautiful face one day and see themselves. You'll be taking away their inspiration, too."
* DUB-STEP FLASH MOB.
* … oh god, the clip from the gif and the Puckurt and everyone coming together to love Rachel Barbara Berry.
* Sam and Santana doing an awkward closet case chicken dance.
* … Emma spent 48 of her 50 therapy minutes disinfecting a chair.
* "There's a stigma in this country about mental illness. I mean, depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar - they're hard to diagnose, so people don't always appreciate that they're serious problems. But they are."
* "Your illness is not who you're supposed to be. It's keeping you from being who you're supposed to be."
* … Finn, this is so cheesy and actually kind of sweet. "I always thought she was just some stuck up bitch, but she's really one of the people."
* "This just in: Jacob Ben Israel's tweet poll has you up by forty percent. I suppose I kind of had that result coming." … oh, Lauren.
* "I respect you. I had to get a nose job and go on a crazy diet to walk around this school like I owned it. But you just do it." - !!!! … can I ship this too? I think I ship Laurinn. Luren? Laucy? I SHIP IT. >_>
* Britt's shirt: "I'm with stoopid, arrow pointing up"
* Santana's shirt: "BITCH" - "Legend has it that when I came out of my mother, I told the nurse she was fat." - BRITTANY MADE HER A SHIRT THAT SAYS LEBANESE. "Wait was that supposed to say lesbian?"
* "You don't get a say in who I date anymore." "Why not? Because I'm dating somebody? Because you're Lebanese and I think I'm bi-curious?" "No. Because I said I love you and you didn't say you love me back." "I do love you. Clearly, you don't love you as much as I do or you'd put this shirt on and you'd dance with me." OH FUCKING SNAP. I LOVE YOU, BRITT-BRITT.
* Will's shirt: "Butt chin."
* Rachel's shirt: "Nose."
* Kurt's shirt: "Likes boys."
* Mercedes's shirt: "NO WEAVE!" … really? That's the best we could do for her?
* Mike's shirt: "Can't Sing." I BEG TO DIFFER.
* Finn's shirt: "CAN'T DANCE" Accurate.
* Sam's shirt: "Trouty mouth."
* Artie's shirt: "Four eyes."
* Puck's shirt: "I'm with stupid." and the arrow's pointing at his dick. Applause, Glee. Much applause.
* Quinn's shirt: "Lucy Caboosey."
* Lauren's shirt: "Bad attitude."
* Tina's shirt: "Brown eyes." Awww, Tina baby. ♥
* EMMA GOT AN OCD SHIRT. <3
* AWWWW, SANTANA AND DAVE. AND SHE PUT ON THE SHIRT THAT SAYS LEBANESE AND AND AND. AWWWWWWWWW.
* ... oh right, "Lebanese" is in the lyrics of "Born This Way," isn't it.
* also: Kurt's punky hair. I want punk!Kurt AU now. I might have to integrate it with another AU idea I have.
* I also really, really need Santana/Dave fic of: a. them talking to Azimio, trying to tell him about Dave and work through stuff; and b. possibly them trying to fuck each other straight.
Overall: Fan-tucking-fabulous. Glorious episode was glorious. Nicely done, Glee. Nicely done, all around. I'm not even going to complain about the lack of Klaine, as I've seen some folks doing, because this isn't the Kurt-and-Blaine Show; it's Glee. And today had amazing performances from the ensemble as a whole. As for the Quinn-related spoiler ... again? It's Glee.
What I mean is: this kind of thing is par for the course. It's never been disproven and, as it turns out, it kind of retroactively explains a lot about Quinn's personality and behavior, and her mom's, and yeah, it seems kind of contrived ... but Glee exists in a universe where everything comes together in certain ways, and makes sense in certain ways, and I still hate RIB's insistence that Santana is a lesbian and not bisexual ... but. I posit that the sooner more people accept that the world of Glee cannot be effectively judged with "real world" rules, the happier a lof of us will be.
It's still a giant crockpot of fail vis a vis pretty much all things social justice, especially trans* issues and race issues, but ... I love it anyway. And this episode was just ... everything I love about Glee in one place. Reminding me why I put up with so much of this show's crap.
Now: shower and decide if I'm going to pull an all-nighter or nap, then get up at like. 6:30 and work until Lucy's class. Or work a little, then nap, then get up at 7:30 or what.
* "Booty Camp?" Really?
* AWWWW RACHEL BB. <3
* … nose jobs at sixteen are a rite of passage for Jewish girls? OH MY GOD DOCTOR DUDE IS SO FUCKING SKEEVY.
* … Brittany does not buy your shit, Rach.
* "Can we all stop pretending there's not something we want to change about ourselves?" - Santana was way too blunt and bullying here but … she has a point.
* "Self-hating Asian." ♥ Mike.
* SAM WANTS TO SEE FINN'S WEIRD PUFFY PYRAMID NIPPLES. SAM WANTS TO SEE FINN'S NIPPLES.
* "I really prefer neat freak or cleaning bug."
* The answer is apparently always Gaga. Right.
* Oh, Santana. "She's so gullible I could convince her that by royal decree, I'd made her being with me the law of the land." … now I really want droit de seigneur Brittana fic. … thanks, Santana.
* … Sam's Sean Connery impersonation is kind of AWESOME.
* … "I'm a closet lesbian AND a judgmental bitch, which means one thing: I have awesome gaydar."
* … Santana is doing something potentially … uh huh. Yeah, this is going to be either very awesome or very terrible.
* "The Queen of Self Love." … yeah, that's a great name for Gaga, actually. It is a perfect description of her forever.
* GIIIIIIIINGER. … I might need to get me a t-shirt with one or more of my insecurities on it, but the question is which one.
* See, the thing is … I love Matthew Morrison, but I hate Will. But sometimes he gets really cute reaction shots.
* Lauren was Miss Tiara Toddler and the MOST PRECIOUS CHILD EVER. aldfkgiqegignibvfgbjb OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, LUCK FOR PROM COURT. LUCK FOR PROM COURT. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOAH PUCKERMAN YOU WONDERFUL LITTLE KNUCKLEHEAD.
* "I pretty much have a warped sense of the world. Being a hot seventeen year old, you can get away with or do whatever you want, so I've kind've always assumed that people are nice and accommodating.
* "This is my friend, Quinn."
* ASLDKDFJHGSSDHGEHQVKKVHDJSKFJBHE THE DUET. THE DUET. IT'S ACTUALLY A FABERRY DUET. THEY'RE SINGING IT TO/WITH/ABOUT EACH OTHER HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT.
* AWWWWW, TINA/MIKE AND MERCEDES DURING "I FEEL PRETTY/UNPRETTY."
* ADLFSKHEHBRGJJEBEFWNBKFDUDS AAAHAHAHAHJDHVEHEBWBLBJIQETUBIUBQEIBIQEBIUQEBKQEHKGUQHGKUHQERIGHQWRIGHQWURGHIQUERGI3 THERE IS NOT ENOUGH FLAILING I CAN DO FOR THE FABERRY DUET.
* "As a joke, right?" "Does it look like I'm joking?" "Well, when your name appears on that ballot, the whole school's going to think it's a laugh riot and it may just get enough votes." "… That's kind of the idea." "And as everybody snickers as they try to squeeze that tiara onto your head, somebody's going to spill the pig's blood on you and you're going to become more of an outcast than you already are." - … I love this scene so much.
* "Not everybody can be born pretty like you, but just so you know? Who you are inside and who you pretend to be to the rest of the world? They're two different people!" "You don't know anything about me, Lauren." - KISS HER, YOU FOOL. COME ON, PRESSED LEMON! UNPRESS YOURSELF.
* … dude, Quinn. It's prom queen. CHILL OUT.
* DLFKRGEH!!! RIGHT I HAVE TO FLAIL ABOUT THE SAVE KAREVANS BAITING GOING ON. DAVE CHECKED OUT SAM'S ASS. SANTANA CALLED HIM ON IT. DAVE, YOU SILLY THING, STOP TRYING TO LIE TO THE QUEEN OF GAY-DAR.
* "Like that's any less gay?"
* Auntie Tana. "You're what we call a late in life gay" - oh my god. I know the crossover fic I need to write. Santana/Lucy Van Pelt from Peanuts. THEY COULD SELL PSYCHIATRIC ADVICE FOR FIVE CENTS WHILE FINGERING EACH OTHER UNDER THE DESK. … oh, god, I need a picture of Eliza Dushku I can use for this. (She played the Lucy analogue in the original run of Dog Meets God, which is basically Peanuts meets The Breakfast Club meets Heathers.)
* "Maybe become a state senator-" oh, god, Senator Dave would be the hottest thing since hot came to Hot Town. Max Adler in a suit so perfect even Barney Stinson wouldn't put it on for fear of ruining its perfection.
* "Maybe become a state senator, or a deacon, and then get caught in the men's room, tapping your foot with some paige. And you know what? I accept that about you." … oh my god, are they going to be the closet-case club? CAN THEY PLEASE BE THE CLOSET CASE CLUB?
* … !!! Awww, Santana. This is so manipulative and underhanded, but kind of sweet.
* "The only straight I am is straight-up bitch." … bitch, please. I'm down with her insecurity re: lesbian stereotypes, but … ugh. See previous ranting about why Santana is bisexual.
* "And once again, we are fighting about Rachel." Yeah, you know what would solve that, Quinn? A threesome.
* "Maybe I'm not down with this week's lesson!"
* … fuck. There goes my, "I don't ship Mike Chang with dudes." The "I Gotta Be Me" sequence is just begging for Mike/Finn fic.
* I see you there, Will Schuester, ogling your favorite. His name is Finn Hudson and you want him to turn eighteen so you can tap that. And the two of you would be better than any other Will ship ever.
* "If I don't have many Asian sex symbols to look up to, then I think it's my obligation to become one. My new mantra is, 'be the change you wish to see in the world'." "I love you so much right now…" ASIAN KISS! dkfkfgeghre, I LOVE YOU TINA AND MIKE.
* … asfksjeg, PUCK. He thinks girls are less hot after their nose jobs. ♥
* … oh, Rachel, no.
* ugh, Wemma. Don't fucking care. So beyond the point of caring. Will's being a hypocrite and a perv, and OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE IS TRIGGERING EMMA. HE IS TRIGGERING THE HELL OUT OF HER.
* … yeah, the Save theme song is, "Kiss With A Fist."
* SLUSHIE MONTAGE.
* GO MAKE YOUR BIG BISEXUAL GAY MOMMA PROUD, DAVEY BOY. … his apology is kind of half-assed and kind of half-honest.
* "And then something funny happened. Something called love."
* The Bullywhips: we're gonna be like guardian angels!
* OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY HAVE THE MOST AWESOME ANTI-BULLYING JACKETS EVER. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT.
* … who invited Schuester to the Kurt/Dave apology session?
* "and if I took all the water out of the ocean, it wouldn't be wet anymore" - hum. So, have Burt and Carole been having threesomes with Shannon, or is she just teaching Coach Beiste's Interesting Euphemisms 101 at the Lima rec center?
* The editing in this scene is pretty top notch. As are Kurt and Dave's facial expressions. Bravo, Max and Chris. ♥
* "Burt, were you always so accepting of homosexuals?" OH BITCH YOU DID NOT PUSH THAT BUTTON.
* "I believe he realizes what he did was wrong." … omg, they're going to talk alone flails. dying. sobbing.
* "What's your angle here?" … "I know. I didn't tell anyone." "Why not? It would've made your life a lot easier." "I don't believe in denying who you are, but I don't believe in outing either. But still, you owe. me. the truth. What's going on here?"
* "I'm both repulsed and impressed by her Lady Macbethian ways. A Latina Eve Harrington. … Okay, if you're gonna be gay, you simply must know who that is."
* "You need to be educated, David. You may not have to come out, but you need to be educated." PREACH IT, KURT BB.
* "Just keep an eye on your brother." BURT CALLS FINN AND KURT BROTHERS.
* "One hot Jew to another Jew." - "If you want to breathe better, why don't you have them give you Karl Malden's nose?"
* KURCEDES. ♥
* "And I'll still have you after school and on the weekends, but these guys won't-" YOU MEAN THE WARBLER ORGIES ARE JUST FANFICTION?
* ………………………………………… THEY LET DARREN PLAY PIANO. AND HE'S NOT AUTOTUNED. AND AND AND AND AND AND AND. ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS. AND KLAINE. AND WARBLER HUGS. AND FINN/KURT BROTHER HUG. AND BLAINE IS CRYING. "I'M NEVER SAYING GOODBYE TO YOU." AND BLAINE. AND KURT. AND NEW DIRECTIONS BACK TOGETHER. AND SO PERFECT.
* and Kurt gets a solo of being pleased to be back home.
* And Sam needs a haircut.
* … Puck, for god's sake, stop ship-baiting by looking so happy to see your boy. I HAVE MADE IT THIS LONG WITHOUT SHIPPING YOU TWO OKAY, NOAH.
* THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF KURT'S THEATRICAL GESTICULATIONS. AND MERCEDES AND RACHEL ARE SO HAPPY TO HAVE HIM BACK.
* WHY DOES THE GLEE CLUB HAVE A FUCKING HARPIST? IS HER NAME JOANNA? I WANT HER NAME TO BE JOANNA.
* Okay, no seriously. Sam's hair is making him look like he's trying to be Kurt Cobain and it's not cute. His facial structure and trouty mouth are all wrong for rocking the Cobain-look. … well. Cobain-meets-Backstreet Boys look.
* STANDING MOTHERFUCKING OVATION.
* "My dad's college roommate was G. Gordon Liddy. And he taught my pop a valuable lesson. He said the key to any campaign is digging up dirt on your opponent." … I actually kind of love the alternate universe that Glee lives in where things like this are possible.
* "My permanent record has three volumes. I don't remember doing half this stuff."
* ……………. oh my GOD. WHAT. WHAT. First of all, that photomanip actually did a good job of making Dianna look like a hot mess, but WHAT. WHAT? … JUST. JESUS H. CHRIST. LUCY Q. FABRAY. "Lucy Caboosey."
* Okay, I really like how this is set up like a giant pastiche of crime drama shows and movies. PROM QUEEN IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.
* "I hated the way I looked. I had zits. I was chubby. I felt terrible about myself. I didn't have friends. Nobody would talk to me. I was the only kid at school who had to dissect their own frog because nobody would be my lab partner. And then I joined ballet. Lost a little bit of weight. Found out I was athletic. Joined gymnastics, then cheerleading, went on Proactiv for my acne, and when my dad got transferred and got a raise, I asked him if I could get a nose job. He said yes."
"So you hate yourself."
"No, I love myself and that's why I did all those things. I've been that girl and I am never going back. I was a miserable little girl and now I'm gonna be prom queen."
* … oh, god, Lauren, that was harsh, but … it's also seriously a taste of Quinn's own medicine, there. And it's not exactly out of character for either of them.
* "Isn't she one in a million?" "So are you, Rachel. And if you let one misguided societal pressure make you change the way you look, then you won't just be letting Barbra down. You'll be letting down all of the little girls who will look at your beautiful face one day and see themselves. You'll be taking away their inspiration, too."
* DUB-STEP FLASH MOB.
* … oh god, the clip from the gif and the Puckurt and everyone coming together to love Rachel Barbara Berry.
* Sam and Santana doing an awkward closet case chicken dance.
* … Emma spent 48 of her 50 therapy minutes disinfecting a chair.
* "There's a stigma in this country about mental illness. I mean, depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar - they're hard to diagnose, so people don't always appreciate that they're serious problems. But they are."
* "Your illness is not who you're supposed to be. It's keeping you from being who you're supposed to be."
* … Finn, this is so cheesy and actually kind of sweet. "I always thought she was just some stuck up bitch, but she's really one of the people."
* "This just in: Jacob Ben Israel's tweet poll has you up by forty percent. I suppose I kind of had that result coming." … oh, Lauren.
* "I respect you. I had to get a nose job and go on a crazy diet to walk around this school like I owned it. But you just do it." - !!!! … can I ship this too? I think I ship Laurinn. Luren? Laucy? I SHIP IT. >_>
* Britt's shirt: "I'm with stoopid, arrow pointing up"
* Santana's shirt: "BITCH" - "Legend has it that when I came out of my mother, I told the nurse she was fat." - BRITTANY MADE HER A SHIRT THAT SAYS LEBANESE. "Wait was that supposed to say lesbian?"
* "You don't get a say in who I date anymore." "Why not? Because I'm dating somebody? Because you're Lebanese and I think I'm bi-curious?" "No. Because I said I love you and you didn't say you love me back." "I do love you. Clearly, you don't love you as much as I do or you'd put this shirt on and you'd dance with me." OH FUCKING SNAP. I LOVE YOU, BRITT-BRITT.
* Will's shirt: "Butt chin."
* Rachel's shirt: "Nose."
* Kurt's shirt: "Likes boys."
* Mercedes's shirt: "NO WEAVE!" … really? That's the best we could do for her?
* Mike's shirt: "Can't Sing." I BEG TO DIFFER.
* Finn's shirt: "CAN'T DANCE" Accurate.
* Sam's shirt: "Trouty mouth."
* Artie's shirt: "Four eyes."
* Puck's shirt: "I'm with stupid." and the arrow's pointing at his dick. Applause, Glee. Much applause.
* Quinn's shirt: "Lucy Caboosey."
* Lauren's shirt: "Bad attitude."
* Tina's shirt: "Brown eyes." Awww, Tina baby. ♥
* EMMA GOT AN OCD SHIRT. <3
* AWWWW, SANTANA AND DAVE. AND SHE PUT ON THE SHIRT THAT SAYS LEBANESE AND AND AND. AWWWWWWWWW.
* ... oh right, "Lebanese" is in the lyrics of "Born This Way," isn't it.
* also: Kurt's punky hair. I want punk!Kurt AU now. I might have to integrate it with another AU idea I have.
* I also really, really need Santana/Dave fic of: a. them talking to Azimio, trying to tell him about Dave and work through stuff; and b. possibly them trying to fuck each other straight.
Overall: Fan-tucking-fabulous. Glorious episode was glorious. Nicely done, Glee. Nicely done, all around. I'm not even going to complain about the lack of Klaine, as I've seen some folks doing, because this isn't the Kurt-and-Blaine Show; it's Glee. And today had amazing performances from the ensemble as a whole. As for the Quinn-related spoiler ... again? It's Glee.
What I mean is: this kind of thing is par for the course. It's never been disproven and, as it turns out, it kind of retroactively explains a lot about Quinn's personality and behavior, and her mom's, and yeah, it seems kind of contrived ... but Glee exists in a universe where everything comes together in certain ways, and makes sense in certain ways, and I still hate RIB's insistence that Santana is a lesbian and not bisexual ... but. I posit that the sooner more people accept that the world of Glee cannot be effectively judged with "real world" rules, the happier a lof of us will be.
It's still a giant crockpot of fail vis a vis pretty much all things social justice, especially trans* issues and race issues, but ... I love it anyway. And this episode was just ... everything I love about Glee in one place. Reminding me why I put up with so much of this show's crap.
Now: shower and decide if I'm going to pull an all-nighter or nap, then get up at like. 6:30 and work until Lucy's class. Or work a little, then nap, then get up at 7:30 or what.